I have watched the future steal my today, the tomorrows weighing heavy upon this now moment, grabbing this energy for its use, sucking out of my life my life.
I was going along adjusting and accepting the role of a working girl, doing my five days with a sprinkle of unhappiness, but for the most part well adjusted working girl, getting up and going in, doing my deal, and then they changed the rules.
The job now will require me to give up one more day every other week, and I keep focusing on what I am giving up…and will have to switch and find the gifts this brings, find the place of good change, not just bad.
It is forcing me to see the weight of the household needs balanced against the time I have, with a counter balance of playtime.
If I didn’t want or need or enjoy playtime, I am thinking this schedule of work and then house work would be fine. In fact this is a perfect life for those who love to lose themselves in their work. The old me would have been thrilled by this new routine…the perfect martyr life.
But a new me lives within me now and she is not thrilled by this latest development and is challenged to now be more vocal and demanding.
What the old me used to do, was to take in new changes and absorb them alone, not letting them impact those around me, like a shock absorber, allowing their rides to continue on a smooth trip while mine was very bumpy.
It will be up to me to not absorb more work and less play.
Instead of taking this on alone, my household will feel jostled as I work more.
I fight the selfish connotations inside of me as wrestle for playtime while turning my back on ‘responsibilities’ within the house, the usual sparing partners vying for my attention.
Finding this new balance will take some time. And if I allow others to share this new burden, the burden itself will feel lighter.
It is best for me to give up being a shock absorber and instead be a passenger in a car of six, all going over the same road.
We will all have to make some concessions and adjustments with this new change. I guess if you don’t go with the flow you get left working against what is.
This is our new reality…change requires change in behavior.
It is up to us to hold on tight to our priorities…play in equal balance to work is where my intentions lie…by setting my intentions, I can focus on fitting in enough play…so if one more work day was added, I can see more play has to be as well.
Instead of gaining 26 days of work a year, I now will have to add 26 days worth of playtime. The harder I work the harder I will have to play to keep the scales balanced.
I M Perfect lady 