Category: Art & Quilts

As I continue to think about the 'control' patterns of life and being on the edge of space, it amazes me, that we actually believe we can control anything.

Whether it be the perfect outcome of a quilt, or life.

In fact, the block in a quilt that turns out funky, is called the humility block.

A way to embrace our imperfections OR to separate us from being too full of ourselves.

The later is how I was raised in the church, that we were flawed beings.

So, if I step back and look at the overview of Art, life and quilting, I can see the contrasts of these two beliefs.

For 46 years I believed I was flawed, broken and innately damaged. That the core of my being was evil, and that if I believed correctly, I would be saved when I die.  That I alone, was not enough.

Seeing life through my worthless being was difficult at best.  

What is so odd about this belief system, is that while being taught we are bad, we are asked to be perfect. The juxtaposition is mind blowing.

How can you sashay with confidence while feeling so twisted?

So, once I lost my religion, discovered my abuse, I saw myself with new eyes.

I saw that my imperfections were perfect.

My lens cleared.

I could sashay with great intentions.  It was enough to be Me.

There was nothing you could add or take away to make me a better piece of art.

Back to patterns.  I believe the patterns, systems etc of the world, allow us to feel whole(er).

That without significance guidance and rules, we would run amok.

And I love how we feel that if we plan, or do, or believe correctly, we will have the perfect ending.

Who are we???

How is it possible to predict the unpredictable.

We can if you will be selective with our responses, but we cannot orchestrate life.

Living in patterns creates a sense of controlling the uncontrollable.

We are trying to put the fluid universe into our structure of beliefs.

Like herding randomness.

I was a good pattern follower. I believed IF I lived right, then the world would be right.

I didn't factor in human behavior of others.

I hadn't prepared for my truths, let alone theirs.

The old religious system, systematically overrode reality – and I followed eagerly.

I heard in a book yesterday, about lies.

That when you discover the truth, you don't lose the lie, for lies are worthless.

This is exactly how I felt about losing my faith and even, on some level the individuals in my family.  We were living lies.

Perhaps what I lost most, was the 'planned future'.

I no longer lived fully ensconced in beliefs.

Or, my belief is loving the unknown and believing reality 100% of the time.

I am not interested in gathering lies.

My life is the humility block. I embrace that which appears to be off.

I am no longer interested in striving for perfection.

Perfection was a lie that ruined so much joy.

Patterns didn't save me.

Art and living in the present reality is to rest in peace while living.

I submitted my artwork "My Lady and I" to the Peter White Library for a Gallery Showing.

I WAS ACCEPTED!  

Seriously excited!!

It says,

"On behalf of Peter White Public Library Arts Committee, Congratulations!

Your artwork has been scheduled for exhibition at the Peter White Public Library in 2020. The Committee focused on presenting a range of artistic skill and media to our community. We are pleased to have your work on display this year."

EXHIBIT TITLE: My Lady and I

EXHIBIT TIMING: April – May 2020

Gallery: Huron Mountain Club Gallery

This is one of the quilts that will be on display!  I love the progression of my art and I love the early works!!

I am thrilled beyond thrilled that they chose what I call my story line quilts: My Lady and I.

These quilts have great meaning to me. 

They truly are my journey in fabric, of art therapy and healing from sexual abuse.

The quilts at the moment are on display at Copper Country Mental Health – so they will be traveling next year!

And, I love that they chose April and May, for those months are for Sexual Assault Awareness and Mental Health Awareness months.

So fitting.

So exciting.

I am looking towards my retirement years and can picture me doing classes in fancy places and not so fancy places, on traveling and sharing my story and my art. In order to do this, I have to start being the artist. Perhaps I will see if I can do a class in Marquette during the time they are on display.  

I love that I have something on the Calendar for 2020!

When I thought of the woman who passed away from our Art Quilt Group, I wasn't fully aware of what she gave me.  How this group was the pattern that I followed for WIND – Women In New Directions.

One of the key components to WIND, was that there would be women mentors, that we would have someone who walked our journey ahead of us. Someone to give us courage, wise words, humor and plain life experiences. A place to gather for mutual interests, and let friendships form and flow within the circle.

What I gained from the women of the Art Quilt Group, was beyond fabric and ideas. 

I was able to see women who mothered in a wholesome way, who grandmothered, in ways that would celebrate and honor your child, and their child.

In times when my world was colliding with sorrow and grief, I was able to see women with life scars living in joy.

I can't know when this group started for sure, I am thinking it was in 2004 and even 2003. Early on in my dabbling in Art Quilts.  And, I was seeking others who didn't follow patterns, and who wanted to step out of the typical box of traditional quilts.

Not only did I find women who were quilting in new ways, they were also living life by their own rules. Rules of uniqueness and individuality. Again, our group's strength was its diversity.

This was my pattern for WIND.

To gather women who would meet for creativity.  It was my belief, that as we create artful pieces, we express who we are.

And, within the group friendships are formed and we lean on each other in times of need. Sometimes we mentor, and at others we are mentored. 

What was so impactful for me about the Art Quilt Group, was the individuals who shared with me their lives, their pain and in doing so made me feel that I would be okay.

They had lived longer, were further ahead on the journey. 

They became mothers to me.

Putting life into perspective and allowing me to sit in hope and confidence, and that growing often happens through painful choices.

The woman who passed away holds a special place in my heart. Her quiet knowing that things will all work out, had me believing before evidence would show up. She gave me a glimpse of what it would be like to have a mother who as present. She was more a mother than my own.  There with me in my darkest times lending her ear and understanding.  She brought her whole self to our group and shared it generously.

Perhaps we intuitively model the women we surround ourselves with. They give us courage and wisdom to live life to our fullest. And dare to be ourselves boldly.

I will remember what she contributed to the Art Quilt Group, and then how that flowed into WIND.  

Her smiles, encouragement, insightful views, presence, friendship, kindness, quiet joy, delight…

Her legacy lives on.

Photo by Ann Sandberg

It was 13 plus years ago, that I began an Art Quilt Group; a group of women who gathered around to inspire each other to become fiber artists.  It has since included other forms of art, and we still meet once a month. Most of the original group still attends.

Yesterday we lost a member who I met for the first time, at our first meeting. We connected immediately, for she knew my aunt, and it gave us familiarity.

She was my opposite in Art. She was a precision seamstress. Her stitches, seams, corners, and choices of fabric was impeccable. She loved working patterns that required attention to detail and design.  The more intricate and complex, the more she loved to engage in the pattern.

She mainly sewed for her family, and love was stitched into the details, the thoughtfulness of pattern, and need.

She has a granddaughter who was gifted so many delightful things. Her thoughts were always for the receiver. What would delight and make their lives better. Her imagination was incredible, in what she would design and sew!

She was also a woman of quiet wisdom. Her life was like her art. She put so much of her into everything she did. Love truly is in the details! 

In our meetings, we would often share parts of our lives, or most (Me) and I will treasure her words and thoughts about being a mother and grandmother.

She had a knowing, that if you lived your life with intention and integrity, that life will resound in the same.

In times of worry, she had the right words to ease an aching heart and lean you towards hope. She is my mentor on so many levels. 

As I skied on the Tolkien Trails a few weeks ago, I did so in honor of her. She loved to be outside with her husband and dog. And these trails were her favorite. Mine too.

There is so much to remember about her, she lived of life of great purposefulness. Everything she did, she did with awareness of its impact. No detail too small to be missed.

My life is much better because I met you.

May you soar now with all the love your heart carried.

Our small group will feel your absence, and each of us will now have to rise into what you have taught us.

I love you.

I will carry with me so many memories.

I am better because of you.

Photo by Ann Sandberg

When I arrived at my latest Quilt Meeting, I brought my most recent work of art and across the table from where I was sitting, on a shelf, was my book.  (We meet in the Library in town.)

Looking at my earliest Ladies compared to my last, there is a striking difference; a body has emerged.

I love my first ladies, even if they were mostly clothes.

The discussion was interesting, when a women spoke of a theater production she had attended, of a war.  On stage there was one side of actual people and the other side was just clothing.  The clothing was empty and when struck by the real people would sway, move and become animated.

This brought the discussion to how much more we expect when there is more form, if you will, to art.

When I was creating with ribbon and yarn for arms and legs, I was much freer and a lot less critical.

I didn't expect much from the yarn.  And, in the beginning, I actually let the yarn flow as it would, when I laid it down.  I wasn't even trying to mimic the actual effect of a leg.

And, the viewer filled in what was missing.  

We were co-creators.

Now, when I have a full body, I am expecting much more real looking ladies.

The first ladies were whimsical, and could be art without reality.

As my lady started to become more active or have more adventures, I began to add more and more to her form, besides the clothing.

And, I also believed or made a rule up, that my ladies had to keep going in one direction – fuller.

More real.

More life like.

And, I have enjoyed having faceless ladies and even felt a slight panic, once I made a neck, that soon, I would have to try and make faces.

I didn't feel like I had the option of going back to the yarn arms, it felt like I was cheating somehow, or backsliding.

I am pretty sure art has no rules.

I am eager to now play with my ladies and let them be.  

Somedays, it does feel too heavy to create lifelike features; it is so much easier to be whimsical and free spirited!

I think the rules of life were getting in front of my Art.

Making me believe that there are certain criteria the longer I am an artist.

Instead, I forgot to remember, that as the artist, I have the license to free expression.

The spirit of my lady is to be empowered, free and full of free expression and now so too will my art be.

I feel like a narrow passage has now been open to flow going in all directions.

Free will in my art will be a game changer.  

I am no longer bound by made up rules that my mind thought of.

My art is now freer from my mind.

 I must remember to question my mind, always.

Especially in Art.

Art – "the expression or application of human creative skill and imagination, typically in a visual form."

My Lady, is the expression of empowerment, self-expression, free, joy, adventure, a life evolving and I now have access to all her many facets!  

Moksha – Being released from the  cycle of rebirth!

Art moves as it wants – without the expectations of the artist.