I M Perfect lady

Victims are speaking out in the Old Apostolic Lutheran Church – and Abusers are being arrested. This – I hope starts to trickle into the First Apostolic Lutheran Church.

 

Adult children of abuse – unmuting their voices.

I cheer you on!

 

I know this will come with consequences – and also with empowerment, freedom and self-love and respect.  

I believe they are breaking cycles and making others feel less alone.  

I am hopeful this is a trend that will keep on spreading into churches with cult-like tendencies.  

 

What has always confounded me is the way these churches have allowed abuse to flourish.  How it appeared that they are incapable of seeing evil – or understanding the difference between good and bad.  

How the lines seemed to be blurred by the forgiveness of sins – where wrongs/evil is forgiven and the person then becomes innocent of their crimes.  Washed whiter than snow – and in the eyes of the church – forgiven.  The crime/sin is said to be lost in the sea of grace.

 

Where does this leave the victims?

No longer victimized?

No, added to the trauma of abuse, it is now a sin in the church's eyes to bring up this 'forgiven sin' – they are made to feel a bad christian for naming another's sin.  How convenient for the abusers – when victims are silenced this way.

 

I had to look up the common conception or spectrum of what we call good and evil.

 

"In ethics and philosophy, "good" and "evil" are typically defined as opposing moral concepts, with "good" representing what is considered morally right and positive, and "evil" representing what is morally wrong and negative.These concepts are often understood as a linear scale, with actions, behaviors, or intentions falling somewhere along this spectrum."

 

What is the moral scale in these churches when they forgive the abuser and do not report their crimes?  Can they even be on the scale of good morals?

It is so confusing when the forgiveness of sins, wipes away evil – than does evil  even exist in their worlds?

If you don't a have a ruler or measurement of what is good and what is bad – right or wrong – how do you know where you stand and what to set boundaries against?

 

The only way that the churches allow this evil to exist within so many families, is that they can't see the evil once it has been forgiven. 

 

This mind game they play with real crimes leaves the victims without an ally. 

 

There are many within these churches who feel that they are in an organization with high morals and values.  Yet, if you overlook crimes – especially against children – who are you?

 

What seems to be child's play – has had decades and generations of folks being unresponsive to children who have been abused – while tending to the forgiveness of sins the church requires.

 

I know, it isn't intentional – but a by product of their religion.

 

They see the world so skewed – when evil only exists – until it's forgiven. It is a flash in a pan.

 

What I know, from experience with my family – their world didn't really hold evil – or maybe only me.  

They were all able to still have a father.

They were able to forgive and move on.

Their scale of good and evil seems more of good and good.

I am seen as evil – for my mind is no longer capable of turning evil back into good with words and pretend thoughts.

 

There is a meaning of forgiveness that I have adopted by Martha Beck  "I once read that forgiveness is giving up all hope of having had a different past…but forgiving is not the same as obliterating memory."

What these churches are asking when they say "Forgive and Forget" is to obliterate the memory of the abuse and that the abuser is evil.  

Imagine asking this of young children. 

Once I adopted her definition my world was set in reality – where good and evil did exist and I wasn't the evil person for speaking up. I wasn't evil for having boundaries or creating my own moral code.

I also don't hold this against my family – for they were born into this brainwashing system – a religion where evil is washed away – if you are in their circle.  

Maybe the real devil is the one who challenges their conditioned mind. 

 

What brings me great hope is that more adult children of abuse within these churches start speaking out.  Unmuting their voices and start seeing evil.  

And, my heart goes out to those who have to see evil in their own families – and to see the moral codes crumble in the religion they were raised in. And to find a new definition of forgiveness – giving up all hope of having a different past.

In that past, you will find abuse and your abuser – and those who knew and did nothing.

When you walk truthfully with your past, you can also walk truthfully into your future.

My mind is at ease with what is.

When you are walking hand and hand with reality – there is good and evil. And you discern what is love and what is indifference.