On Ex-toots blog, she asks the question, "What can we do to try and make it safe to speak up?"
How does a religion create an unsafe environment for victims telling about abuse?
How is it possible that in the land of Jesus, God and the bible, we are not allowed to feel safe? Or at least safe IF we want to speak out about the evil acts and deeds of others?
Is it possible that the fear based teachings have done this?
That when you raise folks based on the fear of God, the fear of doing something different, the fear of elders, the fear, the fear, and fear, that they will then fear going against their abusers?
Surely we can't be surprised that we created the perfect victim…
One who is too afraid to speak up about someone who is in power.
One who has learned to silently give up their rights to their bodies.
What will it take to empower them now?
Will the adults in the church suddenly start giving back their bodies freedom?
Will they allow them to own their hair and finger nails?
Who is going to swing this environment around….will it be adult led or by children?
From what I have experienced and heard, it will not be the adults…
And, the abused (adult) children will have to find empowerment outside of the church, for the church doesn't appreciate self expression, will power, and freedom of speech, or of a person owning their own bodies and minds.
Literally or perhaps they would say figuratively, the church has been their first abuser, by taking away all their rights.
As a victim of both the religion and sexual abuse, I honestly can't tell one being more kind. In fact, the religious abuse appears equally as fake…as my father loving me.
It is like religion has a fake front of God, Love and Jesus, while it is removing all things God is.
If you put the way these religions treat a person and the way an abuser does, you will not find too many contradictions.
Both want you powerless, silently following, pleasing them and forsaking your own truth and feelings.
I feel completely abused by the church and my father, they were equal partners to strip me from being my self.
I could no more fight against my father, than I could rebell against the religion. I no more could protect my fingernails and hair than I could my private parts. I had no power…against either.
My mother brought in religion and my father brought in sexual abuse.
Looking into both, there was no place for a child to feel safe, seen, heard or understood. And, we are asking our children to tell. Tell who?
My mother has yet to HEAR me. She hears sounds, but does not hear.
My father, well I didn't even try to speak to him…his actions clearly said it all.
And, I guess so do those who sit in the pews of these churches, who have given up all their rights, to their bodies and their minds….
We are asking children to "Tell" when for generations of victims…telling will earn you a pass to estrangement. Telling isn't what keeps these families together, allowing and having no boundaries are.
The thing that will tear these families apart IS TELLING.
Perhaps what is mostly safe, is our families in the dark.
Our family is not safe when the truth appears.
The church's faith is not safe when the truth appears.
And the child knows they will not be safe, IF they try and disrupt the 'loving' family and find evil in the church. They are only accepted if they go along…silently untelling.
It isn't about telling of abuse, IT is about telling of the false front it is presenting.
A false family of love and trust and kindness.
A church of high morals and values.
This is what we are not to tear down with soiling both with monsters, tales of abuse, acts of indifference, how forgiveness of sins only works for the pedophiles, and the list goes on and on.
Like my mother always said, "If you dont' have anything nice to say, say NOTHING."
I M Perfect lady 
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