I M Perfect lady

I am in the final stretch heading into retirement. I survived my last crazy package season at the post office and now watch as the last few weeks quickly pass by.  

My final work day is January 24th – a Monday.

That is not the best day to end my career with the post office, for Tuesdays and Wednesday are notoriously light mail days, but, it is the way it boiled down. 

This is a transition time, a moment in letting the old routine go, and then figuring out a new one.

It will feel unstable at first – for the past structure will be gone. 

In rebuilding a scaffolding for my life, I want to pay attention to how I put that together.

I want to design it with the intentions of it supporting what I love.

This may be a milder transition – compared to some I have navigated.

Being a retired person persona will be an interesting creation.

There is a little bit of anxiety of not wasting time and days.

And, of slurping up the last of these healthy years in ways that excite me.

And, if I am honest, the transition of having more time – compared to less – will feel expansive.

I can take the time to do things right.

To thoughtfully go through drawers and closets – to organize and open spaces for what I truly want.

For the past many years I have had one day off a week. One day to fill up with things I love.

Imagine now having 7!

The expansion is quite wide.

Yet.

Yet will I have the time to do all that I want to do.

Or more – the energy.

These last few weeks will be my semi-retired state – and I can dip my toes into more time.

What I feel the most is the absence of stress of trying to fit in my fun things. Or maybe it wasn't stress; but using the last of my energy to get in a fun activity after work.

There is a difference when skiing with full energy – compared to with a half a tank.

I am grateful I am aware that a transition is happening and that I am the constructor of how my life will be built around me. So far.

Certainly life can toss in a monkey wrench at any time.

Until then I am the designer of my days.

What is best I think is to allow for creative expression. To make a flexible structure that will grow old with me.  I am excited and yet somewhat soulful – for this is exiting stage of life.  The percentage is higher for changes popping in.  It is a precarious stage of life.  

In the past, life itself could offer sudden change.  

Now it is my body.

It is no longer sure footed.

I feel, or more I can see the edge of the horizon – and now have to make these days, moments, and time count.

This transition is one of being old.

Yes, it is a state of mind – however there are true realities – the body is aging.

We can't know how we will age; how graceful will be our parting. 

Growing old is a privilege, for many on our journey left early. 

I don't want to squander the wealth of living into old age.

Since we can't know what the future holds, it is best to go full throttle, even if that is half steam from our younger years.

Living life as fast as I can go.

I am feeling the luxury of time.