I M Perfect lady

Get this book

I received a message on Facebook suggesting a book titled "Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunctional Families….in that I would find lots familiar.  Wow, is there ever.

I am sure there will much I find helpful in sharing!

Here is a sample…

"People of all ages are so afraid of betraying their parents.  Speaking your truth, owning your reality is not an act of betrayal with your parents. There is a betrayal, but the betrayal is with the disease, the disorder, the dysfunction. To not own your reality or to not speak your truth is the ulitmate act of betrayal to yourself."

"When you are speaking about what happened you are owning your losses; you are letting go of the minimizing, rationalizing, and denial.  It is part of rectifying your past. It means you are no longer carrying the baggage that comes with denial. At times adult children have been criticized for blaming their parents. The principles of ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics/dysfunctional families) are not about blame. They are about owning your truth, grieving your losses, and being accountable today for how you live your life."  

"There are two other primary resistances to this recovery process as well.  People want recovery, but they prefer it be pain free. That is understandable, but unfortunately, identifying and feeling our feelings is part of healing.  People are afraid they are too fragile and will fall apart.  Where there is loss there will be tears; where there is loss there will be anger. but feelings are cues and signals to tell you what you need. It is the repression or distorted expression of them that gets people sick or into personal difficulty.  This program will help you learn to tolerate your feelings without hurting yourself or another.  I have been asked many times, does the pain ever go away? I believe the answer is yes."

"Another resistance is people want to heal and live in the present, but they prefer to do it alone. This is often based on rigid self-sufficiency. Self-sufficiency is valued in our culture. The rigidity of self-sufficiency is based on mistrust in others and the fear of letting go of control. When you allow others to be part of your path, that is when it is possible to meet the resistance of fear of feelings. Others will shine the light and offer the hope that we deserve. As adult children we have lived a life of isolation for too long. Recovery is about connection."  ACA

Now, can you see what this is a book that I would stand by….and I am only in it 2% according to the Kindle.  

For all those who want to blame me for blaming our parents or for not getting me, I say get this book.

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Published by

bjukuri

Responses

  1. Earl Redinger Avatar
    Earl Redinger

    To not own your reality and not speak your truth’s. One of the true positive benefits of AA is the session of what happen in our past. You really see how denial is such a strong motivator when folks first begin their sober life. I know this so very well, because I struggled with denial for 17 years of my sober life. How could I, a good Christian boy with all of the proper home life and perfect examples of parents to parrot, end up in an AA meeting at age 36. Part of that story is reflected in yours Beth, and for what it is worth. You will never get your name calling family to accept the truth, because if they ever do, their ability to have everlasting life would NOT exist. The absolute truth and nothing but the truth. We were made mental by a group of folks who took a program that was created by a person to combat the mental illness caused by alchohol. Period. The end, and what we all are is extremely ill from wanting something so bad we have made it real. We spent our life with very ill folks, and these same folks are doomed to spend the rest of their lives in this illness. You can beat this into what ever shape you want, but bottom line. We are ALL mental and the denial is your proof. Earl

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  2. beth Jukuri Avatar
    beth Jukuri

    Earl, have you read this book? We, my brother and I are hoping to start an online (Facebook) group that will read this book and help shed light upon our lives, based on where we came from and how to connect or reconnect with our True Self.
    Thanks for your thoughts and sharing.

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  3. Patti Avatar
    Patti

    I did this unregretably….and the will states….I intentionally exclude my daughter XXXXXXX and do not want her to share in my estate…whatever “dad”…you were an alcoholic abuser all your life and I wouldn’t kiss your butt or accept what you did to others and ME!!!! You had some fooled, not ME!!! I need to read this book…..thanks Beth!!!

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  4. Earl Redinger Avatar
    Earl Redinger

    Thanks for the info Beth, and no I have not read this book, but will thanks to your input. You may include me in any discussion in any form you choose. I would very much prefer the internet with my existing e-mail which I believe you have. I truly believe this is about all we have at this point to get to a sane place in life. All of us had to do this without anyone to share with and isn’t it very special that we have someone who has WALKED in our shoes to talk with and not be looked upon as someone who is a trouble maker. I know that my love of Art is what allowed me to continue and it is this love that allowed your story to so radiate with me. Beth, Denial is the reward that is given to folks who wished to live without truth. This is why the repentence part of the worship service has been so misused that we were a part of. If we deny through repentence that we did NOT commit something than are we NOt denying our existence. Isn’t repentence our outward show that what we did wrong, we want to very much do right? Which I believe is the exact opposite to what is going on with your family.

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  5. beth Jukuri Avatar
    beth Jukuri

    Earl, we are doing a group on Facebook. If you are on there, “Friend” me.
    An interesting view of repentance….and how it deletes what we did.
    I agree, you can’t repent something you did not do. Which is why I know so many knew, for they forgave my father….when he ‘repented’.

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