Rachael Denhollander once again is speaking so eloquently for victims of sexual abuse when she speaks about how churches are one of the worst places to go for help.

Read more in this article.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/first-woman-accuse-nassar-says-203226814.html?soc_src=hl-viewer&soc_trk=fb

In the past few weeks the women of the Gymnastic world have affirmed so many victims of sexual abuse. They have given us credibility and sadly due to the sheer number.

Somehow the world opens their eyes a bit wider when there is more than one.

What has been so supporting to me, is how they are not just focusing on the Perpetrator; but on the environment in which he operated.

Rachael speaking out about her experiences with the church completely affirms my stance over the past 13 years.

It truly is the worst place to go for help.

What they have to offer, actually hurts more; not less.

"Denhollander, an evangelical Christian, saw that Biblical teachings about grace and repentance were being weaponized against victims, pressuring them into offering an easy forgiveness to their abusers. At the same time, churches lacked accountability structures that treated victims with compassion and respect." 

I am not even sure that religious organizations will ever be able to make the changes need to support victims, for it will go against everything they believe in.

"Many churches hold poor interpretations of Scripture that imply the victim is somehow at fault for dressing or acting a certain way ‘immodestly,’ that speaking up about abuse is ‘gossip’ or ‘slander,’ and that forgiveness is moving on without demanding justice for the victims,” Easter told HuffPost. “These stances are a stark contrast from Jesus’ ministry to the marginalized.”

These beliefs will stand in the way of anyone who tries to seek help.  

My experience, is they had nothing of value to impart.  More often words that were hurtful and showed me we were now seeing the world differently.

Again, another veil had been lifted and I could see that which they were blind to.

I wondered, then – What is the role of the church, and what are its values, and IF they can't stand for victims, and their main message supports the abusers, who are they then?

Where is their value?

Again, for the umpteenth time, many want to keep my father and the First Apostolic Lutheran Church quite separate.  They, don't want any of his dirt on them.  Yet, they are the ones who forgave him time and time again. I am sorry, it is on you.

This is another area of magic making. Where there is a sleight of hand. Now you see the pedophile and now you don't.  He has been forgiven.

The forgiveness of sins takes crimes and wipes them away.

Leaving the victim in that awkward spot of still wearing the affects of being abused. And, trying to live in a world where they know there is a pedophile; but can't express it.

What I have been thinking about as these girls come forth and we can see the two strikingly different contrasts between man and pedophile and the organizations who supposedly had stellar reputations, IS the two worlds.

Would that not confuse and bring anxiety?

How can you rest in your own skin, when there are two diabolically opposed worlds going on?

And, we place this "mental" state on the person, NOT on the institution and other folks with two lives.

"Denhollander first went public with her accusations in The Indianapolis Star in September 2016.At the time, she and her husband were attending a church in Louisville, Kentucky. She claimed the church was “directly” involved in supporting a local pastor who had been accused of covering up child sex abuse. When Denhollander spoke up on behalf of survivors, it caused a rift between her and the leaders of her church. She said some elders even used her personal story of sexual abuse as a weapon against her, claiming that the assault had clouded her judgment as an advocate."

It is quite remarkable, society and those who defend the organizations, will place the label mental upon us, instead of the organizations who are acting twisted up.

That we have a disorder, instead of there being a disorder to their organization.

It is much easier to wreck one person's mental state of being, compared to acknowledging that the group is messed up.

Saying I am mental costs most people nothing.

They get to keep their Mom and dad, keep their family, keep their church and their ticket to heaven. Casting me aside is the easiest road possible, and requires nothing of them.

I knew, that I had somehow been made to carry the disorders that were not mine to carry.

And, oddly at the time, I felt the most clear and un-mental that I ever felt.

When family, church and organizations don't own their disorder they try and impose it upon us.

That we are a disorder.

We are disorderly to their order.

That we are the ones who are insane.

This is what I believe is the underlying static that causes us to feel mental.  Not that we are.

I never took up the label. I know that I am seen as mental; but I don't wear it personally.

I know where the disorder lies, and it isn't within me.

Call Me Mental, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZg7-Ex2m5I&feature=youtu.be is a documentary that I was part of.  And, it is true, they do.

But, who really has disorder in its structure and the relationship with itself?

Imagine being a church who believes it has value and moral standards, only to not be able to stand with victims because it will directly oppose its main message?

That would mess with your mind and mission.

Mostly, I am shunned because they are afraid I am right.

 I love this border fabric, for it is patched and different and so messy and artistic. And, I love the center –  with nature, color, and the determined strong woman, doing what she loves.