This is it:
This body is home.
This is where I live and hang my hat.
This is where I settle into my hips and sit easy in myself, slung together with strong muscles and bones, made gentle and forging with flesh.
This body is durable, has lasted for years, hunkered down through fierce storms and allows for the peaceful erosions of age. It is like a cottage on the shore: weathered and well made, a place where a person could comfortably live.
I like it here.
It is my own.
By Marya Hornbacher
I wondered today, what would be a good role model for a mother?
What kind of woman would she be?
What skills and intelligence would she need?
Women become mothers – often without skills – and for sure experience.
A child is born and there we are – responsible for a life and called a Mother.
Perhaps the best mothers are women who are at home in their skin and have empathy for the human life of ups and downs – the fragility and complexity of being alive – and having their own self love.
Maybe Self-love is the foundation of a great mother.
I do know that children are not good listeners of what we speak – but are great at emulating our actions – and can feel how we feel about ourselves.
Lacking a strong loving role model, I was left to find my way on my own.
I mothered for many years without a connection to myself and even fully knowing who I was – let alone loving myself.
I know I tried to be responsible for the kids – and took care of them.
What I believe I failed at – early on – was being Me.
I had been a follower, a people pleaser and non-confrontational person. I went along to get along – without a thought of what it cost me.
I lost me.
I never knew me.
Until all the structures around me fell and I was left alone with a body and this present moment in time – and yet still a mother.
I believe I mothered me – into being who I am today.
And in doing so, became the mother I needed.
During the process I found a woman I loved.
She was a much better mother.
She wasn't loved by all or even respected – but she was by Me.
I loved her for her strength, courage and willingness to do hard things – to break patterns and cycles that were hurtful.
I loved Me.
I was proud of who I had become and the kind of mother too.
What want most for my kids and grandkids is for them to be themselves, however that represents itself.
To be able to express their feelings, their emotions, their truth and love in ways that always honors who they are.
I know in the past – in the olden days of me growing up – children were often just extensions of their parents.
The parents had more to say about the child's life than the child itself. We often had to adhere to their wishes in order to be loved.
I am hopeful that the more women are fully owning their own sovereignty – children will be able to be who they were born to be – without having to look away from what they want – to please a parent.
Many parents feel it is their duty to have their kids follow in the same footprints, to be of the same religion and hold the same values and core beliefs. These ideals leave very little room for a child to be themselves. To be curious about the world and who they are.
Today my ideal mother is one who lives life unabashedly herself – who shows her children the freedom of being unique and authentic to your own inner voice. A woman who isn't afraid to stand out and alone – one who is open to living life in ways that disturb others – but brings her love, peace and joy.
A great mother is one who is at peace with her life and wants others to find their own way.
A woman who loves without conditions – allowing others to just be who they are right now.
Mothering is much harder when you are trying to bend another person to be who they are not.
Mothering is much easier when you are their cheerleader and only want what they want.
Mothering a child – is successful when a child loves who they are and feel seen, heard and understood.
A loving mother changes the world.
And, we come in all sizes and shapes.
There is no one perfect mother.
There are only imperfect woman who love themselves – in spite of how they stumbled along the way.
The depth of our self love is what we pass on.
Mother yourself with love.
I M Perfect lady 
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