I M Perfect lady

I made no resolutions for this upcoming year; I promised it nothing, hoped on even less, and expect zero from the year…for I now realize it isn't up to a year, an event, a somebody or something to deliver to me that which I desire…it is up to me.

Expecting things from a new year is pretty much hopeless, for the year is waiting on you.

You and only you will make 2012 a year to be remembered.

However you spent last year, you will spend this year, Unless and Until you change that which you are doing, saying and being.

Last year for me was one of great learning, yet on the outside the average person wouldn't have been able to see the inner changes that went on inside.

My letting go on the inside was big.  Letting go of things having to be a certain way or expecting things flowing and following a certain trail…disappeared.  

I had been slowly loosening my grip on controlling things, and last year I was shown clearly how it isn't up to me. 

While it is discerning to stand in a place of No Hope, No Expectations, No Control….it is very freeing. It isn't that I am hopeless, but that I am no longer hoping for things to be different than they are, nor are my expectations exceeding that which the Universe delivers.

I feel that I am closer than ever to being on the thin line of Now…and singing the same words of the Universe; One verse.

Just as I can't expect my body to lose weight without me participating, I can't expect the New Year to improve without me being an active partner.

The year is just a pile of days and how we live each day builds up the flavor of the New Year…and really each moment of every day.

Somehow we overlook this moment in time.

Yet yesterday was the first day we added to the Pile called New Year, what was it full of???  Today is the second helping we are adding, what are you doing today?

The year is of your making…this year is one in your life…Your life is being drawn as you walk through your days.  What you do each day is you.  

Each day you live your authentic truthful self is singing with the Universe…each day you put aside your feelings, and not say what you need to say, is another day given to denial.

We keep thinking denial is a big thing, but it is actually many little moments that go by where we are not ourselves.

We keep expecting the year to deliver to us authenticity, realness, truth, and strength, when it is our choice in each moment of each new year, that decides if our year will actually make a new us.

We somehow see the new year as a clean slate, when actually it is a year of new moments awaiting a new you.  A you that will arrive that will make a new choice.

The only way you will get a new year, is if the you who arrives at each new day is willing to act and speak differently.  

The year follows you…not you it.

We somehow have this all backwards, that you can leap upon the back of a white new year and be totally different, that the year will save you, create a newness that hasn't been part of you prior.

When in fact, just as we wake up to each day and greet each moment of time, we too step into the new year.

It isn't about the year….it is about the You in the year.

You bring all of you to this new year.  All your actions of past sit with you as you sit staring at the new year.

Who did you bring to this new year?

What does she look like and act like?

Is she someone you would want as a friend and trust as a partner?  

We keep looking for the year to change us into someone we may like or even love better, when the year has zero power.

Each of us brings to the year a self…and each of us is the designer and creator of that self.

A successful year to me is one that has required more and more of me and challenged me to be more of myself, not less.  It has shown me places where I didn't arrive, where I denied myself and ducked in order to be 'liked/approved of/or loved.

What I bring to this year, is a me that wants to uncover more aspects of me that are not authentic. I want to live at peace with who I am and love being me…and finding joy along the way.  

Who are you bringing to this New Year?