I M Perfect lady

I have listened to a few priests, and catholic leaders speak about the sexual abuse within the church. 

 Mostly, what I find is that they are dancing with words and shining lights in all directions and somehow dodging the full impact of the crime.

I get it.

Certainly they don't want to completely and utterly bring into their lives the complete package of sexual abuse by the elders of the church. It could, or would, destroy the integrity and piety of their church.

They want to acknowledge it, but not fully embrace it.

To see it, sorta and then get back to the business they are in.

 

It has the same imprint of how families deal with sexual abuse within their ranks.

 

One tactic, was to shine the light upon ALL of our imperfections, stating that none of us are free of sin.  This waters down the evil and brings us closer to them.  Deflating the charge and placing doubt and fear of judgement upon US.

A subtle or not so subtle change in the direction and making us somehow feel less worthy and making the abusers seem more like us.

 

Would the church ever acknowledge that God can be found elsewhere, that you will not lose your connection to God IF you were to leave.  

One spoke about a victim being unable to have a God to pray to. 

 

I am not even certain those who have led the church understand the gravity of how they speak about sexual abuse by their contemporaries.  How they are swaying the minds and confusing the messages.  How they are continuing on, unchanged, although speaking words about it.

Words.

Words.

What good will they do?

I want to see a priest drop his robes.

Walk away from his pulpit, in complete and utter disdain for how it has been used.

To walk outside and to embrace God on a one to one basis.

As they stand there in their robes of finery, in the image of power, on the higher plane than their members, they are still using their power to sway and manipulate how to see and deal with sexual abuse.

Only one priest said, If you feel called upon to leave, leave.

To go, and he wasn't going to blame them.

But, he – the leader of the church was going to stay and Lead.

Lead where, I am unsure.

Lead the same as always???

Teaching sins are to be forgiven.

We are all imperfect.

ya da ya da ya da.

 

What I ask, is so completely wrong about leaving?

Where is your God located?

Can you save the sanctity of your relationship with God, when leaving?

Will your spirituality come with you?

 

When I left my family and religion, I was seen as leaving all the good behind.

I left the love of family or my love of family and its traditions.

When I left the church, my spirituality and God, was left behind.

 

However, the complete opposite was true.

I took my love and my integrity about family and its values with me.

I brought them into my family world of my husband and children.

Family mattered more.

I valued and loved deeper.

I created a family environment that was intolerable about sexual abuse, abuse, etc.

I brought in equality. I became less and others became more.  I allowed each of us to be a whole human being.

I didn't leave behind family.

I left behind a family, I left a family that didn't protect children.  I left behind a system that didn't allow children the same vote or  to be seen as equal.

 

Same goes for the church I left.

I didn't leave God behind or my spirituality.

I left behind a religion that too left children unprotected.

I left behind a religion who blessed abusers, and watered down the rest of us so the distance between good and evil met.

I left behind a system that held men higher than women and children.

 

 I too used to think that God was only found in a religion, that family meant staying no matter what, that it was always wrong or sinful to leave. That walking out meant giving up. 

 

Yet, all I gave up was being part of a community that didn't protect its children.

I gave up being part of family who allowed evil to flourish.

 

And, I walked towards a whole new life where I had the empowerment for boundaries.

I walked towards a self that was beneath no one…and yet above no one either.

 

I have even thought, that this sexual abuse scandal within the catholic church will empower many to own their own spirituality, to embrace their own connection with God.  It may be the impetus for change into a more empowered world.

It will take away the hierarchy of power and the imbalance many were raised into.

Where we don't need an institution to tell us what is right and wrong. 

We need the space so individuals will find a more intimate connection with their soul.

 

I wonder what the victims feel as they see the church leaders leading in their usual way, where nothing really has changed.  Where the sheer numbers didn't make a difference. The church will go on as usual. 

Words are spoken from the pulpit.

Sure, there are new rules. But, for the most part, the ones with the power are wearing the robes.

Until there is complete equality in power, things will remain sideways.

It is the landscape of imbalance, where abuse happens most often.

IMG_0013

 When institutions and societies seek equal balance and empowerment, we will begin to carve inroads into the places where abuse flourishes.

Sexual Abuse is about power.

When we give equal power, the abuse numbers will start to drop.

 

 

,

Published by

bjukuri

Responses

  1. Paulette Avatar
    Paulette

    I hear what you are saying, Beth. I agree 100% that sexual abuse should NEVER be tolerated.
    However you are not a Catholic and don’t see the picture as we do.
    Bare with me as I try to explain how a Catholic see this travesty.
    First we are shocked right to our core and extremely, for lack of a better word, disappointed in how the church has hidden this evil. The sheer number of victims, of priests who committed these hideous acts, and those in position of power who covered up these crimes is astounding! This ugly situation rocks my 66 years of faith.
    But do we throw the baby out with the dirty bath water? Do we disband the Catholic Church? What about all the holy and good priests that minister onto us?
    If you were Catholic you would believe that St. Peter was given the keys to the Church and that the Popes that follow him were given that same leadership roll. (None of these men were exempt from sin unfortunately.)
    The fact that Jesus started our church leads us to believe that this is our way to salvation and here we stay.
    Lastly we believe in the seven sacraments and that by receiving them we attain grace. Most of these sacrament are given and preformed by priest. The most holy being Communion. We believe that the body of Christ is present in the bread and in the wine is Jesus’ blood. To receive this we bring God within us. To us this is sacred.
    Do you kind of get the picture? Our way to heaven is through Jesus working in the Catholic Church.
    Lastly harm has been done to so many innocent children. Those children deserve justice.
    Those would were involved in hurting them must be held accountable.
    Changes must be made in the Catholic Church so this will never happen again.
    This is what I hope and believe in.

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  2. I M Perfect Avatar
    I M Perfect

    Thanks for responding.
    I do hear you. I have written many responses….and all keep circling back to our differences.
    What I hear what the church means to you.
    I don’t know what I can say, that will have you seeing first the destruction of the lives of the children, before your faith.
    Can you see how the faith is first, your salvation first, or most precious. Can you see how this sentiment, will be what the abusers rely upon. You won’t leave. Thousands are like you. You will stay, for your salvation.
    Regardless of how many children’s lives are ruined.
    How can you show a child, that they mean more?
    In other religions, when there was abuse among its members, they too, were unwilling to give up their faith.
    Regardless of the little children. In fact, many quit talking to me, when it appeared that there may be a choice, where they had to chose their faith or the safety of children. Their own children or grandchildren.
    I seriously can’t seem to get the members inside of the religions, to fully understand, the impact of them continuing on as if nothing happened. And, they all say, it is for their salvation. It is for a heaven one day.
    They too speak of Jesus, and God.
    And, meanwhile children are at risk.
    How can the problem be fixed at the same level it was created at. It is insanity to believe, you can change the religion by not changing it.
    I know, some said, there are new rules.
    Really, the folks doing the abusing are not going to adhere to rules.
    I am not sure the average church member has even begun to investigate the intricacies of child sexual abuse. Who does it, why and how it affects the lives of the child etc. They are very good with their religion and know little or nothing about the ways their religion has used itself to abuse children.
    Will the faithful members become students in learning about pedophiles, abuse and children at risk?
    I would love to see the members asking the tough questions instead of focusing on the contents of salvation.
    Perhaps this goes against your religion to hold it second.
    I get it.
    And, so does the child who has been abused.
    They can see and feel that they matter less.
    I don’t know how to say it differently or see it differently too.
    What you may have forgotten to remember, is that one time I too was a member of a church, who I felt was my salvation and it knew about abuse, and my father, and it (members) blessed him in the name of their religion. It was their way to heaven. They believed God and Jesus were in there too.
    How can the children of all these religions become more than the religion?
    How can their innocence matter more?
    I am as frustrated as you are faithful.

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  3. Paulette Avatar
    Paulette

    Thank you, Beth. I will ponder your words.
    Am I “putting innocent children second to my faith”? My immediate answer is, “No!”
    If that was my child would I leave? I need to think on that one!
    Your’s in Christ.
    Paulette

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  4. Paulette Avatar
    Paulette

    I am just as admit against abortion.
    Our country allows women to murder babies.
    Should I move to Canada?
    Giving my brain a rest?

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  5. I M Perfect Avatar
    I M Perfect

    Effective dialogues will make us question what we believe, how we act and even more, to see the world from a new perspective.
    Yes, it is thought provoking to wonder what you would do for your child, compared to any child.
    What I know, is that my mother’s faith was not to be questioned, nor did ‘anything’ or person come before it.
    I understand how you hold it dear. And, it is not my intention to take anything from you, just to question the leadership of your organization and the way it has become an unsafe place for children.

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  6. I M Perfect Avatar
    I M Perfect

    That is a whole other topic, but yet it does make you consider how you stand in the place you stand?
    How you can have the free will to do what you want and to worship what you believe in, and to do with your body as you see fit.
    Then, how to allow all people the same luxury.
    When you enjoy personal freedom to be the person you are with your morals and values, how can you then want to regulate another’s choices?
    Or, even more, whose choices would you want to be forced to participate in?
    When we try and have power over another’s choice, we have to consider being the one controlled?
    I never realized the privilege I have lived and how my privilege has been gotten on the backs of those less fortunate.
    Until we walk in another’s shoes, can we really know what we would do?
    There are many situations that I am uneducated in, or lack the experience of.
    Sitting from where I sit, I am very naive on so many levels.
    My strongest life’s energy, is to give empowerment to women.
    I lived having my body controlled by the church.
    Its morals and values had a stronger voice than my own personal one.
    Again, it is back to equal power and self empowerment for all. Mostly those of us, who have been less than the power leaders – most often the white male.
    We need to go for tea and have a good chat! Or, a bike ride!

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