I M Perfect lady

"Oh the Heartstrings of Reality" was in a message from a soul sister friend.  

There are feelings that tug on our heart strings, stirring up memories and crushing dreams – both loving and not so loving.

I wondered about the content of my heart – and the memories it holds. 

I often say, "I hold you in my heart" as if it is a sacred place to keep cherished beings.

It feels different than "I will keep you in my thoughts".

I also wondered if having feelings means you are suffering.  

 My brother commented that "Emptiness and loss is a state of suffering in my experience."

But is it?

Do we suffer with feelings or do we simply express them?

I wondered how many feelings we have and how they land on the scale.

"Plutchick believed that humans can experience over 34,000 unique emotions but, ordinarily, they experience eight primary emotions. These primary emotions include anger, fear, sadness, joy, disgust, surprise, trust, and anticipation. These emotions are arranged as opposites on the wheel: Sadness and Joy."

I love that there is an emotional wheel – kind of like the color wheel 

What surprised me was the imbalance if you will between what we'd call positive over negative.  

Yet are they?  

It seems more they are just messengers about our reality as well as a way for us to communicate what we feel inside. 

I have been pondering his words and my world and my experiences – with emotions.

In my early life, I repressed emotions – and neglected my feelings or even allowed myself to feel.  Let alone feel and speak how I felt. Then I believe I suffered. 

Suffering feels restrained and tight.

Feeling the emotions of estrangement – is just that – feeling what its content is.

Perhaps IF I stood in the estrangement space all day – I would be in suffering. But, it is a place that I visit; but I don't live there.

I live in the wider space – for the relationships or non-relationships I have with my family of origin – only pop up from time to time.

Almost two decades have passed by, my world has been filling up with new relationships and shared memories, they are not a part of.

They are a heartstring from long ago.

New strings grow and old ones fade and get tattered.

There are fanciful ones and sorrowful ones, like a heart of many colors.  If you look at the color wheel, we can only hope our heart carry more sunshine colors.

Our heartstrings are personal and carry the language of our journey.

I was inspired to do a heartstring heart.  And I was waiting to add words after I blogged. 

I am thinking now my heartstring heart would carry more color.  I will see where today's art takes me. 

My heartstrings, today are not suffering.

I love the content of my heart and all its strings.