Category: Art & Quilts

"Equinox – This is the day when both the daytime and nighttime are of the same length, which has been long interpreted to mean that the world is in balance. Once the autumnal equinox passes, the nights begin to get longer and the temperatures will start to fall. Autumn is a time of dual purpose––it is time to gather the main harvests and it is time to determine what is needed for the upcoming winter. This is also about balance and as such, fall is considered the season of balance, a time during which you can restore balance to your own life."

In the past few days, I have been sitting with a decision I made…and pondering not really the outcome, but perhaps how its decision sits on me.  How does it change who I am or perhaps NOT change me…but how it has changed a relationship in my life.

What I do know is that I have been living a well balanced life for awhile now…and I do know what will tip me out of balance.  

I can tell, immediately how 'off' my body feels when even contemplating doing something that goes against my inner peace.

The oneness I feel or the settledness I feel while in balance can detect quickly what will upset it.

I feel it is in my best interest to keep the inner balance….even at the cost of an imbalance in the outer world.  

I am willing to lose a friendship, end a relationship, ask for space to keep my life in balance.

I know, that in the cycles of life, I will naturally have moments, where I tip out of balance.   Where my inner world has to come to terms with an upsetting moment in life; a death or tragic circumstance.

But the balance I am talking about is the way we choose to navigate this world.  Where we can know what is yanking us out of balance, but in order to make someone else happy, we are okay tipping.

I used to tip so much, I pretty much lived my life upside down…in order to bring peace to others.

I no longer am willing to have my inner balance imbalanced for another's happiness.

I am unwilling to let my life go off balance due to the choice another makes.

I step aside.

In order to keep my balance.

While I sat with a choice I made to keep me in balance…I tried to find a way to accommodate keeping me in balance…while standing with something that I don't agree with.

I couldn't find a way.

To stand with something I don't agree with, I automatically tip.

I lean.

I fall away from what is true for me.

That in and of itself….makes me lose my balance.

I love that on this Fall Equinox….I was pondering my balance while juggling the weight of a choice I made….only to find that by standing by me, I am keeping my balance.

I love that Fall is about restoring balance.

And, what I love even more, is that I practice this throughout the year.

On this Fall Equinox, we created kites and hung them in the wind…our intentions and what stands between us and our furthest reach…written upon them.

Our words perhaps will help restore a deeper sense of balance to our lives.

Some wrote what to do….

Others, what to let go of….

Both will restore balance…Happy Fall Equinox!

Wearing a Tutu elicits so many different responses…within and from the outside.

"I don't need attention that bad…" was one of the negative thoughts spoken out loud.

My own sentiment from long ago.

But it wasn't about gaining attention…it was about having fun.

A perfect opportunity to wear a Tutu is the Keweenaw Color Run/Walk!

Being silly, childlike and filled with joy and happiness with yards of tulle dancing around your hips.  The Tutu begs for you to dance around, twirling…

In the past, I didn't have within me the space to do this.  

I felt so pleased that I was able to do this with grace and not shame or embarrassment.

I was in a place where the Tutu didn't define me, but added fun to my already happy state!

I was able to meet the Tutu and join its energy of play.

My first ever Tutu wearing at 56.  I loved it!

As we waltzed down the street covered in colors from head to tow, with the dancing Tutu, a family was exiting a church.  A young child clutching his Sunday School paper,  looked at us with great interest. The mother's face showed her disproval in her tight lips and adverted eyes.  

The perfect clash into her Sunday of worship…were 6 Tutu ladies, walking to start the week of Pride at Michigan Tech.

Our playful, fun and laughter met up with the seriousness of worship.

Did the child ask about us?

Did she respond?

I can't know know know what truly went on after our brief few second encounter; but I felt her non-acceptance of us.

We clashed with her ideals and beliefs….what she was striving to instill in her child at their place of worship.  The very demons she is hoping to spare him from were yards away…on the sidewalk in front of the church.  

Tutu wearing Pride walkers.

I was her years ago.

I don't know what I would have said or did say…if my children had witnessed a parade of walkers drenched in color merrily walking along…kicking off the start of Pride Week.

It felt so right that the walk began and was held during church hours.  It felt like our joyful walk, twirling dance of color and communion with others… was to offset the solemn energy of sinful talk…typical in many churches.

The simplicity of community joining, was to me what church is all about.

The acceptance of all and to have music, color and physical movement…moved our spirits to the level of joy.  That is church.

A church outside and one where Tutus are not only accepted, but needed…and our laughter the song that is sung!

Then, in the afternoon, I went to church again.

This time, my Art Class was held in an old church.  Its space dramatically changed from its original; yet not.  

Art fills the space and the old stainless windows bring in colorful light.

The juxtaposition between the old use and new, is so striking.

Both are in the business of Spirit.

Yet, to me….Art is so much more joyful and uplifting. 

Art connects you with your inner well…and fills it.

My old church labeled us Sinners.  

We were not filled with positive energies, but subtracted from.  

We were drained of spirit by the rules, beliefs and dogma that was preached.  

Our individual expression frowned upon.  

We were judged by our sins and the world was evil and to be feared.  

In my Art Class there was no judgment and free expression was appreciated.  There were no rules or beliefs that we needed to learn.

We arrived.

The blank canvas awaited our paint.

A group of individuals happily did as they felt drawn to draw.

We each chose our colors, our design…we freely created in harmony.

The church this time was total freedom.

What a beautiful use of a church.

I love how my Sundays now are mostly used for Art.

I would so go to this church EVERY Sunday.  I could stay all day and my soul would be overflowing.

(Michele's Art)

I always left my old church…knowing I was a poor sinner.  One who could only hope would die with her sins forgiven…so I could escape Hell in eternity.

This Sunday, I left the church feeling so excited to have experienced Heaven on Earth.

Both of my Sunday experiences included friends and strangers….alike.  We joined to play and walk together in peace, love and joy!  No negative talk allowed.

In the back of my jeep was the remnants of my Joyful Sunday….

A Tutu and Works of Art!

Is there anything to judge without the experience of truth…or perhaps your truth and the familiarity of its voice; your voice and your truth.

How often do you think the bare truth of who you are is spoken?

Who uses your voice and mind, if not you?

To Judge was to make a reasonable conclusion.

What is the reasonable conclusion of who you are?

Do you know you…or do you know what you have to do in order to maintain peace and certain relationships, status, jobs….love.

It came to me, as one who has learned to embrace the truth of who I am, where I came from and then….the small little voice I had ignored for years.  My soul.   That maybe the lack of true judgment comes for the lack of being you.

How can you make a reasonable conclusion about others, IF you don't know who you are?  If you haven't proclaimed loudly this is who I am.

In voice

In action

Alone, if need be.

This is what I stand for…or against.

Can you make a reasonable choice, if you have never reasoned with yourself?

If you have never obeyed the whispers of your inner truth….and instead echoed the voices around you…how can you know what's your reason.

I looked up "Reason"

"a cause, explanation, or justification for an action or event."

"the power of the mind to think, understand, and form judgments by a process of logic."

It is interesting to get to to the root of the reason, to boil things down and see what is your logic.  And, is it a logical conclusion or one that is based on group acceptance or an individual value point?  Or is it even based on the more selfish reasons of not wanting to be alone and different?

I would bet, that more often than not, whether we judge or not, is based on selfish reasons, OVER reasons about the person in question,  themselves.  

It never was about the other person…when I made the decision to exit a relationship; but about my own inner truths, emotions and feelings….my integrity.

In order to be truthful to me, I said good-bye.

Are the reasons self-loving, selfish, or to be loved and accepted?

Why do we reason the way we reason?

If you are not even truthful about the reason you made a reasonable conclusion, is it your truth?

Again, judging or non-judging is way more about your inner world, your character, and your ability to speak and act your true nature….than it is about the person or situation you are judging.

In my experience of the past 10 years of learning to live with the truth of being Me, all my decisions were about Me.  It was never about the other person.  It was about defining who I am.

What I will accept, honor and respect…is what creates Me.

I called it living inside out.

It didn't matter how it felt or looked on the outside…it mattered a great deal on the inside as I began to form Me.

Could I honor, love and respect me, was my first question.

My focus was very narrow, it pointed inward at my heart and soul.

It was to be born again, as an individual.

The road of great resistance.

10 years ago, I didn't know who I was…as a self.

It was to go against all I was taught and raised to be; by those outside of me.

In the past, my reasonable conclusion was based upon group mentality.  I literally could not conclude on my own…for I would have stood out in the group.  

I thought as the church.

I thought what was good for the family.

My thoughts were based on how others would respond.

I dodged confrontations and upsetting faces….by being agreeing with their reasons. 

I often belittle or berated myself when I had a difference of opinion…and was applauded each time I went along.  I was accepted when I matched their reasons.

What is so clear to me today, is that when I no longer took care to fit in, I was set free to be Me.  And, I got used to being my best friend and strongest supporter.

I didn't know how weak and small I was, until I began stepping out.

Or, how undefined I was.

I didn't know me…but, I knew the group and what their needs were.  I was a complete stranger to my own desires.

It has been a fascinating, terrifying, brilliantly tragic, wildly exhilarating, completely overwhelming, exciting beyond reason….to get to know me and Be Me!

I would not trade my journey for anyones.

How grateful am I…I get to be ME!

Actually, I can…..be Me!