I M Perfect lady

There is a wall of inertia surrounding an abused child. Many immobile adults who are standing between the child and their freedom, and yet we as a society are wanting the child to speak up. To tell.  And, to keep telling until someone hears.

We are placing the blame upon the child to end the inertia surrounding the act of criminal sexual assault of a child.

The child is the one who has to keep telling in order to get the adults moving.

To speak louder, to try harder, to be more eloquent, and unless you can be heard, you are the reason that your perpetrator will act again.

When will we as a society look at the wall of inertia.

What we are also believing is that the wall of inertia contains adults WHO DON’T KNOW.

I am beginning to believe, it is very rare for a case about sexual abuse upon a child, to be unknown.  Someone knows, someone has been told, but that someone choses to not to believe, or believes, but Choses to not move on it.

In order to eradicate sexual abuse or abuse against children we need to bang on the wall of inertia.  And, make it a crime to know and do nothing.

This wall of inertia appears to be deaf and blind. It appears to not know what is happening. It appears to not care what is happening. It appears that the lives of the children do not matter. It appears insane at best.

I can’t know what will begin to break down this inertia, what will start to make adults see the child over their own needs.  What will it take?

For sadly, in most cases, the perpetrator IS someone the child knows. Someone in the inner circle of the family.  Which is partly to blame for the inertia. What person wants to act like they believe their family member or friend IS a criminal? Who wants to act like that criminal should not be around children, perhaps be arrested and put in jail. Which of your family members do you want to see this happen to. What priest of yours do you want to see behind bars.

WE don’t move, because we love them, trust them and  they are our family or friends.

And we pretend, that if we can have the children speak louder and clearer to someone who will have the courage to put them in jail, we can end abuse.

WE don’t want to look at ourselves. WE don’t want to see how our own boundaries are weak and where we do not hold others accountable for their actions.

WE don’t want to see how our relationships have many places where we did not do the right thing, but the easy thing and overlook and look around poor behavior.

Let us please instead, look at the child behind our wall of inertia.

We don’t want to move or act or speak of abuse, BUT we expect a child to do it for us.

It is time for us to stop blaming the child for our inertia.

As adults we have the responsibility for our actions or the lack thereof.

We are the ones who place boundaries, not the children.

It is not up to the children to end abuse.

It is up to the adults in their lives to stop engaging with adults who hurt children.

I want to give permission to the children who have suffered sexual abuse to just be.  It isn’t your fault. You are free from blame. We have been looking in the wrong direction for much too long.

We instead need to look intensely at the adult surrounding the child.

We rarely look upward to see those surround the child and what they are doing or not doing and more WHY?

Why is there a wall of inertia around a child who has been assaulted?

The child in the middle is merely showing us the truth of what we have allowed in our lives.