“What is your motive for Telling…” is a phrase that lends it self to much debate. The simple fact that a child is then put in a position of feeling ‘bad’ for squealing stops many from coming forth.
No one wants to be a squealer.
Squealing is seen and incurred as to being weak or bad and that you should not say anything, IF you don’t have anything kind to say…
It is seen as soiling someone’s reputation.
How is it that the squealer is the one who is in charge of that? Surely it wasn’t the little girl’s fault that in Telling on Ray, he would then be made to ‘look bad’.
He was bad each moment he forcibly made a girl touch him.
She was telling to stop an action, she wasn’t concerned how it looks or how it would fit into others lives. She just wanted it to stop.
In order for things to stop, reputations will change color, past ideals of a person will take on a new tone, lives and relationships will hang in the balance, things will not go on as “Normal”.
For now an abnormal behavior has entered in.
Insanity ensues if you continue to act normal when abnormal walks and talks in your world and you don’t tell or pay attention to it, to see it like it is.
It seems preposterous that you would carry on life as usual with this oddity in your midst, that you would pretend to pretend to pretend that there is nothing amiss, that you would try harder to be normal instead of addressing the abnormal behavior.
But take it from me, we do.
In fact, in home this was not abnormal, but normal. I come from a long line of sexual abuse…and the way they treated it was to do nothing, but carry on as usual.
When the adults in my childhood life didn’t see abnormal, I then became abnormal. I had to become abnormal to fit in.
What I had thought was that only our home acted abnormal to normal abuse, but come to find out there is a sea of people willing to sweep abnormal under the rug to keep up with their normal lives, normal religions, normal families, normal marriages, normal relationships.
It isn’t abuse that is the problem, but holding on to normal.
Holding on to normal, all will discount, overlook, and under react in order to keep their own normal lives.
What is so incredulous to me is that they hang on to normal in their minds only. For abnormal has now come to live with them and the longer they don’t see abnormal, the more abnormal becomes their family.
I lived and learned that abnormal was the normal way to be.
How grateful and blessed I am, that I was finally able to see that what I had stood for and championed was not normal. What a gift to see my abnormalities.
Most are not given this awareness. I am speaking out and shouting out and pointing out what others are failing to see.
Since I lived for 46 years believing I had a ‘normal’ family but that I was abnormal, I want to share my experience. I am not a squealer, but a person who is telling to help stop abuse…for people to start seeing that what they think or want to believe is normal is so abnormal.
Being raised in abnormal it is hard to know normal.
Sometimes doing the complete opposite of what you were taught will bring in normal results.
I M Perfect lady 