I M Perfect lady

Category: Books

  • Seen and Understood.

    "The people who have lost their parents and families due to abuse deserve the utmost respect and support. These people have risked it all to heal and stand up for the truth. These people are heroes and angels who hold a horrific reality for everyone else. They have suffered and escaped, and for that, I bow my head in reverence."  Rythea Lee

    What I love about her writtings, is how she totally gets it from the point of view of the abused; how we lost our parents and families due to abuse.  What a different perspective compared to how most see me…as leaving a family…and not that I lost a family.

    Slight is the angle of words, yet how vast is the difference. One blames me, the other corrects that.

    One seems to set me as uncaring…like if I cared enough I could have a family.

    That a family is still there waiting, not a collection of toxic relationships.

    Vital is the difference in understanding, there is no family there.

    No nurturing loving cove.

    I love how she writes, "hold a horrific reality for everyone else"  Yes, that seems perfect to me.  Nice to be acknowledge from the outside.

    Rythea also writes, "We do not live in a world where abuse is acknowledged and dealt with as an epidemic, relentless, radical situation.  If we did, there would be systems of support that help families, children, and adult survivors prevent and heal from trauma. There would be programs in schools teaching children about abuse and encouraging them to speak up about things that are happening to them. There would be extensive programs for all parents to learn and share about abuse prevention and treatment. There would be funding put forward for a complete revamping of our foster care system, which, as it is, does not protect children in foster care. The entire mentality of “family” would be questioned and explored in our communities and organizations to foster support at every level of functioning."

    I love that she too uses the word epidemic…and that it is relentless.  Very few acknowledge the volume, even when the numbers are as she writes, "One out of 4 girls and one out of 6 boys will experience contact sexual abuse by the age of 18 (Adverse Childhood Experiences Study, 2005). This statistic should cause the kind of alarm that is aimed at war and environmental break -down. What could be more important than a child’s safety? Isn’t it obvious that child abuse becomes the stem of violence that pervades our nation and beyond?"

    I love her frankness and where she directs her focus.  I feel the weight of blame being directed at me, changing course.  Just reading, that I lost a family, I didn't leave one, makes my body relax…I always felt it was no different than losing them all in a tragic accident…yet they are not dead. 

    I bow my heart in thanks, for getting our walk…and for you caring enough to write your experience of seeing me. It feels good to be seen and understood.

     

    These quotes were written by Rythea Lee. Her new book Trauma into Truth: Gutsy Healing and Why It’s Worth It is available at Amazon.com. Rythea Lee has a private practice in Northampton, Massachusetts and teaches workshops and classes for healing and self-expression. You can read more about her and her dance theatre company, the Zany Angels, at http://www.zanyangels.com . You can also see Rythea Lee perform on youtube.

  • “Leaving the Family System – An Honorable Choice, by Rythea Lee

    On the link below is a wonderful article that affirms my journey…written by a therapist.

     http://ritualabuse.us/research/leaving-the-family-system-an-honorable-choice/

    I highly recommend reading if you are a victim of child abuse.

     

  • My Lady and I….the book.

    Below is the link to ordering my book.  It is a bit expensive, but it is a table top book, an book of Art…a Memoir.  Which I heard today from Cherly Strayed, it is writing about the meaning behind your experience.  I am very pleased both with my experiene, the meanings I have received and the book.  

    http://www.blurb.com/bookstore/invited/2804976/a22d6e53844eba296736d3f014cde2752024100b

  • A Mass Exodus Out

    I picked up the book, "The Body Never Lies" by Alice Miller, again…and found a few places that I had highlighted.  I am sure I wrote about these before, but somehow it seems applicable again…as I was thinking about the being hopeful that the adult children of abuse, will find a voice, begin speaking up, telling the truth about their parents, their childhood, and themselves.

    In here she writes,

    "A person once said, "It's true.  Why do I think it would kill my parents if I showed them what I really felt for them? I have a right to feel what I feel. It's not a question of retaliation, but of honesty.  Why is honesty upheld as an abstract concept in religious instruction at school but prohibited in the relationship with our parents?"

    "Indeed, how wonderful it would be if we could talk honestly to our parents. What they ultimately make of the things we say to them is something we have no influence on.  But it would be an opportunity for us, for our children, and not least for our body, which has after all shown us the way to the truth."

    "The ability of the body is a source of never-ending wonder to me.  It fights against lies with a tenacity and a shrewdness that are properly astounding.  Moral and religious claims cannot deceive or confuse it.  A little child is force-fed morality.  He accepts nourishment willingly because he loves his parents, and suffers countless illnesses in his school years.  As an adult he makes use of his superb intellect to fight against conventional morality, possibly becoming a philosopher or a writer in the process.  But his true feelings about his family , which were masked by illness during his school days, have a stunning effect on him, as was the case with Nietzsche and Schiller.  Finally he becomes a victim of his parents, sacrificing himself to their ideas of morality and religion, even though as an adult he saw so clearly through the lies of "society".  Seeing through his own self-deception, realizing that he had let himself the sacrifice of morality, was more difficult for him than penning philosophical tracts or writing courageous dramas. But it is only the internal process taking place in the individual, not the thoughts divorced from our own bodies, that can bring about a productive change in our mentality."

    "Those lucky enough to experience love and understanding in childhood will have no problems with the truth. They have been able to develop their abilities to the full, and the children will profit from that.  I have no idea how large the percentage of such people actually do.  I do know that beatings are still recommended as a method of parenting; that the United States, that self-styled model of democracy, still allows corporal punishment in schools in twenty-two states; and that, if anything, these states are becoming more vocal in their defense of this "right" to which all parents are entitled.  It is absurd to believe that we can teach democracy with the help of physical force."  

    "My conclusion from this is that there are probably a lot of people living in the world right now who have been through this kind of upbringing All of them had their resistance to cruelty clubbed down at a very early stage; all of them have grown up in a state of what I can only call "inner insincerity."  We can observe this wherever we look.  If someone says, "I don't love my parents because they constantly humiliated me," she will immediately hear the same advice from all sides:  She must change her attitude if she wants to become truly adult, she must not live with hatred bottled up inside herself if she wants to stay healthy; she can free herself of that hatred only if she forgives her parents; there is no such thing as ideal parents – all parents sometimes make mistakes, and this is something we have to put up with, and we can learn to do so once we are truly adult."

    "The reason this advice sounds so sensible is that we have heard it all our lives and have believed it to be sound.  But it is not.  It rests on fallacious assumptions.  It is not true that forgiving will free us from hatred.  It merely helps cover it up and hence reinforce it (in our unconscious minds).  It is not true that tolerance grows with age.  On the contrary. Children will tolerate their parent's absurdities because they think them normal and have no way of defending themselves against them.  Not until adult hood do we actively suffer from this lack of freedom and these constraints.  But we feel this suffering in our relations with others, with our partners and our children.  Infant fear of our parents stops us from recognizing the truth. It is not true that hatred makes us ill. Repressed, disassociated emotions can make us ill but not conscious feelings that we give expression to.  As adults , we will hate only if we remain trapped in a situation in which we cannot give free expression to our feelings.  It is this dependency that makes us start to hate.  As soon as we break with that dependency (which as adults we can normally do, unless we are held prisoner in some totalitarian regime), as soon as we free ourselves from that slavery, then we will no longer hate.  However, if hatred is there it is no good forbidding it, as all the religions do. We have to understand the reasons for it if we are to opt for the kind of behavior that will free people from the dependency that breeds hatred."

    "Of course, people who have been severed from their true feelings since early childhood will be dependent upon institutions like the church and will let themselves be told what they are allowed to feel.  In most cases it is very little indeed.  But I cannot imagine that it will always be like this.  Somewhere, sometime, there will be a rebellion, and the process of mutual stultification will be halted.  It will be halted when individuals summon up the courage to overcome their understandable fears, to tell, feel and publish the truth and communicate with others on this basis."  

    "Once we realize the immense amount of energy children can summon up in order to survive cruelty and extreme sadism, things suddenly start looking more optimistic. Then it is easy to imagine that our world could be a much better one if those children (like Rimbaud, Schiller, Dostoevsky, and Nietzsche) could expend their almost limitless energies on other, more productive ends that merely fighting for their own survival."  Alice Miller

    When I looked back upon why I was able to tell the truth and to walk with it, it was because of the fact I had withstood years of being repressed and created this strength to stand opposed.  But, this time I was opposing those who stood opposite of my feelings, instead of surviving living with people who didn't allow my feelings a voice.

    I wondered, how the adult children, or children who have been abused in the FALC, would ever find a way out to speak their truth.  It then came to me. I did.  The very morals that were preached to me, to be truthful, to be honest, I used.  I used them this time against the very factions that taught them to me; my parents and the church.

    I am very hopeful, that running in the bodies of many suffering adults who have been unable to see the truth, due to being unable to see their parents clearly will.

    And once they can, they will use the same energy it took to withstand abuse to walk away and oppose it.

    I love this phrase, "Those lucky enough to experience love and understanding in childhood will have no problems with the truth."  I am a walking billboard of this.  I was not able to see the truth.   The simple fact, that I had lived for 46 years with a pedophile for a father and not see it, shows that I did not experience love and understanding as a child.

    Just this fact alone, sent me into the land of denial.  Unable to see the truth.

    Imagine, in order for you to be with the truth, you have to be loved and understood as a child.

    What I believe, is that this alone is the sole reason for this abject failure to see the truth, and to beunable to be a witness to the volumes of abuse within the church; all of the people have not experienced being loved and understood as a child.

    Detective Tom Rosemurgy asked me, "What could we have done to make you see the truth, prior to your father being exposed?" And I had no answer.  I still don't but, I do have the reasons why I couldn't.  

    What I realize is that it isn't the message, but rather the person who is hearing it.

    And I believe, that each of us will carry this burden of the untold story, until our lives and our bodies become unmanageable….and then the truth will be born unto us.

    It wasn't that I was better than my siblings, I was more tired.

    The energy it took to repress my unexpressed truths was too great.  I couldn't hold it back anymore.  I shook and rattled, and it exploded forth.  Forty-Six years worth of emotions broke free.

    I have eternal hope, that one day, child by child, similar experiences will happen.  I also believe that there will be a mass exposure within the FALC, and that many children will become aware at once…for the numbers of abuse have increased exponentially since me.

    And what I love, is that the church itself has bred, individuals who have the unconscious feeling of having to do what is right, not what is comfortable…and has grown them to be used to 'different' and to not fear being ostracized.  All beautiful traits needed to set out on the journey away from abuse.

    I had all the tools within me, having lived the life I lived.  I was strong and I wasn't afraid to follow….but this time I followed me.  My feelings and my truth.

    I have great hope and belief, that once the flood gates open, there will be a mass exodus out.

  • A New Reality.

    I am reading a book that I picked up at Dial Help, titled "Helping Your Child Recover from Sexual Abuse."  By Caren Adams and Jennifer Fay….written in 1987.

    There is an inner battle with my mind and body, for it will makes sense to one or the other, but not both.  I can read this from a parent view, but feel the ineptness as a child.

    Interesting.

    They give a scenario and then "What to say".

    I can see that this would be helpful to read Before your child was abused, but after, I believe you will be too distraught to find the page with the right phrase.

    In speaking about family and who to tell, they write;

    "If your child wants to tell everybody she or he knows, it could be that she/he has been rewarded for telling the story, and wants more reward.  In that case, try to reward your child in other ways, and limit the telling.  Everyone does not need to know; it's not a secret, but it is private. A child who needs to tell everyone in the world really has another need.  It is up to you and/or the child, to decide what to tell. It is not necessary for everyone to hear the details, even if they press you for them."

    Under What to say.

    " Who do you think we should tell about this?  Who would we tell if you broke your leg?  Had your tonsils out?"

    "I know this is embarrassing and sometimes people say thoughtless things, but I need support.  Shall we tell Grandma?  Aunt Pam? Your father? Your Teacher?"

    Okay, I am sorry, but being sexually abused isn't like a body wound, it is a huge blow to your inner self.  It isn't embarrassing, it is trauma to your emotional body. What is embarrassing is that the people you thought wouldn't hurt you did.  You misjudgement of character is what you feel taken aback by.

    The way they are talking about sexual abuse, feels to me like they don't know it by experience.  

    It isn't about who to tell or what, it is about keeping that child safe in reality.  It isn't about the other people, it is about what the child needs.

    I can hardly feel that the child will be seeking to be rewarded for telling her story.

    Rewarded, I believe for not telling it is more accurate in my experience.

    When 90% of abuse happens with someone you know, and 50% of that with family, the view point of abuse isn't typically like they are writing….for the most part it being a stranger.

    Recovering your child after sexual abuse, is more like recovering reality.  The child just happened to find a Cat in the matrix.  A person who isn't a 'loving friend/family' and now everyone needs to adjust to a new reality.

     

  • Notices the Lies.

    While listening to Debbie Ford talking to Oprah, she had an acronym for Denial; "Don't Ever Notice I Am Lying".  

    Isn't that clever?  

    And how often do we play this game, not only with ourselves, but with others as well.  We either say things we don't mean or mean things we don't say…we get in the habit of not speaking our truth, no matter how small and insignificant, we embellish it by not letting it just sit there in its glory….we lie.

    Who knew, lying is denial….

    When I think of the word denial, it was to put people in a state of not being aware.  I didn't put them actively participating in leaving reality; by saying what isn't true for them.

    It makes denial a less passive sport.  It makes it a personal activity.

    Most often, we know that our truth will ruffle feathers and sends ripples of waves in our 'close' relationships, so we hope they don't notice "I am lying".

    What I even believe, is that denial is rampant state of being, we are so used to saying not what we mean, that it is incredibly hard to not lie.

    To just say it as it is.

    We are addicted to the false sense of comfort of lies.

    This is especially true when you were born and raised in dsyfunction.  You don't really, really really want to know you are 'not normal' or that your family is not anywhere near the state of wellness.  You began living in this state of lies in order to survive your childhood, and then forgot to remember it was all lies.

    There has to be only two states of being. Denial…and lies or Truth and no lies.

    It isn't that we set out to be liars, but when abused, we are told to lie and lying becomes our way of being.

    We lie about how we feel, about not being afraid, about who we love, who we trust, we lie.  We lie in order to keep our worlds looking the same.  The world stays the same and inside we lie.

    Denial on the inside…so our worlds on the outside don't collapse.

    We then live rotting on the inside, while the outside has a mom and a dad, not a pedophile and his accomplice.  It is easier to lie, than it is to sit and feel the brunt of feelings and emotions that arise with the knowing of reality.

    My denial was brought into the open when my father was exposed as a pedophile, all my lies were found out.  I was a liar.  

    I would have thought our whole family would have been forced out of denial, but instead some were able to keep on lying.

    It was incredible and extremely frustrating and maddening and still is today…to witness the strength of denial.  And in order for them to keep up the lies, they can't participate in life with me.  I see now, I notice.

    I do notice their lies…which is what they push away from.

    I have had the opportunity to see my family and religious community in action when you bring up the words abuse or speak of pedophiles…They won't bring it in.

    I understand to my bones, how impossible it would be for a small child to wake up these folks, for I have been trying to piearce their denial…and have failed.

    They keep lying to themselves…over and over, flinging back the truth and saving the lies. Their whole lives are built upon a rotting foundation and they will work on the rotting structure, making it appear undamaged…while damage runs free.

    I am utterly impressed with the volume of lies folks believe.

    And I have become the liar in their midst, while they cling to the image of father and mother.  Something has to be wrong, so it is I.

    I am the lie.

    And he is the truth…as a father, not a pedophile.

    In order for the lies to work, I am not telling the truth…they are or he is, or my mother is truthful and I am a liar.

    They will deny my words and cling to the rotting family tree.

    My experience of them is that I am the one to stand clear of and they have.  Step back from the abused and step towards abusers to protect their own lies.

    Even within the church, the churches hierarchy will not even begin an inside investigation, words of abuse falls on deaf ears.  Who are they protecting???  Not the children, so then who?

    It came to me yesterday, Sunday when the church is full, that they too are hoping "Don't Ever Notice I Am Lying".  The church is lying. It lies when it says it can make the sins disappear.

    It is lying.  

    And yet, bring abuse there and you will be treated like a liar, no one believes you…yet they believe enough to bless it away.

    Their business is to bless away reality, kinda like denial.  Hoping no one notices the lies.


  • I believe

                                "Believe, that I believe."  Cheryl Richardson

    My Lady quilts are back in the basement, their debut over, my coming out out.  

    It almost feels like the past two days, was about me going over the finish line, the ending of a birth…or even a return to just living.  For it seems like I have been on a dual journey, healing and living at once…with the emphasis on healing… and living was secondary.  It is like a huge job or task has come to an end.  

    Like I was in labor for 7 years and have just given birth.

    It is like I have been in mourning and creating a baby at the same time….and the quilts have equal emotions of sorrow and joy.

    A close friend and I were talking, and she shared with me how moved she became when trying to tell others about my journey, she couldn't get past the lump in her throat after a few quilts.  The emotion and feelings I had while creating them, are still there, lodged in the fibers, like my pain was removed from me and is now residing there, along with hope, confusion, lost self, etc.  They seem to connect with the subconscious places within…

    I hadn't counted on them being "moving" or that it would require others to feel so intensely.  I was amazed that friends who have been on this journey with me, who have witnessed huge portions of it, are still taken a back.  

    It was so unexpected…I was chuckling in the profundity of it all.

    Marveling at temerity of The Lady.

    I was laughing with my friend, but about The Lady… not her lack of composure.  

    It seemed absurd, that My Lady seemed to pull endless amounts of emotional energy, always deeply moving, no matter how familiar they are with me.  She still reaches deep.

    She never fails to elicite a reaction of the spirit.

    I am in awe of her power as well, it is way beyond me.

    I now feel like she is a complete set, that my work on getting her to her full power is done. 

    I created her and she created me, and we are both in a place now, where the deep excavating is over, we dug deep and rebuilt well.

    It was like my job was to create her and in doing so would heal me.  If at any time I would have stopped, we both would have been left incomplete.  I had this feeling of not being able to stop, that I was driven to create her.  It wasn't an option.

    Just as it wasn't an option to make a different choice, each time I was presented with following my truth or denying.  Truth was the only answer.  Just as working on ladies wasn't an option.  Nothing and I mean nothing else would raise my inner joy as she would.

    As I worked on My Lady; I was working on fixing my wounded self.  

    I see the story line quilts almost like x-rays of my wound being healed.

    While she filled my vessel with gallons of joy; she also carried away tubs of sorrow.

    Her and I are one.

    I can talk about myself in the third person when I have My Lady…she allows me to show my scars in an artful way.  She isn't scary like an abused child is, when you have no way of 'fixing' her.

    I know, to the depth of my being, to the first stitches of My Lady, that we are meant to be used to offer hope, to explain the affects of abuse and to display the journey out of the darkness, to show that it is possible to make it all the way out.

    We will never be able to erase a part, nor do we want to.  If we took out one quilt the story would be broken.  

    The beauty of My Lady, is that she began at zero, a nothing, worthless and faceless, she was born after her life of lies about destroyed her.  All she had was the love of quilting art…everything else about her was a lie.

    I had to create me again.

    My Lady walked with me, held my hand, kept joy when I was swimming in sorrow.

    Certainly, there were times when my life wasn't a life, but her life was filled with great mystery and excitement.

    Now my life and her life seem equal.

    We are both standing at the edge wondering what is next.

    When creating My Lady quilts, I would be intrigued in seeing if I could get her to sit down, to ride in a kayak, or dance and do yoga…now she will be seeing what she can make me do.

    Already, we have a book.

    We were featured in a quilt show.

    We have a second engagement scheduled for August 9th.

    We are gaining fans.

    I feel, and have always felt, she had magic, that she was of the Universe…that we were destined to be.

    It was for me to experience my life exactly as it has happened.

    That I have met the right people at the right time, all of them are handing me off to the next group, raising me higher and higher.  

    There is wind beneath My Lady and I that I am not in charge of.  Its course is already in the stars.

    What a ride, what a horrifying joyful ride…and I believe that the real work is about to begin, that My Lady and I are now ready to do what we were created to do, our life's purpose.

    As Cheryl Richard's quote says, "Believe, that I believe."  I have believed in My lady, always.  I have put my faith and my hope and my dreams and my life in her.

    I am her, I believe.

    IMG_3321
    Photograph by Hannah Jukuri


  • Wrong View of Life

    ‎"The mind composed of ignorance or wrong view suffers from spiritual disease; it sees falsely. Seeing falsely causes it to think falsely, see falsely and act falsely. You will see that everyone, without exception, has the spiritual disease." Ajahn Buddhadasa

    "In Pali, the ancient source language of Buddhism and Hinduism, the word for mental illness means "wrong view". We must be careful not to interpret this righteously, as in, If you see things differently than I, you are wrong. The wisdom lies here in the revelation that our wellness of mind hinges on how clear and true we remain to the pulse of life itself." Mark Nepo

    I have said about myself, that I had a "mental breakdown" when actually I was going through a change of view.  I was beginning to see things clear and true…being at one with the pulse of life itself.  

    I love this for it makes complete sense to me.  It wasn't that life was wrong, but rather my mind was comprised of ignorance and it then seen life falsely, which had me speaking and acting falsely.

    I find great peace in reading this for it matches my experience.  

    Here is another paragraph;

    "At heart, our mental health comes out of the sacred relationship between our deepest Self and the very source of life.  The moment we distort, limit or rationalize things away from what they truly are, we start to experience the spiritual disease that Ajahn Buddhadasa speaks of."

    This is why I am so vigilant if you will to try and align myself with what is, to not try and distort or rationalize or change the way things truly are; my mental health depends on it.

    Of all of Mark Nepo's writing this has to be number one for me, for it echos my experience of the mind and how it can have a wrong view of life.



  • My Journey So Far

    It was my intention to complete a book that had the evolution of my Lady, which is the star of my quilts.  And I did.  It was very interesting to not only look at each individual quilt, but to tell what it meant to me and my journey. I once again realize how fortunate I am to have this visual trail leading backwards…and forward; to see the process colorfully displayed in fabric and design.

    At times, when looking at them, it is hard to recollect the me that created them, and at other times, I feel it is the same artist.  And perhaps it is the same talent, but a new inspiration behind the hands.

    This book, I did by myself, and had two of my daughters do a glance over to see if the pictures and words were properly placed.  Each did a few tweaks, but all in all, I did it.

    Now, it seems…the journey isn't over, but it continues on. I wonder what my art will show as I venture forward. I wonder what turns my life will take, what hills I have yet to climb, and what surprises still lay ahead.

    I feel now that I am still drawn to create Art Quilts, but the need of therapy has been reduce. There is more air, space and relaxation in and around my quilts.

    Guess I could say this book is my journey so far…

    http://www.blurb.com/bookstore/detail/3344484

  • My Body and Mind are with Me.

    I have been working on a book that has photographs of my quilts along with some writings and it feels like it is a completion to my Art Therapy. Sitting with each quilt and writing about what wisdom it imparted to me; a journey in fabric.

    I now can see why folks write books, for it takes all the loose ends and ties them together, completing a section of your journey.  I am seriously thinking now, of doing a reading book…one that will encapsulate how it feels to wake up in abuse and walk with truth in order to be free.

    It finally feels like I have picked apart and investigated many aspects of abuse and that I can leave it behind with full understanding…knowing it, will allow me to sidestep the same potholes in my future.

    The greatest part of my journey wasn't the act of abuse, but how I developed and grew from there.  How my mind was completely changed to make me believe in an alternate reality, one where I lived for 40 years.

    In my experience, healing from abuse is to work your way back to reality…where the truth fits in.

    It feels like I am entering into a new phase, one that isn't so littered with fragments of an unexplored life.  The mountain of abuse has to be climbed, it isn't good enough to just glance its way and walk on.  I had to become intimate with abuse in order to rescue my self from it.

    Abuse had infested each aspect of my life, for I was the common denominator and my mind was present in each of my life experiences, even when the truth was kept out. A confused mind recorded my history, "weaving the most plausible story"…as Dr. Jill Bolte writes.

    Wrestling my life back from my mind and correcting its errors has been a thrilling terrifying ride.  

    Martha Beck describes it this way. "I recall its horror and beauty, the enormity of all the things I have lost and the incalculable preciousness of the things I have gained.  I wouldn't give up the journey – not a moment of it.  On the other hand I have no desire to live it again."  

    I agree with her 100%.  I have no desire to restart this process of rewiring my mind connecting it to reality…nor would I want to again go through the disconnection of so many relationships.

    It truly is like killing one life and birthing another. Harder than death, for in death, you are just gone.  Now, I am gone from their lives, but alive.

    I felt the death of my old life. I grieved for me…while resurrecting a me.

    All that really died were lies….and what was born was truth.

    But, the lies I had come to love.

    And now I had to learn to love the truth…it took awhile for me to love the truth, for the first tastes of truth were seasoned with abuse.

    Now, I am comfortable here.  

    I love truth, and feel uncomfortable with lies and skirting around issues and pretend…or silence about the things that matter.

    I even believe that my mind is happier, more at peace, relaxed and content…for it no longer has to manufacture an overlay to hide what I didn't want to know.

    My body and mind are at ease, they agree.

    My Spirit feels safe to be me…for it no longer has a conflicted perception of the world in front of it.

    Where I am, my body and mind are with Me.

    IMG_8075