During yoga today I wondered about the difference between self-respect and the respect of others. So I went ahead and looked up the meanings.
Self-Respect.
proper respect for oneself and one's worth as a person.
Respect.
1. esteem: a feeling or attitude of admiration and deference toward somebody or something.
I had to look up the word ‘deference’ and here is what I found.
noun. Submission or courteous yielding to the opinion, wishes, or judgment of another. Courteous respect. See synonyms at honor.
Correct me if I am wrong, but is this meaning of Respect saying that I am to yield to their opinion and wishes when they are different than mine?
That to hand out respect is to be dismissive to my own feelings and experience?
This seems like a fancy word for lying.
It seems counterintuitive to my own sense of self-respect to yield submissively in a courteous way to allow their opinions and judgments to trump mine.
I practiced this type of respect for 46 years, being courteous to my parents, being submissive and yielding to them, while it eroded away my own self worth and respect.
I no longer wish to play the game respect, to honor the other when there is nothing there to honor.
My own sense of self-respect is the freedom to no longer be submissive, courteous and yielding to another’s wishes, but instead be free honoring who they really are.
I am very pleased that I no longer respect another’s wishes above mine.
This meaning of respect leaves you powerless and without worth. So, if you want self-respect, respect your self first!
“Self-respect cannot be hunted. It cannot be purchased. It is never for sale. It cannot be fabricated out of public relations. It comes to us when we are alone, in quiet moments, in quiet places, when we suddenly realize that, knowing the good, we have done it; knowing the beautiful, we have served it; knowing the truth we have spoken it.”
Whitney Griswold
I M Perfect lady 