I M Perfect lady


Waiting for the problem to take care of itself!

What I marvel at is the audacity of the human mind to deny reality and excuse it away…how educated people become irrational when reality walks in. I don't truly know what is behind this phenomena, but its maddening to witness.

In a discussion, where evidence in the decline of an elderly's ability to drive, the evidence was set aside…as easy as if this selection of reality wasn't needed.

Instead of sitting with the evidence, other selective pieces of his life was entertained, trying to water down reality…to make the evidence appear less evident.

My suggestions, that the fact that we are even having the conversation about his capabilities to drive…is a clue "something isn't right".

What was fought for was his rights.

What wasn't fought for were the bystanders. The ones who don't know he is compromised behind the wheel.

The Universe is giving them some lead time here, some grace moments…where he hasn't injured anyone, but the clock is running faster now…reality will become bolder….and louder.  Will they hear?

What it seems to me, is that they don't want to be responsible for him driving, but they are unwilling to be responsible for him NOT DRIVING.  For being the one to take away his rights.  

When do we become responsible for others?

When do you intervene in someone else's world?

It seems to me, when someone acts irrational, we the rational have to step in.

What stops us from entering into another's life?  

Some how we have this all backwards, that it is 'bad' to intervene and take away the rights…but, what if his right to drive is the path that leads to injuring or killing someone, wouldn't it be more beneficial to stop the train wreck BEFORE it happens?

How does knowingly doing nothing to prevent injury seem like a better choice?  Or to say, "There are worse drivers out there…".

The lack of taking control and being responsible or jumping into the lives that are out of control amaze me.

To debate the evidence down so that you are not having to do anything….to state all the reasons why this is hard or difficult, isn't a good enough reason.

Why is it that the harder the choices is and the higher the cost, the less likely is it that people move?  

I simply don't get it.

Supposedly, the end result was that they would begin the conversation…and that the best case, is that he would willingly hand over the keys.  Really?  A man with dementia is going to become rational.  

I see the bystanders lose their own rationality…slip out of reality…so it is as if the cloud of dementia settles over them all.

It is entertaining to watch and very maddening to witness…for I keep waiting for a rational mind, a responsible action and someone who dares to step into reality.

The ones who can see it, are to afraid, intimidated to do anything…and the ones who would are not asked or it isn't their place.  

It appears they are waiting for a good time, an opening, a easy road…but don't we all.

Waiting for the problem to take care of itself!

 

 

 

 

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Responses

  1. Carol Cline Avatar
    Carol Cline

    If the driver is in MI you can go on the state website, download a form to submit. The state will then call the driver in for an evaluation. I know down state you can also pay for evaluations. Check through AARP or the local hospital. These evaluations are not cheap but the driver can either be deemed fit to drive or they can be presented with the evidence by professionals why they can’t drive.
    Carol

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  2. beth Jukuri Avatar
    beth Jukuri

    Thanks so Much Carol, I will pass this information on to the Adult Children who are dealing with this issue.
    Perhaps the adult children need to see the evidence, MORE than their father.
    Beth

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  3. beth Jukuri Avatar
    beth Jukuri

    http://www.michigan.gov/sos/0,4670,7-127-1627_8665_9066-23762–,00.html
    This site has information for the State of Michigan.
    And here is one with info about what to look for
    http://www.caregiver.org/caregiver/jsp/content_node.jsp?nodeid=432
    Thanks again Carol. I pass both these links on.

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  4. Carol Cline Avatar
    Carol Cline

    You’re welcome. Sometimes the conversation can be so difficult that it is better coming from the state.

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