I M Perfect lady

Lot of Living to Do

In an exchange with a friend, I shared how there are still many times I have a lump in my throat and/or a feeling in my chest of sorrow.  The sadnesses of our lives don't just disappear; but the sounds of them grew fainter and then again come crashing in loud.

I just don't believe that life will always feel like love and joy – and peace I feel happens when we can carry all of our emotions with us and accept them as they appear.

There is a finesse in living with the pains of yesterdays.

I learned that I could juggle both – and it was best not to hold on to any feeling too tightly; but to keep flowing with what arises.

 

I process and shed many many tears on my mail route and it still offers me the space to breathe into the lumps and sorrows.

 

Just as the virus was the background to 2020 – so are our past pains.

Mixed into the memories and losses are todays sadness and missing – as well as the smiles some thoughts bring. Being open and present we can experience many emotions in one day.

We are not the emotions we feel.

We can honor them, acknowledge them, feel them and know this too shall pass.

 

One of the things that helped me to maintain a balance, was to balance life.

I allowed myself the minutes to be sad. Really Sad – and even really mad.

I then gave myself minutes and hours of creative space and active movements.

 

Even today, I know that who I am as a person is better when I have created, when I have been outside, and even when I take the time to be with me.  Breathing in and sitting with my truths.

 

I am grateful to feel the wholeness of being human – being fearless in feeling the deepest sorrows and then the brilliant feelings of love and joy.

Often we do not chose what arrives in our lives; but we do have the option in how we assimilate it into our worlds.

Again, being creative and resilient offers to us ways in which we can expand and grow into who we are.

I just wanted to share that a beautiful life holds all expressions.

No part of me is being rejected.

I am not ashamed.

In order to be who I am today, I had to go through all that I went through.

It is in the difficult times we find out who we are.

You can't become a badass without struggle.

 

Even a badass strides with lumps in their throats and sorrow in their chests.

And, they do it living life in ways that are beautiful.

Creating a strong inner knowing, it is survivable.

Thrivable.

 

And, I am extremely grateful for all the strong badass women who walk with me – while each carry their own lumps and chests full of sorrow.  We not only live – we live lives of adventure and growth. 

We are badasses inside and out!

Cheers to last year, and Welcome 2021

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We have lots of living to do!  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Published by

bjukuri

Responses

  1. Dawn Avatar
    Dawn

    That’s a lot that you’ve learned about life, about living with sorrow, and about yourself and how you deal with it best. When my parents died I did a lot of crying on my commute to and from work. It was about an hour when I could be by myself and just let it go. Sometimes I had to pull over and cry because I couldn’t see. It was pretty much the only hour of the work week when I was by myself. I’m glad I had at least that.
    I’ve enjoyed watching you grow and smile and learn more about what is important to you and your kids and grandkids and your amazing women friends. If I still lived up there I’d hope to be able to be part of your group. You are living an amazing life and you’re going to enjoy it even more once you’re retired. Guaranteed.

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  2. I M Perfect Avatar
    I M Perfect

    Dawn, I totally get how driving is the perfect place to cry. The drive to and from work was not wasted, it allowed the emotions to surface and be felt and acknowledged. How cleansing to have cries that need your full attentions. I remember the feelings too of what we call “Wracking Sobs” where it would be a full body experience. I think we are the lucky ones who can feel that deep.
    Thank you for your words. YOU would so fit into our group of women. Perhaps when we can gather again, and have a camping trip etc planned you can come up!
    I so know that retirement will offer way more adventures.
    I am excited for this new year.

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  3. Joan Avatar
    Joan

    Read with today with a renewed spirit…no man is an island in their joy, sorrow or acceptance. All are very necessary and the pace with which we proceed is totally personal. There isn’t a first or last place but a place and to be in the company of others who accept and share, what more can a healing group of people offer to each other? I count my blessings to be sitting here today and for all that has transpired to get me to this day. Life is so very surreal and yet so stark naked real….the yin and yang. The acknowledgement of sadness from within is necessary in order to witness our individuality and all that pieces us together. If we were not grateful for the helping hands of others, the shared grief, the quest to live despite the hardships and attacks on our person and soul…proof there is a reason, a passion to strive to love and be loved no matter what. Love has to be the only reason I’m still here because I am supposed to give love and learn how to receive because others count on me and believe in me. That does not make me feel proud, just grateful to continue to realize I am not an island but so intricately connected to others. Thank you Beth and Dawn for being imperfectly you! Love, Joanie

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  4. I M Perfect Avatar
    I M Perfect

    Thanks Joan for all your thoughts and sharing. I understand and I know you are beyond grateful to have this opportunity to love and be loved and to be fully aware of it. All that you lived through has brought you to this moment in time and made you who you are.
    Thanks for being you.

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