I M Perfect lady

I listened to a podcast yesterday, that calmed me down, and had me thinking of this virus in new ways.  I will continue to use Hand Sanitizer and Clorox wipes and will still be social distancing, etc.  This isn't about lessing what I am doing; but it eased my mind in an odd way.

Here is the podcast that I listened with Sanjay Gupta and Dax Shepard.

https://armchairexpert.simplecast.com/episodes/sanjay-gupta-on-covid-19

When I heard them discussing the possibility of there being folks who had the virus, prior to knowing there was a virus, I felt it was me.

I had a weird cold, as far as colds go, in the beginning of March.  It was unlike any cold I had ever had.    

My symptoms were a very dry throat, like way down the windpipe dry – can't swallow dry, coughing, wheezing with a tight chest, and I could not taste and I was very fatigued. I chalked it up to having to work while sick.  I pushed through tiredly.

So, here is the deal, just because we were unaware of it, does it mean it wasn't here?

If we had symptoms, but didn't have a name, could it have been the virus – prior to it being discovered?

How can we know, or does it matter if we know or not.  Does the virus care if we know? Or does the virus silently move about as viruses do?

What I am more at peace with, is feeling that I now have context for it.  The fear has lessened, due to knowledge.  And, if I am right – experience.

I am also hopeful that the folks I know who also felt they had symptoms, but no name, that we are not the only ones. That there are more of us out there, who have had it, but didn't know.

The groups of us, will do what they talked about on the podcast, we can be the Herd. The ones to flatten and drop the numbers; because we can't be re-infected so soon.  Or, so it appears.

They don't know the history of this virus, we all are writing it right now.

I hope this will bring hope and more calm and peace as it brought me. 

I think we need to talk about the virus before it had a name.  

Oh, and the elderly or those whose health was compromised, who may have died with what we thought was just pneumonia – could have been from the virus.  We can't know how long this virus has been around.  We didn't start testing and still don't test everyone.

We may be further along in this process that we thought.  

And, I will repeat, that I will not change the way I am being. I will still wipe with Clorox, and use my hand sanitizer.  I will still act like I am infected.  Even while I believe, sadly it was a few weeks back.  I was asymptomatic but contagious and did not know it.  

I can't even know how I was infected, or the chain that brought it to me….or the chain that I began and where it went.

I was spreading a virus, before I even knew it existed.

Which is why if more stay home, the chains will be broken, before they even start.

Perhaps our fear will be lessened by the more we know.  

The more we talk about the possibilities of our "odd colds" whose symptoms matches those of this virus.

It is a respiratory attacking virus.

Different than the normal cold.

I wanted to share this, and then part of me wonders if I will be criticized for doing so. For it is speculation on my part. Even if, I feel I am right, I can't prove it.

I feel more knowledge is best, more discussions, more curiosity and wonder, will lead to more awareness and hopefully understanding, why we all need to curtail our interactions with others.

I didn't want to keep this to myself and my family.  I want this to be part of the virus discussion – where was the virus before it was discovered?