I will never call you home again.

I just finished watching the webcast, Say You're One of Them with author Uwem Akpan's on Oprah.com  The book has short stories from the view of the child. 

At the end of the webcast is a young man from Rwanda, Corneille, who survived the genocide who was 17 when his whole family was murdered.

He mentions a song, “I will never call you home again’, that he wrote.

I then went to youtube to hear it. 

I understand the sentiment, of how it can not be called or even felt as home, for home depicts a place of warmth, comfort and familiarity, and the last time he saw Rwanda it was mass murder scene, it took from him all his family and every thing he owned.

In the song he sings,  ‘the last time I saw you….and that is how I remember you……Please forgive me I if I never call you home again.”

As I reflect on his lines, I can’t help but replay mine.

The last time I saw my parents, they were not parents, and I can only carry forward my last memory. 

Don’t they say that about restaurants, that they’re only as good as their last meal?

It is so crucial to always remember that we are judge upon our last action, and in the case of my parents, it is his trial, the way he acted, the way she acted.

The last time I saw you, you were in an orange jumpsuit on the front page of the paper, with the words, Criminal Sexual Conduct.  That is how I remember you.

The last time I saw her she was adamant about her rightness about his wrongness, so very right at being so very wrong.  That is how I remember you.

Please forgive me, if I never call you dad again.

Please forgive me, if I never call you mom again.

Please forgive me, if I never call you home again.

I will never call you home again.