I have been trying to find a clear picture in order to illustrate the mindset of group mentality and how it feels when you leave and turn independent…
I was raised in a family of 14, there was no room for individual requests, needs or special treatment, you got what the rest got and that was that, one size fits all.
I was also raised in a church that also didn’t cater to individual needs, but rather had a way in which we had to adhere to or conform with, it was best to blend in, to look alike and act alike.
And within these groups were other smaller groups, but rarely was there individuality or separateness or God forbid special uniqueness, we all marched forward as one.
The sins grouped together like the congregations…all were equal because they belonged to a group.
Grouping is the way of Groups. There is comfort in bunches of things.
Raised to lump things together leads to never looking closely at what is inside the group, but instead you have intent stares at what sticks out.
The poking stuff, the non conforming things, the things that don’t match or fit together, the odd pieces that don’t belong…these things are pushed away and are made to feel unwelcome, not part of and may even be seen as threatening to the group…and in defense for the sovereignty of the group will be shunned.
I had to look up the word Sovereignty to make sure it fit what I was trying to say.
independence: the right to self-government without interference from outside
Oh, it fits perfectly.
The shunning feels personal when you are the one who is doing things against the beat of the group drum, but what I can see now, is that the shunning is to preserve the groups rights of self government…THEY truly do NOT want INTERFERENCE from the outside.
Any thought or idea that interferes with its history or traditions…is an enemy of the group.
It will be seen as interference against the group, seen as a traitor or family wrecker.
They are so busy defending their group; they fail to notice what their group is made up of.
My family defended FAMILY, against all enemies foreign or domestic, truthful or not, what matters most is that damn family must stick together, always. Anyone, sister or daughter, son or brother who stands against it must be shunned…for family matters. The group. The group no matter what it is made up of matters, the lump sticks together as a bunch…Even my father’s molesting ways would not tear the bunch apart…And I was actually seen as worse than him for daring to suggest that the family they were hanging so tightly to, was filled with abuse, not love. Incredible as it seems, the worst sin of all is to dispute the group.
I M Perfect lady 