Well, this morning as my eyes opened, anxiety flew in, and a dream I had just completed left me unsteady. I was dreaming, my childhood friend (who also was abused by my father), her and I were discussing whether to leave early or stay.
I wanted to go and she wanted to stay. I felt anxious to be going trying to convince her and distressed about staying.
I didn’t like the fact that this particular dream ‘happened’ to be in my subconscious after yesterday’s yoga.
Letting the dream go, I breathed deeply, gathered up my yoga clothes and strength, with my inner determination I walked towards my fear and my basement.
Insides shaky, I began, not knowing what was heading my way.
In the standing postures, the same sensation of air going into my left brain was there in most of the standing postures, which was odd, for it used to be in just a few.
I had told myself to just go with the sensation to not fight it. So I guess it felt free to arise and often.
I wasn’t going to stop doing yoga, so the only thing left was to continue on, no matter come what may.
Yet each posture was strong, my body and I stayed together, and the breath kept us in balance and controlled, the sensation was secondary off to the side.
As I dropped my leg on the last standing posture I said, “Thank you body, we did it!”
And tears began to flow, again.
But this time, they were in triumph, and they didn’t last long, for my body and I then went into the floor poses.
It came to me that the standing poses may be for mental fortitude, while the floor ones are for emotional wellness, and doing both will strengthen the body to have the power to deal with whatever comes our way.
I feel deeply joined with my body.
I have over the past few years found a nice connection, but this one just cemented a deeper trust, that I am not alone, and no matter where I am asked to go, my body will come with me, always being able to express what needs to be expressed and strong enough to endure.
My body is a wise lady and I trust that she and I will be okay, as long as we stay in the now, feel what is, and breathe.
I love my Lady.
I M Perfect lady 