I M Perfect lady

Tag: Universe

  • Words to My Experience.

    In the past seven years I have doubted and felt awkward with my new sense of awareness, of being able to discern my truth, while others it seemed were most intent on hiding theirs; I was undressing my truth like a stripper.

    Once you have awareness, it doesn't leave you.  You can choose not to use it, but it remains inside of you. You now have a sixth sense about you.  You see and feel deeper, and have a knowing that can't be set aside.

    What I didn't know was how I had it and others appeared not to have it.  How it came to me in the middle of a trauma that shattered my whole world.  How my perceptions seemed so completely off compared to others.  I no longer could fit into my old way of thinking and past relationships.  Something seismic had happened.

    I am reading a book by Gary Zukav, "Spiritual Partnership: The Journey to Authentic Power, and he writes about my experience.

    "This is a book about change, the biggest change possible or imaginable – change bigger than the discovery of fire, bigger than the invention of the wheel, bigger than the origin of cultures, the birth of religions, the rise of nation-states, and the impacts on science. It is bigger than anything that has come before and so big that is not possible to envision what could come after or when."

    "This is a book about possibilities.  Experiences, insights, motivations, and creations beyond our ability to imagine only a few years ago now call to us, beckoning us to new destinations and yet more new possibilities. All is new and fresh, like a blank page awaiting words, a canvas inviting the first brushstroke.  In the past others have glimpsed and sometimes explored, these new possibilities, but now everyone is beginning to see or sense them. We have crossed the threshold and there is no turning back. There is now way to turn back."

    "This book is about power. The old kind of power – the ability to manipulate and control – now produces only violence and destruction. This is a real surprise, because the old power enabled us and our ancestors to survive.  Like good medicine suddenly turned bad, it is now poison.  We used to take it to stay alive.  Now we need to avoid it to stay healthy.  A new kind of power – authentic power – has become the new good medicine, and we need it to become healthy, nurturing and whole."

    "Change, possibilities, and power that we could not have imagined are reshaping the entire human experience.  New values, goals and intentions are everywhere appearing like grass in the spring.  This grass is growing quickly, and where ever it grows beauty appears.  With it comes fields of flowers and vast forests.  A new and surprising world is emerging in new ways and surprising ways.  We are all students in a new school, explorers in new territory, and pioneers in a new human experience."

    "This unprecedented transformation in human experience has two parts.  Process A and Process B.  Process A is happening automatically, so to speak.  No one needs to do anything to make it happen.  Process A is occurring in millions of individuals, and soon Process A will occur in all humans.  Process B is a different story.  It requires Choice.  Specifically, YOU must choose to make Process B happen or it will not happen in you.  Even if others choose to make Process B happen in themselves, Process B will not happin until you choose to make it happen.  In short (1) Process A is happening to everyone, or soon will, and there is nothing you or anyone else can do about it; (2) Process B is happening only to individuals who choose to make it happen in themselves; no one else can make it happen in them; and they cannot make it happen in anyone else."

    "Let's give process A and Process B names. Process A is the expansion of human perception beyond what we can see, hear, taste, touch and smell.  It is a very big deal.  Process A is seeing for yourself that the world is larger than you thought – much larger- and also different than you could have imagined.  Before Process A occurs, your perceptions of the world are confined to what your five senses tell you about it.  After Process A occurs, your five senses continue to tell you about the world and, in addition, you experience more. The "more" is sometimes difficult to describe to individuals who have not yet experienced Process A, but actually millions of individuals have already experienced Process A or are experiencing it and haven't realized it yet."

    "Process A allows you to know things about others that your five senses cannot tell you, for example, that someone is going to call you just before she calls, that your daughter in another city has been in an accident, that your grandparent is passing on, that you should avoid driving until you check the breaks on your car and so on.  In other words, Process A involves intuition in a big way.  Process A also allows you to experience yourself in new ways, for example, as more than your mind and your body. It reveals your life as purposeful like water calls a thirsty man.  Process A allows you to encounter meaning in unexpected ways, for example that everything is perfect or feeling of connection with a stranger. Process A allows you to see from an impersonal perspective. From that perspective, all of your experiences, even the most painful – serve your spiritual development and the spiritual development of those around you.  They provide exactly what you need to develop the strength, compassion, and wisdom to give the gifts that you were born to give."

    "Process A is an expanded awareness that includes not only the perceptual system of the five senses but also a second system that detects intelligence, compassion, and wisdom that are real but not physical.  This system allows you to experience nonphysical reality in many ways including those just mentioned. Process A is multisensory perception.  This is the great transformation in human consciousness that is currently emerging throughout the human species.  Within a few generations, all humans will be multisensory. They will experience not only the domain of space, time and matter, and duality that has been the totality of experience for most humans since the origin of humanity, but also nonphysical domains and dynamics that affect us and that will affect us."

    "This brings us to Process B.  Process B is bringing that new potential that comes with Process A into your life.  Multisensory perception (Process A) changes your perception, but it does not change you.  It shows you things that you could not see before, but it does not make you use your new knowledge.  It illuminates dynamics that you could not see – dynamics that you can apply to change your life and world permanently for the better – but it does not require you to apply them.  It reveals your creative power, but it does not make you create wisely.  On the contrary, you will continue to create as you have in the past until you choose otherwise.  If you are angry, for example, Process A (multisensory perception) will not make you less angry.  It also will not create different consequences for you than acting with anger has created in the past.  People will still avoid you, still be intimidated by you, still refuse to be vulnerable with you, and you will still be isolated, lonely and longing for meaningful relationships, and angry."

    "Process B is experiencing and changing in yourself the interior sources of your painful emotions (such as anger, jealousy, vengefulness and so on), obsessive thoughts (such as judging others or yourself, longing for someone or something to change your life, and so on), compulsive activities (such as workaholism, perfectionism, and so on), and addictive behaviors (such as overeating, smoking, drinking alcohol, using drugs, watching pornography, gambling, and so on).  It is also experiencing and cultivating in yourself the interior sources of your pleasing emotions (such as gratitude, contentment, appreciation, and awe of Life).  In short Process B is creating the fulfilling and joyful life that is calling to you."

    "This takes work, but choosing Process B can produce almost instantaneous results in your life.  In other words, choosing Process B can fundamentally change your life in a very short time. This does not mean that you become a radically different person the first or second time you engage in Process B.  Process B is not that simple or easy.  However, each change that you make in yourself as you engage in Process B is fundamentally transformative. The first change is fundamentally transformative, no matter how small it may appear.  The second change is fundamentally transformative, and so forth.  Process B is incremental.  It happens choice by choice, and each choice that you make moves you in a new direction toward a new and healthy goal – a personality whose experiences are so dramatically different that you cannot always forsee what they will be."

    "Process B requires you to choose words and deeds, moment by moment, that will create joyful and constructive consequences even when painful or violent emotions roar through you. Process B is changing your life with the force of your own will, guided by your own awareness, with intentions that you consciously choose, assisted by the compassion and wisdom of the Universe experienced in personal and meaningful ways.  This transformation is more than change toward a better or more healthy life.  It is transformation toward the highest, most noble, healthy, and grounded part of you.  That is your soul."

    "In other words, Process B is finding and changing all the parts of your personality that do not intend what your soul intends, and finding and cultivating all the parts of your personality that do intend what your soul intends. Your soul intends harmony, cooperation, sharing and reverence for Life.  Each time you create with one of these intentions, you create authentic power – a life of meaning and fulfillment, gratitude, vitality, creativity, and joy.  Process B is creating authentic power."

    "Without Process A (mulitsensory perception) happening to everyone, Process B (creating authentic power) would not be possible for anyone.  Process B is aligning your personality with your soul, but your five sense cannot detect your soul.  The sou is an interesting idea to some five-sensory individuals, but it is not experientially meaningful to any of them.  Now millions of individuals are experiencing multisensory perception (Process A), and they are changing their lives because of it (Process B).  You are experiencing multisensory perception or you would not find this book interesting or valuable.  The ideas in it have no appeal to intellects that are informed by the five senses alone, but they call to all hearts that are informed by multisensory perception.  Multisensory perception and authentic power are the two defining characters of the transformation in human consciousness that is now under way.  The first emerges without effort, affects all perception, and reveals new dimensions of experience.  The second awaits your commitment, courage, compassion, and conscious communication and actions to bring it into your life. The first is a wondrous gift from the Universe.  You must create the second.  Multisensory perception does not impair your choice. Multisensory individuals are as free to pursue external power (the old kind of power) as they are to create authentic power, but the choice to pursue external power now leads only to violence and destruction between individuals (at the least), and physical violence and destruction between religions, cultures, and nations. There are no redeeming benefits to the choice of external power. There are no benefits to it at all."

    "Five sensory humans evolve by surviving.  Multisensory humans evolve by growing spiritually. This dramatic difference requires dramatically different relationships."

    "The new type of relationship for multisensory humans who are evolving through creating authentic power is spiritual partnership.  A spiritual partnership is a partnership between equals for the purpose of spiritual growth.  It attracts multisensory humans who are creating authentic power as much as old-type relationships attracted five-sensory humans who were pursuing external power.  The purpose, nature, and function of spiritual partnerships are different.  The dynamics of spiritual partnerships and the experience that spiritual partnerships cocreate are different.  This new type of relationship is as inseparable from emerging multisensory humans who are creating authentic power as old-type relationships were from five-sensory humans who pursued external power."

    "Creating authentic power requires relationships of substance and depth.  You cannot grow spiritually until you have the courage to enter into meaningful and significant relationships.  In other words, spiritual partnerships are a necessary part of Process B. Every encounter provides you an opportunity to create authentic power, but when your encounters include others who are also using their experiences to create authentic power, the potential for a spiritual partnership comes into being. Potential spiritual partners recognize the commitment, courage, compassion, and conscious communications and actions of one another. They naturally strive to support one another in creating authentic power and to receive the support of one another in creating authentic power.  They journey toward the same goal, recognize fellow travelers, and learn from one another.  Evolution now requires you to create a fulfilling and joyful life – to give the gifts that you were born to give – and spiritual partnerships bring you into cocreative interactions with others who are doing the same."  Gary Zukav

    I now can tell those who are going through the changes and those who are not.  I feel great comfort in reading this, for it puts words to my experience.

     

     

  • A Different Intention

    When you look at life from the soul's perspective and from its Karmic path, you will see the perfection in all things.  Each action will get an opposite and equal reaction, have no fear.

    As the Justice System appears to fail, the Universal system is running perfectly behind it.  Even if you are unaware and not interested in the talk of karma and the dynamics of physics, it still operates without a hitch.  I love that it doesn't need your understanding in order to flow.

    In religion there seems to be the assumption, that we have to know and practice in order to be in a relationship with God, when in fact it is impossible not to be.

    Your life, your choices, your awareness, are all speaking to God.  

    In fact there is not a moment you are not.  Nothing is hidden, nothing goes unseen or felt, it is all recorded, but not in a way to punish, but to give you all that you are asking for with your intentions.

    What you intend, you shall have…what you have done, will be returned to you in kind…complete with the exact feelings you have handed out.

    The wheel of cause and effect is turned by you.

    There is no special prayer to be sent to this Universal system, where you will be spared the just return…once you set an action in motion, it is already on its return trip back to you.

    I had to look up the word intention, so I was clear of it proper meaning.

    "A course of action that one intends to follow.  An aim or plan, a purpose. The state of one's mind at the time one carries out an action."

    The state of one's mind…for some reason, I believed intentions to be more about feelings. But I guess, intentions are more about the mind…or a Knowing.

    This makes sense in my experience, for when I had a confused mind, I was sending out confusing messages to the Universe. 

    My mind's definition were wrong, so the Universe could only send back what I had asked for.  

    It didn't know that I didn't know, and gave me exactly what I intended…it cared not, whether I knew what I was asking for or not.

    If I asked for love, and my definition of love was to lose myself in order to please others, I received others to please and not see me.

    I steered clear of people seeing me, for that meant "not Love".

    Not seeing equals love…so blind folks arrived by the bushel.

    You can pray until your blue in the face to the Universe to send you a warm and loving kind of love, which I sought, I just didn't know that my mind had a huge virus and was flipped around.  The Universe wasn't getting it wrong, I was.

    I had to fix my inner Knowing and definitions and send out a different intention…

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • In This I trust.

    Some interesting things I learned in my talking to the Law and Dial-Help.

    If you go to the hospital and the Doctor suspects or is told it was domestic violence, hitting etc, the Doctor must report this to the Law of the Land.  If you arrive raped or sexually assaulted, no such requirement is in place.

    I find it strange that they are not treated the same…that sexual abuse is seen as different than domestic violence or perhaps just violence. I wonder if this is the same in all cities of the land?

    Perhaps we need to stop calling it sexual abuse, but sexual violence or I would be okay calling it Domestic Violence, if there then was mandatory reporting. 

    With mandatory reporting the law becomes involved…and it leaves a trail…

    Although, I am not so naive to believe that all sexual violence incidents make it to the hospital, so it still leaves a huge gap in reporting…

    Here is something else.  Even if the Detective finds enough evidence to convict someone, the prosecutor has the final world.  He gets to decide whether it will go to trial.  He is also the one who plays with the pleas and bargains.  I am not certain most people understand the power these lawyers have and how often victims long history of abuse, gets boiled down to the lowest conviction and with each level it is reduced to comes a new sentence guideline.  

    The lower he bargains down the lighter the sentence…As in my father's conviction, he was let go to walk free.  And here's the other thing, Usually, there is 'just' one girl's evidence.  In my father's case, there was 9 of us.  HIGHLY unusual, and still, he walked free.  

    It isn't the quality of the evidence, the composure of the victim, or the work of the detective, it is the quality of the prosecutor that swings the doors open so the criminals walk free.

    Most of my trained knowing self has been taught to focus on getting the perpetrator in jail.  Yet, statistics in our town is that very few cases make it to a jury trial, get even litigated, and an even greater percentage don't even get reported.  So my tendency to lean toward the law and the focus on the pedophile, has to switch.

    Bringing to trial or putting in jail, or making the criminal pay, thinking and mind set, has to be surrendered.

    When the facts and experiences of the victim's cases are clearly showing how pointless the old ways are; we have to find a new path.

    Since we have been beating our heads against a system that is clearly showing us IT does not want to work with us, but against us, we have to play a old game in a new way.

    A part of me doesn't want to give up the idea of 'letting' the criminals go, even if that is clearly reality, part of me fights this.  Resists surrendering and letting them win…letting them walk freely.

    It seems so callous to allow pedophiles to roam free….and yet this IS reality.

    They are roaming for a myriad of reasons, one of which is harder to swallow…the law sets them free.

    Somehow my thinking was to get these names with the Laws of the Land, to get these guys off the streets, when the focus in the Courts is to reduce it to nothing and set them free.

    At one point you have to adjust your sails accordingly and admit that you are on the wrong course, you are heading into a worthless direction.

    So, by bypassing the laws and not expecting or caring if pedophiles walk the street, you can then focus on the needs of the victims.

    And ironically the Dial-Help lady and the Detective are already here.

    They don't expect your truth to follow the path to the court house steps.  They are more interested in your wellness and healing, in what you the victim wants. Certainly, if you feel you want to pursue the laws of the land, they will be your advocate.  But, if you just want to sit and share your horrors, they will lend a listening ear.

    My expectations, my trained way of thinking was focused on getting the bad taken care of…and it had me missing this great piece of being open to anything the victim wants.

    Perhaps the latest rash of reduced sentences was for me to see the flimsy structure of the law, so it would no longer be my secure safe place to rely upon.

    I believed in the law of the land.  I believed if they seen the monster of my childhood, they would lock him up.  I believed and felt secure in knowing that they stood firmly and securely on the side of the victim, that they would be my safe zone…that if you got there, all would be well.  It just isn't so.

    I had thought that my father's case was different, due to the fact that there was a FALC prosecutor, but he is the norm.

    For me, I am a slow learner…I have been watching the social experiment of catching and release and not seeing the system as broken.  It is like sport fishing…

    And the fish keep getting put back into society to create yet another victim.  

    Knowing that there is no one to take the bad guys out, leaves you looking at this from a whole new angle.

    Victims are left on their own.  No one is coming to save you…

    Teaching and empowering victims and potential victims has to be the way forward.  

    This is actually what I had to do. For all systems failed me, leaving me with no recourse but to take care of myself.

    In doing for self, no rules are left standing, no expectations or agendas are expected…outside of you.

    Without there being a no fail system in place, you become the no fail system.  You don't fail you.

    You become the law onto your self…they can't keep the bad man away, you stay away from the bad man.  You do yourself justice.

    Just as I had to surrender to the fact that my father walked free, I too have to surrender to the fact that there are and will be now and for always, negative people in the world…we have to live around that.

    We have to live our lives not allowing their influence to influence us.

    I could have gotten left mourning the fact that he got no jail time and without him in prison, I could still be left there wishing it was so.

    I believe I can get used to the free range criminals, for they have always been there.  I guess we kid ourselves into believing All bad men are in prison, and that the 'few' on the street are making their way there, it is only a matter of time.  I believe I will readjust my thinking and live accordingly.

    Live with the fact that there are pedophiles roaming free…and new victims are being born minute by minute.  We will lose the battle for sure if we focus on the open back door of the system and not see the piles of victims and their needs.

    They truly don't need the bad man to be put away…for it is but a fantasy.  And we don't need another fantasy to believe upon, we need something real and dependable.

    What was real and dependable for me was me.

    I had to learn to rely upon me…

    I turned my focus from outside to inside.

    In turning into me, I found that I was connected to a real no fail system, the Universal laws of mankind. 

    The more I began learning about me, the more I seen the connection and how I was the common denominator in all my experiences, that in changing me, my life changed.  

    And that there is an unseen powerful field we are all dancing in…and you can't escape its balancing sheet…there is no open back door to slip through.

    My justice system is the Universe…and it treats us all equally.  

    What you put out will come back to you in kind.

    When I focused on the small dot, I lost the bigger picture.

    Each of the players in the Law of the Land…are feeding a system of just returns…

    In the bigger picture nothing gets lost…

    Our only care and focus has to be very very personal, it can't matter what anyone else is doing, what you do comes back to you.

    You are literally sending messages to the universe with each beat of your heart…each action, belief and thought will find its way back to you…trust in this.

    No mistakes happen in the realm of the Universe…in This I trust.

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  • Impeccable.

    There are laws of the Universe that no religion or man can upset, nor can you alter another's karma in any way.

    It isn't that I subscribe to Eastern Philosophy, but the physics of life are no longer a mystery to me.  Each of us gets our very own wheel that is secure and totally our own, no one can penetrate the delicate balance of your life. Its environment is yours to control and you and you alone set in motion how your life will flow.

    There are people who believe that they have the power to change your life, but they don't.  No one can make or break your world, unless you allow them. Then it is you setting in motion an acceptance of allowing them into your environment.

    You are the gatekeeper of your Karma.  The Ultimate voice, the ironclad defense against all things, no one can step in front of you. Your life is set up perfectly perfect with your agreement.  It is simply impossible for it to happen otherwise.

    No one can play and mess up your karma or even enhance it…it is all left up to you.

    Imagine if this were true…if someones words or wishes could change your world, what mayhem would ensue and how your life would spin out of control in beat of a negative thought directed at you.

    My first 46 years was me not knowing that I controlled my karma, that I was the one who believed that my karma was in the hands of others.

    It was an incredible blow to see that I was the common denominator in all of my life, that nothing happened without me being there and consenting.  Nothing.  I was the one who had orchestrated my life.  I was the one with leaking boundaries or none.  I was the one who had acquiesced my life…there was no one who stood in front of me who had more power in my life than me.

    I had lived my first 46 years in darkness willingly.  I had fed that darkness while shutting out the Light.

    My brother's blog, Ripple in the Water, has a song attached, and a line in the song says, "Darkness has a hunger that is insatiable and Light is a call that is hard to hear."

    That line is so rich with content and meaning and clearly defines the lives of so many.  The sheer hunger of the Darkness that is forever wanting to be fed…against the faint call to the light…that is hard to hear.  

    Even harder to hear is what the Light is telling you….against the gnashing of teeth.  You have to be able to stop feeding your negative energies and turn toward the call of Light.

    Some feel that we can 'forgive' and be kind to the bad behaviors of others and it will change them, it can't.

    All it does is keep us engaged in the dark energies and ignoring our inner Light. 

    I find it so comforting to know that there is nothing I can do to change the lives of others.  Nothing.  It is purely up to them.  My only power lies with me.

    The False Gods will have you believe that we are in charge of others karma and lives, that we can make changes that will affect them long term, we can't.  

    No one can create a better life for you.  No one can live a better life for you, or mutter sayings and affirmations and send angels and good things into your world. It is impossible to get ahead of the laws of physics.  

    We each are one verse alone.

    We sing our own songs. We play our own tunes.  

    No one can interject a verse without our permission. 

    All the people who claim to be healers for you are selling you a false cure.  They can't.  They are claiming to own the powers of the Universe/God…impossible.  No one has more energy or power than the other. We are all created equal into a system that is governed by a law of physics.  

    It isn't a human law or religious law or owned and operated by certain groups and beliefs, it can't be regulated or changed or manipulated and all who believe they have power over you are trying to control your karma and do…when you believe them, it leaves you weak and a victim and them more powerful.

    The term, "Thou shall have no other gods before me…" is, in my opinion, telling us that the laws of the Universe is the one true way.

    Your intentions and feelings are sending out messages to the Universe always…without fail.  Each of us gets equal and just attention from the Universe, have no fear…or have fear depending upon what you are sending out.

    "Ask and ye shall recieve…"  

    One other thing, is if you are screaming at others, angry at others, resentful and rageful, directing your language toward someone, the Universe only picks up that energy and delivers it right back to you.

    Karma works whether you believe it or not…it doesnt' wait for your approval, it just is.  What goes out comes back perfectly and exactly…impeccable.

     

     

     

  • What we sow, we Reap

    As the Justice System continues to fail, we are asked or challenged not to fail reality. 

    The Justice System takes an action and reduces it, like it is a magic maker, like it can take something that was done and undo it a little or a lot, to go easy on the 'first' time offender.  When we can't know that.  It may be the First Time Caught Offender.

    The Justice System we believe is for the victim, that the victim will see her perpetrators 'pay' for what they did, and in the end, nothing happens.  

    We have been told to leave it in the hands of Justice, when the hands of justice are incapable of seeing the crime and staying the course, in fact people have jobs that are based on reducing actions to aggravated assault, in changing a rape to be sentenced like a punch.

    They literally get paid to see that the crime isn't accounted for.

    The Court of the Land is set up to support the offenders, it has them 'innocent' until proven guilty, but does its best to NOT see reality, by reducing and plea bargaining down…in the end it proves them more innocent than guilty.  And while they do this, we the victims remain more guilty and less innocent. We are still damaged no matter what.

    Wouldn't it be nice if the victim could have plea bargained down the crime, to reduce the rape to just a slap on the face?  Wouldn't a slap from a 'friend' hurt just as bad?  We were not given the option then or now.

    I know the parents of the girl and even the parents of one boy, and I am not an objective bystander, for I have great sympathies for the girl…for the one who couldn't reduce her pain to a lesser degree, IT was forced upon her.

    Reality always stands strong in her world.

    What I have learned from walking the walk of Un-Reality that the Justice System guides you on, is that it isn't the final word on these boys or families; the Universe or God balances all slates.

    While the court of the land and those who get paid to turn rape into slaps, feel that they have the power, they have only a surface level power, a false sense of balancing the sheets.

    The Universe pays no never mind to what the court of the land is doing, what the 'Blessings' of the church is doing, the Universe knows the score and can't help but give back to them what they sow.

    We are not responsible for their punishment, it is not our job.

    Each boy has to live with what he did and if he didn't catch the lesson, another one is headed his way.  He may not learn this time, but no worries, his life will teach him in a million ways about what he has done.

    While the father feels rage and wanting to balance the scales, all it would do is add more evil to an already evil situation.  

    What makes more sense to me is to see them for who they are and tell the world.  Act like they are rapists, even if the law wants us to see only aggragated assault, see the rape.  Know that they have energies inside of them that hurts girls.

    We are challenged not to change our minds as the law did.

    We are challenged not to delete away their actions.

    We are challenged to walk in reality and stand with the girl's truth.

    Unlike animals we Force ourselves to not see and not respond to the evil we experienced, to reduce it to a lesser degree and continue on as if nothing has happened.

    What messes most with the psyche and minds of victims IS that life continues on unchanged, when their whole world fell apart.

    We see the law of the land reduce and change and return the boys to a 'normal' life, while clearly their actions are screaming something is wrong with me.

    And there is something wrong with us if we too don't get their message. We too are held responsible for our responses. Are we treating them like hurt people?  Like someone who needs to be removed from society?  Or, will you 'forgive' and see them as normal.

    What another great example of why evil continues on with so many knowing.  There is no one connected to this case that doesn't understand and know that multiple rapes occurred, and yet with money and pleas, and a "No Contest" decree all that happens is 30 days in jail, but AFTER Christmas.

    Did you all know, that "No Contest" means guilty? But there are other added bonus attached…some may be that the Injured Party can't sue for damages etc.

    It is all a word game and exchange of words and sadly the meanings don't follow.  For no matter what you call the action, the action stands unchanged.  You simply can't reduce an action after it already happened.

    Reducing reality is only done in the minds of those who believe it can happen, but it changes nothing in reality. 

    Insanity is believing you can.

    What is so tragic is that the girl gets left with an insane reaction to a real crime.  

    When the law of the land responds this way, what recourse are you left with?

    At some point we will catch on that changing reality with words doesn't work…it isn't supporting the victims, but it works really slick on the offenders.  

    Why do they get a second chance and a clean slate, when she doesn't?  

    She only gets one reality….One Verse of what happened, she isn't allowed to change it.  Nor can we.

    We only can think it different than it was.

    We can each tell a story, but reality moves on unchanged.

    Reality is supported by the power of Universe, never underestimate its balancing sheet, it is impeccable….it is the all seeing and the all knowing.

    All we have to focus on is our own slate…what we sow, we reap.

     

  • All it wants is truth.

    Last night I woke up a few times with very strong feelings between Character and the Situation.
    That most often we blame the situation rather than blame our selves and the lack or the choice of action we took in each situation.
    There seems to be this wide separation in our thought patterns that has us victims of circumstances rather than participants in our lives.
    We don't arrive with Character, but rather over time and through the valleys and mountains in our lives we begin to layer who we are by what we do.
    Oddly enough, we somehow tend to NOT believe who others are, we keep blaming the circumstance rather than the character.
    The circumstance is often times the accumulation of past events coming home to roost, it is not just a wild card that happened into our lives…
    The Universe is the perfect score keeper and it never lets us get away with anything, the 'karma' deal is right on.  We do indeed reap what we sow and the longer we put off harvesting, the bigger the crop we have to tend to when we finally get around to seeing what we planted.
    What I am here to tell you is you can't plant denial and pull up honesty.
    You can't spread seeds of bullying and come up with people who don't fear you.
    How you move in the world echoes back your own energy.  
    Each moment of today is laying the carpet of tomorrow.
    There is no vengeful God or evil Universe, there is just you tossing the ball against the wall of the Universe, you will get back what you put out.
    There are no mistakes. 
    Truth will reflect back truth.
    Deceit will conjure up relationships minus the truth.
    It all begins with you.
    You are the common denominator in all things.  The world truly does revolve around you.
    There are a billion places you can find people behaving badly but all that truly matters in your life is you.
    Victims focus on what others need to do in order for them to find peace.
    You will know you are no longer a victim when you can find peace in the midst of others behaving badly.  
    If my happiness depended upon my mother and father healing, I would be a victim of their lives.  Instead, I put my wellness in my own hands.  I looked in my own life and saw combinations of their dysfunction littered everywhere, and that is where I began.
    In each moment of time, I looked at what I was believing or thinking, and then how I acted….did they match or was I a walking contradiction like them; partly truth and partly fiction?
    Character can survive any situation if all it wants is truth.

  • I faded

    It is so easy to fall out of sight of your self, to disappear and only catch fleeting glimpses through out the day.  It is amazingly easy to not see and pay attention to your inner world and to be present and aware to all things.

     

    When I did yoga each morning I was with myself for an hour and a half.  I was with each breath and focused on my body, and when I stopped doing yoga, I spend very little time paying attention to me.

     

    I miss being with me in such a concentrated healthy way, watching my body become stronger and more flexible, being with the emotions that seemed to flow from my muscles, to gaining balance inside and out.

     

    It has been good as well to see how I seem to disappear from my self while being here, how I can lose sight of my wellness and get lazy…fall back into a sea of apathy.

     

    It’s easier to do nothing…

     

    It takes time, effort and its much more difficult to be on task of being the caretaker of you.

     

    You have to carve up your time each day making sure you take a good chunk for yourself.

     

    I used to do this right away each morning, starting out my day with me in focus, and that set the tone for the rest of the day.

     

    I would then have my best interest front and center.

     

    I am toying with the idea of getting back into the demanding routine of daily yoga.  Perhaps taking one day off each week.

     

    By doing this all things in my life go better; I move better, feel better, sleep better, am much more alert, aware and see clearer…and I am lonesome for that self.

     

    I allowed my self to start fading away, to drift along in the sea of life without really paying attention to where I am going.

     

    Yoga brings me back to me and I feel a greater connection to the Universe…

     

    The wise people are right, you do get what you focus on.

     

    I was not focusing on me and I faded.

     

  • There is a way out.

    While I was learning how to live with my work changes, it came to me, that we can come to peace with things by not doing anything, but perhaps just thinking differently or by looking at someone who has it worse and then sitting back and feeling better, but not actually correcting anything in our own lives.

    That I could actually numb myself to my own life by focusing on someone less fortunate, bypassing my own feelings by being falsely elevated from their lack or worse off situation.

    While it is true, that there are many more lives in worse shape than mine, mine is the only place I live and feel.

    When I talk myself into being okay in my life without making changes, but rather by picking someone who is suffering more, what I am really doing is giving myself the license to not be responsible for my own happiness.

    On one hand I can feel better that someone is worse off and on the other hand, I can ‘blame’ my work for not being able to do this or that.

    I am in a helpless life…and if I keep focusing on what others are doing, the less I focus on what I can do.

    In life things flow in and out, grow and expand as well as shrink and lessen, it is all fluid and if we stand staunchly unchanging, we are victims of life.

    What happens instead is when life changes and we change, we are moving with the flow of life, bending and allowing answering its call.
    Adjustments are needed, not just witnessing of other folks suffering or being in a rougher situation.

    We literally have to make exchanges.

    If you fail to make the exchange, you then allow life to make it for you.

    What is the saying, “when God closes a door he opens a window”…I am thinking we have to find the window; otherwise we sit in a room feeling like there is no way out.

    Knowing that a window is possible, that it will take some creativity and changes on my end, I focus not on the closed door, but turn towards the window.

    The key is to find the window, to turn and look around, seeking answers instead of sitting down helplessly staring at the closed door.

    The closed door will not open and the answers are not to keep banging on the door with angry fists, you have to instead escape through the window rendering the closed door powerless.

    It seems many of us will not change on our own, we need to have doors banged shut in order for us to look for a new insight, or to escape an old routine, to leave old pathways for new adventures, to get out of old jobs where our learning has stopped.

    Some see the closed doors as punishment from the Universe, yet in my experience it was for my own good that the door remained closed and that I had to change in order to move and grow.

    In my experience there are no rooms without windows…for each time a door does close, there is a way out.

  • Spoiled Brat?

    Sarah Ban Breathnach writes in her book, “Moving On,” let’s take a fresh look at the word that saps our strength often:

    Scared.

    “What difference do it make if the thing you scared of is real or not?” wonders Toni Morrison. Fair enough question. Woman have always know how to comfort the fears of others; we just don’t remember to use the same tender, loving, tactics on ourselves. So the next time you feel a random panic attack starting, take a deep breath, and transpose the “a” and the “c” in “scared” and you’ll find not only another word but a world of difference. You’ll uncover the

    Sacred

    Doesn’t that make you feel better already? It works for me, every time. I’d be willing to bet the house that your sacred, like mine, is very close – the walls surrounding you or the floorboards supporting you, even if they need a good scrub. The best definition I ever heard of fear is “False Events Appearing Real.” When I am anxious I notice that my fears seem to be speculative future-tense marauders. Will there be enough? What will I do? How will I cope? The best way I know how to disarm such fear is by keeping a Gratitude Journal. A Gratitude Journal is a polite, daily thank-you note to the Universe- and a reminder to yourself of the very real blessings you have now. In this moment. You know how insulted you are after you’ve knocked yourself out for your kids and all you get in return is surly silence. What am I raising you probably wonder, a bunch of brats? Well, an ancient spiritual axiom teaches us, “As below, so above.”

    Because you’re not spoiled rotten, at the end of every day write down five things or moments you experienced for which to be thankful. Small pauses that brought a smile or a sense of relief during the day. The kindness of somebody holding your place in the post office line when you have a lot of packages to get from the car. The plumber showing up on time. Fitting in to last summer’s shorts. A hug from a friend. A fortune cookie with just the right message. Saying no to a bake sale without guilt. Easily switching carpooling days. Getting an extension on the deadline. Better yet, meeting the deadline, Phew!

    We think it’s the big moments that define our lives – the promotion, the new baby, the renovated kitchen, the wedding. But the narrative of our lives is written in the small, the simple and the common. The overlooked. The discarded. The reclaimed. Life is not made up of minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, or years, but the moments. You must experience each one before you can appreciate it.

    Whether you are chopping carrots, shampooing your hair, writing a memo, making love, talking on the phone, walking the dog, or eating an apple, savor those sensations involved. All of those moments, whether happy, routine, or even painful are Life’s heartbeats.
    Sarah

    In the past six years I have been made to be much more sensitive to each of life’s heartbeats, to feel that which is in reality now, and even how life seems to be lived on a pinhead of time, how it literally is the heartbeat of life.

    This moment, the one we are breathing in is where life happens and to be grateful or even to see all that arrives is overwhelming.

    I love how she says we could be like spoiled brats and not even pay attention to all that the Universe gives us each day.

    Yesterday while delivering mail in the high winds and whiteout conditions, I focused on the black bare roads at times, and was so grateful to see their blackness in midst of swirling white. “Thank you black roads!”

    When you begin to look for things to be grateful for, you will find more and more grateful things.

    I will just watch how I go about my days, how I approach or leave little moments in time, and I a grateful child or a spoiled brat?

  • Leading the Charge in your life?

    Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor wrote in her book, “My Stroke of Insight” that the left side of the brain’s job is to take the least amount of information and weave the most plausible story.

    What is so incredible to me is that most of us live solely on the left side and never once question the storyteller!

    In fact we live life as a storyteller, but not as a reporter of reality.

    The storyteller of our lives can create a fictional life while we are living nonfiction. The left side of our brains has to be our worst enemy.

    It allows us to be in dangerous and painful places by selling us a story that collides with reality.

    To live in unquestioned knowing is to live in the dark of your life.

    My greatest enemy was this storyteller living in my head.

    Dr. Jill also writes about the brain’s two sides.

    “My Right mind is all about the richness of this present moment. It is filled with gratitude for my life and everyone and everything in it. It is content, compassionate, nurturing and eternally optimistic. To my right mind character, there is no judgment of good/bad or right/wrong, so everything exists on a continuum of relativity. It takes things as they are and acknowledges what is in the present. The temperature is cooler today than yesterday. It doesn’t care. Today it will rain. It makes no difference. It may observe that one person is taller than another person, or this person has more money than that person, but these observations are made without judgment. To my right mind, we are all equal members of the human family. My right mind does not perceive or give heed to territories or artificial boundaries like race or religion.

    One of the greatest blessings I received as a result of this hemorrhage is that I had the chance to rejuvenate and strengthen my neurocircuits of innocence and inner joy. Thanks to this stroke, I have become free to explore the world again with childlike curiosity. In the absence of obvious and immediate danger, I feel safe in the world and walk the earth as though it is my backyard. In the consciousness of my right mind, we are laced together as the universal tapestry of human potential and life is good and we are all beautiful just the way we are.

    My right mind character is adventurous, celebrative of abundance, and socially adept. It is sensitive to nonverbal communication, empathic, and accurately decodes emotion. My right mind is open to the eternal flow whereby I exist at one with the Universe. It is the seat of my divine mind, the knower, the wise woman, and the observer. It is my intuition and higher consciousness. My right mind is ever present and gets lost in time.

    One natural function of my right mind is to bring me new insight in this moment so I can update old files that contain outdated information. For example, throughout my childhood I would not eat squash. Thanks to my right hemisphere, I was willing to give squash a second chance and now I love it. Many of us make judgments with our left hemisphere and then are not willing to step to the right (that is into the consciousness of our right hemisphere) for a file update. For many of us, once we have made a decision, then we are attached to that decision forever. I have found that often the last thing a really dominating left hemisphere wants is to share its limited cranial space with an open minded right counterpart!

    My right mind is open to the new possibilities and thinks out of the box. It is not limited by the rules and regulations established by my left mind that created the box. Consequently, my right mind is highly creative in its willingness to try something new. It appreciates that chaos is the first step in the creative process. It is kinesthetic, agile, and loves my body’s ability to move fluidly into the world. It is tuned in to the subtle messages my cells communicate via gut feelings, and it learns through touch and experience.

    My right brain celebrates it freedom in the universe and is not bogged down by my past or fearful of what the future may or may not bring. It honors my life and the health of my cells. And it doesn’t just care about my body; it cares about the fitness of your body, our mental health as a society, and our relationship with Mother Earth.

    The consciousness of our right mind appreciates that every cell in our bodies (except for the red blood cells) contains the exact same molecular genius as the original zygote cell that was created when our mother’s egg cell combined with our father’s sperm cell. My right mind understands that I am the life force of the fifty trillion molecular geniuses crafting my form. (And it burst into song about that on a regular basis!) It understands that we are all connected to one another in an intricate fabric of cosmos, and it enthusiastically marches to the beat of its own drum.

    Freed from all perceptions and boundaries, my right mind proclaims, “I am a part of it all. We are brothers and sisters on this planet. We are here to help make this world a more peaceful and kinder place.” My right mind sees unity among all living entities, and I am hopeful that you are intimately aware of this character within yourself.

    As much as I obviously adore the attitude, openness, and enthusiasm with which my right mind embraces life, my left mind character is equally amazing. Please remember that this is the character I spent the better part of a decade resurrecting. My left mind is responsible for taking all that energy, all the of that information about the present moment, and all of those magnificent possibilities perceived by my right mind, and shaping them into something manageable.

    My left mind is the tool I use to communicate with the external world. Just as my right mind thinks in collages of images, my left mind thinks in language and speaks to me constantly. Through the use of brain chatter, it not only keeps me abreast of my life, but also manifests my identity. Via my left brain language center’s ability to say, “I am,” I become an independent entity separate from the flow. As such, I become a single, a solid, separate from the whole.

    Our left brain is truly one of the finest tools in the universe when it comes to organizing information. My left hemisphere personality takes pride in its ability to categorize, organize, describe, judge and critically analyze absolutely everything. It thrives on constant contemplation and calculation. Regardless of whether or not my mouth is running, my left mind stays busy theorizing, rationalizing, and memorizing. It is a perfectionist and an amazing housekeeper of corporation and home. It constantly says, “everything has a place and everything belongs in its place.” Our right mind character values humanity, while our left mind character concerns itself with finances and economy.

    One the scale of doing, my left mind is a magnificent multi-tasker and loves performing as many functions as it can at the same time. It is a true busy bee and partially measures value by how many things it crosses of my daily to do list. Because it things sequentially, it is great at mechanical manipulation. Its ability to focus on differences and distinguishing characteristics makes it a natural builder.

    My left brain is particularly gifted at identifying patterns. As a result, it is adept at processing large volumes of information quickly. To keep up with life’s experiences in the external world, my left mind processes information remarkably fast much faster than my right hemisphere, which in comparison tends to hoe-de-doe along. At times my left mind may become manic, while my right mind has the potential to become lazy.

    The difference in speed of thought, information processing and output as thought, word and deed, between the two hemispheres, is in part linked to their unique abilities to process different type sensory information. Our right brain perceives the longer wavelengths of light. As a result, the visual perception of our right brain is somewhat blended or softened. The lack of edge perception enables it to focus on the bigger picture of how things relate to one another. Similarly, our right mind tunes in to the lower frequencies of sound that are readily generated by our body gurgles and other natural tones. Consequently, our right mind is biologically designed to readily tune in to our physiology.

    In contrast, our left brain perceives the shorter wavelengths of light, increasing its ability to clearly delineate sharp boundaries. As a result, our left mind is biologically adept at identifying separation lines between adjacent entities. At the same time, our left hemisphere language centers tune in to a higher frequencies of sound, which help them detect, discriminate, and interpret tones commonly associated with verbal language.

    One of the most prominent characteristics of our left brain is its ability to weave stories. This story-teller portion of the our left brain’s language center is specifically designed to make sense of the world outside of us, based upon minimal amounts of information. It functions by taking whatever details it has to work with, and then weaves them together in the form of a story. Most impressively, our left brain is brilliant in its ability to make stuff up, and fill in the blanks when there are gaps in its factual data. In addition, during its process of generating a story line, our left mind is quite the genius in its ability to manufacture alternative scenarios. And if it’s a subject you really feel passionate about, either good or awful, it’s particularly effective at hooking into those circuits of emotion and exhausting all the ‘what if’ possibilities.

    As my left brain language centers recovered and became functional again, I spent a lot of time observing how my storyteller would draw conclusions based on minimal information. For the longest time I found these antics of my storyteller to be rather comical. At least until I realized that my left brain full-heartedly expected the rest of my brain to believe the stories it was making up! Throughout this resurrection of my left mind’s character and skills, it has been extremely important that I retain the understanding that my left brain is doing the best job it can with the information that it has to work with. I need to remember, however, that there are enormous gaps between what I know and what I think I know. I learned that I need to be very wary of my storyteller’s potential for stirring up drama and trauma.

    In the same vein, as my left brain enthusiastically manufactured stories that it promoted as the truth, it had a tendency to be redundant – manifesting loops of thought patterns that reverberated through my mind, over and over again. For many of us, these loops of thought run rampant and we find ourselves habitually imagining devastating possibilities. Unfortunately, as a society we do not teach our children that they need to tend carefully the garden of their minds. Without structure, censorship, or discipline, our thoughts run rampant and automatic. Because we have not learned how to more carefully manage what goes on inside our brains, we remain vulnerable to not only what other people think about us, but also to advertising and or political manipulation.

    The portion of my left mind that I chose not to recover was the part of my left hemisphere character that had the potential to be mean, worry incessantly, or be verbally abusive to either myself or others. Frankly, I just didn’t like the way these attitudes felt physiologically inside my body. My chest felt tight, I could feel my blood pressure rise, and addition, I wanted to leave behind any of my old emotional circuits that automatically stimulated the instant replay of painful memories. I have found life to be too short to be preoccupied with the pain from the past.

    During the process of recovery, I found that the portion of my character that was stubborn, arrogant, sarcastic and/or jealous resided within the ego center of that wounded left brain. This portion of my ego mind held the capacity for me to be a sore loser, hold a grudge, tell lies, and even seek revenge. Reawakening these personality traits was very disturbing to the newly found innocence of my right mind. With lots of effort, I have consciously chosen to recover my left mind’s ego center without giving renewed life to some of those old circuits. Dr. Jill Bolte.

    Left brain, Right brain, which is your dominant side, which one is leading the charge in your life?