Names. What does a name mean? You call someone by their name, or even by their title. What does that mean? What does that really tell you about a person, and what does it cover up?
A name covers things up? That seems weird? Can you hide behind a name? Can you use it as a mask? What does a Mask cover? How do you know there is a mask, can you ask, can you peek, will they tell you? Do other adults warn you?
In the Native American way, they name people, such as Run Fast.
And you could pretty much know what that person was Know for. They don’t have names like Slow Walker for someone who runs fast. And I wonder if they ever name the baby wrong and have a new renaming ceremony.
When my son was little, he and his cousin seen a huge man trying to wiggle into a booth at Burger King….and they both were amazed and said “do you think he will fit?” of course in a voice that carried far and wide! As a mom, my first instinct is to protect the Man and tell the boys, you don’t say that, and in fact I did. I also remember these big brown eyes look at me and say plainly, Why? It seemed goofy to them?
Think of how we go around and label things correctly for them.
A tree. The sun. A house. The easy and plain things, but get us into an area we feel uncomfortable in….and we start to disguise, twist, sortakinda name it. Hoping that they will not discover our lies.
Now bring this into abuse?
What I would like to see is the opposite happening and teach all children to be ok with proper naming of actions….sorta like the Native Americans. Or see all adults being true.
Maybe in one day a person gets many names.
In the past four years, I began noticing I no longer called or seen myself as just one role, mom.
I would say “cooker girl”…when cooking.
I called myself by what I was doing, not who I was.
It sounded almost childlike, but I couldn’t stop myself.
If you go to www.messyguru.typepad.com you can see what I mean.
However, I will warn you right now, this is a dialogue between an abused boy and what he calls his editor.
The editor is the one who refused to see what is, now and back then.
Maybe you could also call him, Mr. Denial.
It is with the greatest respect that I enter his site.
He and I are very much the opposites. While he remembered everything, my mind forgot it all.
I was literally blasted into reality with a mind full of wrong information. It seemed a Mental Lady in reality for so much I had wrong.
Abuse lives in the mind.
The body holds the truth, but the mind controls our lives.
An abused mind is the hardest thing to make right.
I had said, “It is literally like being lost, trying to find yourself and you don’t even know your missing, or what in the Hell you look like. “ Where do you begin?
The courage it takes to willingly go into a mental mind and sort things out, is an adventure I wouldn’t wish on a soul.
The greatest tool an abused person has is REALITY, Period.
Without reality we are lost forever.
We must go back to the seed of the abuse to see where we got it wrong and speak to denial to get it right, to argue to challenge to use our grownup big words this time. For when the initial abuse happened, you can be sure we were left alone in our minds without adult supervision.
Reality what a Blessed place to be!
Reality or Denial, Pick one.
I M Perfect lady 