I M Perfect lady

I was wondering if boundaries are what create estrangement?  

And, what does it mean to your previous relationship, that when you add a boundary it ends?  

Is it possible to create new boundaries in an old relationship and have it survive?  

Does an estrangement signal that the relationship has reached its limits?  

Are there limitless relationships?

Isn't there a limit or a line that each relationship carries?  

Don't we all know, what each relationship can or cannot handle?

Who is responsible for staying beneath the line?

Do we have the same markers for all relationships or do we bend and lower our boundaries for some?

Who decides these boundaries?

Are they mutual and clearly stated or is it a surprise when we cross the unknown line?

What makes up the boundaries in relationships you hold?

Is the content similar with everyone you engage with?

Do boundaries look like your values and morals?

Are boundaries more action based than words?

Is the level of the friendship/relationship worthy of different boundaries?

Do closer friendships have more rules, than say, social friendships?

Do we allow certain behaviors for some and then not for others?

Does it matter who is treating us poorly or who is asking us to lower our standards?

I have had conversations with people as they wonder about leaving or staying in a relationship.  I always tell them they will know when to go. But maybe that is not true. If you don't know your boundaries; how will you know when a relationship has crossed that mark?

Each of us get to decide what our relationships will contain.  We get to decide what treatments and behaviors we will endure; and what is not acceptable.  

It is said, that when a man hits a woman the first time, and she stays, she is sending out a signal of acceptance.

Isn't this true for all actions?

We are who we are in relationships based upon what we tolerate or don't. 

I do have clear lines.

Now.

It is possible to go from no boundaries to very firm self-respecting ones.

Abuse clearly is a no boundary state.

Often when it happens in childhood, we grow up boundary-less.

While I have many estrangements in my past; they are all places where a boundary was placed and the relationship didn't survive.

Just to be sure, I had to go and get the definition of estrangement.

"to turn away in feeling or affection; make unfriendly or hostile; alienate the affections of: Their quarrel estranged the two friends." or "the fact of no longer being on friendly terms or part of a social group."

Mostly, in my experience, I was not friendly to lies.  I was hostile to the idea of someone trying to convince me that something wasn't true…when it clearly was.

I had heard that the truth can be excused…or explained; but it never changes.

I agree.

My estrangements are all based upon the truth that I see and mostly what they choose not to see.

That is a huge boundary for me.

I require reality.

Its truth is mine.

Being estranged from many is painful; but more painful to me, is to be estranged from the truth.  That is denial.  Where I lived for 46 years with grave consequences.  I will no longer be in relationships that require denial.