In reading, “A Course in Weight Loss” by Marianne Williamson, it came to me how we are so untruthful with our feelings, so neglectful, so mean, how we run away ducking and hiding, how the planet at large doesn’t like to see sad feelings.
Feelings of grief or despair, feelings that lower the energies within, a dark foreboding feeling, the feelings that maybe we are not one with reality.
It seems that at least in my house, we were to skip over reality and that alone was the cause of most dark feelings.
I am thinking, and I may be wrong, but that when you walk hand in hand with reality, you will be less sad, if you are not wanting things to be different.
It is the wanting to change what can’t be changed that brings sadness.
To not be who you are.
When there is a separation between what is and what you want, that the most suffering happens.
When you surrender in agreement and sit with what is, although you feel sad to let your dream go, eventually you will see the peace of being in sync with the Universe.
My greatest sadness was that I didn’t have a dad.
It wasn’t that I had a pedophile.
Once I got over the fact that I couldn’t have a dad, when I accepted I was a girl without a man who could be a dad dad, I was much more content and at peace, I was no longer fighting reality.
To me, when you feel deep sadness I wonder if you are in a place of wishful thinking, mad dreaming, reality changing, if you are struggling hard with acceptance.
Sadness has a message.
What is it saying?
To me I have lots of sorrow escaping in yoga, past sorrows, past dreams and expectations that never came to bear. Even new sadness comes in along with a future dream, which can be no more.
Some of my sadness that escapes in yoga is the little girl finally telling me where I hadn’t been with her.
Where she was left alone while I dreamed on.
Where she was in reality and I escaped.
Tears flow of rejoining, connecting and being one.
I stay with my feelings now and find them very enlightening no matter how dark and confusing and restricting, for underneath the tangled mess is a part of me that has been lost and unfelt and needs to be tended to.
All feelings are signals, which steer you to live authentically as you.
They are not about the other person, the feelings are specifically made for you, they are your prized possessions, they are what makes you you.
When you stand with your feelings, you are standing up for you.
When you cover them up, you are pretending to be someone else.
My feelings are me.