I M Perfect lady

Isn't it so telling, that there are two sides, when we speak  about abuse within the families of a strict religion?  

From a church community whose lives portray high morals and values and yet, when it comes to 'breaking the silence' about abuse…the silence is deafening.

Many of these same members will pull children out of classrooms, will stalk teachers about their curriculum and yet, when a evil entity enters their family and abuses their children.  Silence.

How is it that they can be so outspoken to spare their child from learning about different concepts in life and be so quiet when it comes to expressing the sins, failings, crimes among the folks on the pews?

Is there a double standard for those outside of the church, compared to inside?

Is there also a different bar set for those inside the family….like no bar at all. Any kind of behavior is acceptable…and the mother will not explode in an outcry of what is 'good' for her child.

I just am confounded and amazed at the double lives so many lead.

How dare they be outraged at a child watching a movie and be okay with Uncle, Father, brother, son so and so, molesting a child.  I know, again, there will be outrage for my wording here.  I get it.

What you all don't know or fail to remember IS THAT I WAS YOU.

I lived in complete denial for 46 years.

I too tried to shelter my children from the 'sins of the world' while allowing my child to be friendly with a pedophile, who's my father.  I get it.

I had fear set deep in my bones about my father and I denied my body….and instead choose to keep sweet with the family.

I was you.

I am not just spouting off without experience.

I am trying to awaken you to what I too didn't know and what no one spoke to me about.

I have spoken to many women within in the church and some from other strict churches and it is like there is a wall called "belief" or "Faith" that stands in the way of action.

They are waiting for it to be okay to tell.

Waiting for the climate in the church to be okay with speaking up and taking actions.

They know their child has been abused.

They know, they were abused.

They also know, if they speak of a sin that has been washed away….they become a sinner.

Their faith holds them back.

Their faith keeps them silent; complaint in order to arrive at heaven's gate one day.

Their own personal future is standing in the way.

And, more often than not, their own abuse has limited their ability to see abuse; for it will mean to deal with their own.

The list is long and entangled; between religion, their faith and abuse….albeit repressed or too afraid to address it for it will mean grave changes within their family.

There are also those folks who don't want to fully bring in evil into their sacred religion and faith.  It is their belief, that the evil has been washed away in the sea of grace and it isn't something that they can now take to the Law of the Land, or put up a boundary against.

I too used to believe in this magical forgiveness.  Only to find all that I forgave lingered on and had a life of its own.  The sins were who they were, not an anomaly.

The false belief is that the abuser 'can't help themselves' and the teachings of the church is that the body has sinful needs.  Removing all blame and responsibility from the sinner and giving it to the one who was the victim of this sin.

I know, that there are minor sins….but the belief that even the most evil among us are to be forgiven is where pedophiles fall through the crack and flourish.

There are two sides.  Denial and the Honest truth.

Just knowing we butt heads; means we are not on the same page.

Where can we stand in agreement?

What is up for scrutiny?

Is it possible to lay down your faith and would you?

It wasn't until a small child echoed my experience of abuse with my father that my eyes and ears opened.  

I was no longer unaware.

What can I do or say to elicit the same response?

Is there anything to convince a person against their will?

And isn't the actions of folks in denial the very content of denial?

Perhaps I speak for the child in me…