I M Perfect lady

I made it 20 days, a third of the way there, and I wish I had rose colored glasses that would allow me to be fooled that there will be magic at 60.

Sixty will just be sixty days; just as twenty days is twenty days. 

I can’t fool myself that this challenge will bring me a new body and life, but rather I know this challenge has gotten me doing what I knew I needed to do, daily.

Yes, I am happy I have 20 days of giving my body what it desperately needed, 20 days where my mind sat in the backseat mumbling weak complaints, 20 days where I focused and gave 110% of my attention to me, it shows me that if you set your intentions, it can happen.

I guess my fear is that I will stop, IF I pay too close attention to the numbers, and not look at me.  Afraid that once I hit the milestone of 60, I will recline in the completion of the challenge, and once again look away from me. 

I see the challenge and I see my body and I see the ramifications of getting too caught up in just completing the challenge. 

I must look beyond, far ahead and have a bigger challenge, a life changing challenge, look at this being a new way of life, not just a detour in a contest of determination. 

In order to have a different life and body, I have to go beyond the sixty days, otherwise my body will relax into itself, again.

Maybe there is fear in knowing what I need to change, but not sure if I have the stamina to keep doing it.

It is like I can see both sides, one is dangling there useless, stiff and hurting, and the other side is free of all of that, but in the middle is the place where the choice is made.

In the middle is where the rubber meets the road, and I stand there each morning when I decide to do yoga or not. 

It is scary and freeing to know that all that stands between fitness and me is Me.

Will I love myself enough to pay attention, to put forth 110% just for me? 

Is twenty days convincing enough, have I gotten in the habit of loving me and paying attention to me?  Do I believe it yet?

How long will this go on and what happens if I stop?  It seems that if I stop, I stop loving me, seeing me, being with me, and revert to my old habits of letting me go.

I guess I am giving my mind fair warning; I am not stopping at 60, for I am just getting started. 

The seeds of self-love, self-care, and self-awareness are being planted; will I have the stamina to continue growing me.