I M Perfect lady

Tag: Universe

  • Our Door in the Future…

    I believe the future is only the past again, entered through another gate. ~ Arthur Wing Pinero

    I read this quote a few times and now I believe I understand it, that our karma or our lessons continue until we change how we greet them, they enter back into our lives perhaps in another body or similar relationship.

    Is it possible that how we act today will bring to us this in another gate?

    That if we act in love and awareness, we will greet love and awareness in our future?

    What we sow we reap.

    When we allow others to mistreat us, we will get more folks who want to mistreat.

    It seems the wonderful Universe gives back to us that which we sow without fail.

    The old saying, “God helps those who help themselves…” He waits for us to help ourselves.

    Many will beseech God to help them, to fix them, to do this and that for them, while they are the ones who hold the power.

    I was waiting for people to learn how to treat me better when it was I who had to learn this lesson. And in another gate flowed volumes of folks to teach me how to treat me better.

    They were not different folks, but the same ones coming in as they usually did and it was up to me to stand up and put a stop to the way they were treating me.

    I had to stop using myself to please them.

    I had to start using myself to please me.

    Most of who entered into my gate of now were surprised at this new response, this new me, this new voice and most turned around and left no longer interested in playing this new game with me.

    The new game of fair trade, this equal partnership or freedom to be a sovereign nation co-existing with them, where the boundaries don’t overlap, where we are not holding each other up, but rather supporting each other to be one strong individual unit, was not a game for co-dependents.

    What we do, what we say, how we treat ourselves today will come a knocking on our door in the future.

  • Giving up Control

    I thought this blog was over when I had the realization that my daughter had my unconditional love, that when I hopped on the back of “Mr. Heart is as big as a House, that I completed my journey, that all I had to do was ride along, ducking when the shit hit the fan….

    Nope, that isn’t it at all.

    The second part of my ride has just begun.

    I now know where I have been, what techniques I use for love and how and when to apply them, when I take out my tackle box and get busy.

    It is each and every time a mess arrives and IF the mess is in someone’s life I love, well, get the hell out of the way, I am going in.

    I slip off, okay I jump off the motor bike and leave my world behind, I roll up my sleeves pull out my tongue, engage my mental mind and I am in your business up to my neck, and Mr. Big as a House heart rides alone.

    And here’s the deal when I leave Mr. Big Heart, I leave my own heart, my own love and passion and become stuck in the quick sand of your life.

    That is what I do, Miss Mental Lady loves to play in your lives, your world, and moves around and the more she moves the more stuck she gets, it is indeed like quick sand.

    What I need to do most is close my eyes, shut my mouth, and enjoy the ride.

    If I am riding along and holding on and letting the Universe lead, I cannot be responsible, I cannot just jump into lives unasked, unsolicited…oh my God what a meddlesome woman, an unwelcome intrusion.

    How much can you decide if someone is in there deciding it for you? Who needs a mind if my mental mind is coming to your rescue?

    I know that Michael Brown of the Presence process says, “If you pick someone up, when you put them down, you put them back where you found them.”

    While we think we are saving, we are delaying or stealing their lessons.

    My job, my only job as I can see it now is to hold on to my business, my world, my joy, my love, my life and to gracefully sit silently looking upon my daughters and any other.

    I had said to my mother, “Silence is the kindest thing I can offer…” Silence and a loving heart is the best of me I can offer, if my mind gets involved we are off to the races, the struggle of you running your life or me running your life.

    Pick one.

    If I don’t pick running my life, I have learned nothing.

    I am back.

    I am in my business.

    Whew, another close call…

    I am holding on Universe…here we go!

    I keep forgetting I am not driving! UGH…
    Backseat drivers only annoy whose driving.
    It is best to sit back quietly and enjoy the ride.

    The second part of this blog is me learning to walk the walk
    of giving up control…

  • One Verse

    Life seems to unfold flatly in front of us and some will half close their eyes to bring in a fuzzy sorta kinda picture, so not to see its pure untouched nakedness.

    Raw life.

    Life without words, just life arriving unshackled, free and unbound.

    Reality.

    Worldwide realty show where there is no re-shooting or voice over, just life coming to us live!

    Life coming to us live and in living color!

    Yet how often do we see/hear and get what is playing out in front of us, the untouched version?

    How often do we excuse, dismiss, and let be behaviors due to some long held relationship we feel unable to dissolve?

    How often do we respond authentically to what is actually happening, or do we look the other way?

    When we turn, does the reality show make a sharp left with us?

    Do reality and its history not get recorded due to us blinking instead of responding in kind?

    Sometimes living in raw life I find myself brushing up against people who seem unaware that life is a live living breathing moving event.

    These are not actors, but actual people living life, it is not a rehearsal or a bad game show.

    This is your life.

    This is your moment in time, the here and the now, and each little tiny raw life moment is comprising your life, they all get tagged and stored into your history.

    What you do today is a day in the life of you.

    What you see today and respond to today is a recorded response in the life of you.

    How you respond to raw life builds the character called you.

    We can either work harder on keeping reality back or succumb to the rawness of life.

    Welcoming life exactly as the Universe created it, accepting the darkness as dark, the light as light, love as love, fear as fear…allowing each its own perfection.

    Love as love, not fear.
    Fear as fear, not love.
    Seeing the darkness as dark.

    Seeing the dance of Life as One….The Universe. One Verse.

  • Dance Going On Inside!

    Sight challenged isn’t just for those whose physical eyes have technical problems and hearing challenged isn’t for those who can’t hear sounds.

     

    I am thinking there is a much larger Sense Challenge going on, where most are not connected to their own bodies.

     

    It is amazing when you are connected to your senses how much there is to feel, see and hear.

     

    As I did my yoga on the river yesterday my senses were overrun with sensations a feast so large that you can only sample a little at a time.

     

    My eyes were witness to wildlife along the river banks, to the flies dancing on the river, to those buzzing and landing nearby, to clouds slowly making their way across the sky adjusting their formations as they move along, to floating butterflies coming by to see how my poses were going.

     

    My body felt the heat of the noonday sun, the relief of the gentle breeze, the coolness of the water I sipped, to the uneven ground I stepped upon, to the stretching muscles, the concentrated balance, to aches and sharp pains of a body unaligned, to the relaxed breath in between poses.

     

    My ears picked up the concert of birds singing loudly competing with Bikram’s voice, the distant sound of cars, the loud splashes of the beaver delightfully playing, the wind in the leaves…

     

    And behind all of the senses is a feeling of awareness.

     

    It is the awareness that makes the other senses come alive.

     

    Without awareness the whole orchestration of the Universe goes unnoticed.

     

    The more you see the more you see.

    The more you hear the more you hear.

    The more you feel the more you feel.

     

    Our bodies are used to appreciate the Universe and I believe there is a whole other Universe inside of us.

     

    There is an echoing dance going on inside!

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  • Signature of the Universe.

    "It is possible to live happily in the here and now. So many conditions of happiness are available—more than enough for you to be happy right now. You don't have to run into the future in order to get more." ~  Thich Nhat Hanh

     

     

    Martha Beck asked us, “ To List 20 times when something great happened to you without you having to do much. It puts you in the abundance zone. Feels great, too!”

     

    I can start with seeing a great sunrise, the way the clouds arrange themselves so that when the sun shines upon them they give off a real cool color and glow, to how the river flows and swirls rolling merrily on its way without me pushing or cajoling it along, to the way the grass is changing from dull winter brown to emerald green, to the smell that sheets have when they come in from the clothesline, to the warmth of the dog laying on your toes, to the sunshine warming your shoulders in mid afternoon, to the Easter Lillies being brought from afar to your local store which are now in your home, for all of this I did nothing.

     

    No thing is asked of me, it is simply presented for me to appreciate, and even if I don’t stop along the way to smell the roses, they will offer up to the air a sweet perfume, for that is what they do, unasked they freely express themselves.

     

    Perhaps a better list, is to list the things you did alone, totally alone without help from anyone or anything. 

     

    What do you alone accomplish?

    When are you totally separated from the whole, floating outside of the planet, untouching what the Universe is singing.

     

    I would say try and find a time in each day where you are totally disconnected and floating free of the matrix called the Universe. 

     

    It seems we have constant reminders of the great presence, from the singing of the birds to the gentle breeze, to a friend arriving or sending us a message, it all seems so perfectly orchestrated for me, a huge production working in harmony filling the spaces, so no matter where I look I see a sign.

     

    The signature of the Universe!

     

    074

  • Rest in peace is for the Living.

    My last post was tearing apart the difference between Guilty and Innocence.

     

    It is my belief that you can only pick one of these emotions, you don’t get to be both.

     

    It is nearly impossible to feel the freedom of innocence while walking around with a half- ton weight of guilt inside.

     

    How do you rid yourself of guilt, how does it just simply disappear?

     

    My brother has this huge package that he has been dragging around since he was four. 

     

    I am urging him to let go of the package, yet his hands and mind hold on tighter or so it seems.

     

    His body is having spasms of retching trying to get rid of the feelings of guilt, to the point of no breath and blacking out because of it.

     

    How is this possible, what is the gagging trying to protect?

     

    Inside of him there seems to be this very strong will to be guilty and the desire to be free of it is just as strong.

     

    As I look back at my life, it was a daily battle it seemed to win my life back to snatch it back from the evil who controlled it for so long.

     

    This has to sound insanely insane for those of you who haven’t experience being under the influence of evil.

     

    It seems to be like a drug.

    Under the influence of evil, to be in the grips of guilt, shame and blame, to hold yourself accountable and responsible for things that are beyond your control, is simply insane.

     

    Yet to wrestle your self away from that, is like going against the magnetic pull, going against the vortex of life itself, or so it seems.

     

    To swim up the rapids with your clothes on and the weight of the world is tied to your ankles.

     

    It does leave you breathless.

     

    It seems all currents are going against you, for you can’t clearly see the currents are actually trying to propel you outward and clear of the evil pull.

     

    My brother has a clear understanding why it is that people do drugs, why they commit suicide, why it is that they themselves can’t live consumed by this energy.

     

    He and I can’t seem to find the thread of freedom for him, what will it take to thrust him free and clear of the bonds that have him prisoner in his mind?

     

    The strong hold the mind has on a body leaves me pushed back with a huge amount of respect for it, it is not a tool to deal with lightly.

     

    The mind maybe the root of all evil, not money like it has been reported.

     

    I understand that it is capable of psychic blindness, and it is capable of shielding a person’s innocence of stealing the moments of joy, of thrusting a person into states of total anxiety when nothing in the room warrants that.

     

    The mind. 

     

    Neale Donald Walsh in one of his books said, “In order to experience the Ultimate Reality you have to be out of your mind.

     

    What he doesn’t tell you nor can anyone, is how to get out of your mind.

     

    My mind was controlled by an outer world, it followed without question religions that blessed monsters, and could erase actions with simple words, it had me blind and deaf following along.

     

    What his mind seems to be doing is eclipsing reality or the good reality, it keeps looking for proof of his shame, blame and guilt.  His mind can’t search for innocence.

     

    His mind doesn’t recognize joy.  This is a foreign language to the mad mind.

     

    What breaks that  and allows the Knowing to begin to come from the Right mind?

     

    What gives?  Who has to give up and cry Uncle?

     

    It seems that each of us walk a separate and uniquely designed walk, one that will propel us into our greatness, one that leads us to the depth of hell to find it.

     

    It is said, “your darkness is your divinity.”  I wonder what that really means?

     

    I do recall being so out of control, so lost, so upside down and out of tools to help me, I was simply out of rope to reel myself back in.

     

    I think I let go.

     

    I recall feeling so helpless and hopeless, but surprised I was still alive.

     

    Surprised that when I wasn’t so in control, that life still moved on.

     

    I recall a friend whose husband had died, and she said she lay on the couch and willed herself to go ‘mental’ to just simply fall into an abyss of no longer knowing.

     

    She wanted so bad to no longer know and no longer feel and no longer be, instead a child would cry and she would have to get up and deal.

     

    Life seemed to move her along anyway.

    She wasn’t in control of losing it.

     

    I wonder if my brother would feel better knowing that he wasn’t in control of losing it or not losing it, to simply let the Universe take control.

     

    I remember feeling so vulnerable, but so free to let the Universe tell me how my story would end.

     

    All it asked of me was to do this moment.

    And this moment was all I could concentrate on.

    I couldn’t think ahead.

    I couldn’t feel ahead.

    I didn’t want to know how this would all end, the total package, I didn’t want to be that lonely.

     

    So, I just focused intently on this moment.

    Forcing all thoughts of past and future far back from my mind.

     

    I took control of my present and my mind fell back.

    I sometimes had to scream and cry and fail, but I always struggle and felt I would die trying, but I got back up on the Present.

     

    In each Present there is a gift.

     

    The gift of Now, of being ok, right now, I could not know how long I was going to be ok, but for now I was.

     

    Falling off the wagon of Now.  That is what happens over and over and over again.

     

    I simply would get up, and chase that wagon and get back on.

     

    Over time, my mind understood this was not a battle I would succumb to easily.  I simply would have gone completely and totally insane if I hadn’t had the present moment to keep me anchored.

     

    Whether you feel guilty or innocent, can you at least stand in this moment?

     

    Stand here.

     

    Breathe here.  Be here.  Even with a messy mind, can you stand here?  Don’t try to do more than just stand in this moment of time.  Just this one small moment, then the next small moment, the momentum will carry you forward.

     

    All we really are being asked is can you stand in this moment that is all. 

     

    I guess I left my guilt and my innocence up to the Universe.

    I couldn’t carry it no more.

     

    I just get to experience this moment.

    Just this one for now, all I can handle now are just little tiny pieces of life, just one little moment at a time.

     

    Come join me on this pinhead I call life.

    Where we don’t know what will happen next, what will pop up, what will shine upon us this day.

     

    Climb up and sit, we don’t care if you are guilty or innocent, we just care that you are here.

     

    The Universe and I are waiting for you.

    Will you hop up and sit awhile.

    Sit in this moment of time.

    Just this one little second called life.

     

    Let the Universe breathe for you, let it decide what comes next, all we do is wait on this moment called Now.

     

    For this moment let all your past go, let all your futures be, just take rest in this moment.

     

    Rest in Peace is for the Living.