I M Perfect lady

Life's journey is quite remarkable if you stay with the flow of what is; it is ever changing and oh, the places you will go…and new friends will you meet. 

There were 6 in our group who Hiked over Brockway Mountain to help raise money, and hopefully awareness, to our local Women's Shelter Home. 

It was another place to test my strength.  To walk with stronger women to keep stretching me forward.

The conversations were incredible; we are more alike than we are different.

In each new adventure we gain a part of ourselves, we didn't even know was missing.

The badass part.

the wonder

and open nature of being.

Getting out and about under the power of your own body is very challenging on many levels.

You are daring to try.

Willing to start weaker and grow strong.

As I walked in the rugged forest of the Estivant Pines today, I pondered the metaphor of footfalls.

Where you place your feet and how, and even the quickness of step, all matter.

How we hike, I bet is similar to how live our lives.

I know that where I place my next step matters to the whole hike.  I can't keep my focus other than where my feet will land. 

Do we take such caution in our everyday lives?

Does it matter where you step next?

I could feel the signature of each hiker.

Mine was slower; my pace deliberate…and dictated by the condition of my body.

I wonder if our lives are paced by our minds?

I feel my slower gait slowed down the hike.

Pausing for me to catch up…sights were seen, a breath was taken., 

Am I the pacesetter or the drag?

There seems to be the natural inclination to race.

To see how quickly we can cover the ground.

Slowness isn't favored.

or maybe savored.

Is this how life is too.

We move quickly to get to the next task, next place, next …next and next.

I hike slow and steady.

When I get worried about the distance between me and the second to last hiker, I get sloppy finding footfalls.

I am new at hiking and hiking with others.

I am new at not racing.

My signature hiker pace has to accommodate my stiffening hip and inflamed heel…my age, my wind and my curiosity for artful displays in nature.  My drifting attention to the call of a bird, trickle of water, the rhythm of my steps.

I am trying to find my beat of this new drum I am banging.

I am unsure of my endurance and strength.

An unfamiliar hiker girl to me.

I think in life we tend to take the easy paths, the ones uncluttered with steep inclines or deep drops, and preferably, the ones that don't require much from us. Where we can mindless move without effort. Taking no risks, we can feel safe and comfortable.

I wasn't uncomfortable; but I was aware of my newness to hiking.

I bumped into a person who I hadn't talked to in years.  He didn't recognize me in active wear…for I wasn't a hiker, back then….but, I am now.

This became the weekends mantra.

"I am now".

I also had a parade of my father's victims literally file by as I sat in a bar/restaurant.  Unsettling to say the least.  Their glances linger but a second and quickly adverted to anything but me.

Yet we are the same and so very much different.

They are on the well beaten track of silence.

I, on the loud and jagged course speaking out.

I wonder what it feels like to them to see me?

I see them as a reminder of how far I have come.

I was with women who are in new directions; and they continue in old ones.

I used to be them.  

Now my consciously chosen footfalls have led me far away from who I once was.

I didn't used to speak up…about abuse, 

I am now.

I didn't use to hike,

I am now.

I didn't use to bike,

I am now.

I wasn't open to new friends,

I am now.

I wasn't comfortable among women who shared themselves,

I am now.

I wasn't open,

I am now.

I wasn't self-loving, self-aware, self-empowered, and free to be me; loud and out there and unapologetically Me,

I am Now!