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• "You cannot set a boundary you do not have"

   

  More from "The Awakened Family" -by Dr. Shafali Tsabary 

   

  Chapter 21 "From Discipline to Enlightened Boundaries.

  "Once you have learned to check in and attune to yourself and your children, the next important task of parenting is almost as sacred as connection. This is the art and discipline of creating boundaries. Notice I said the "discipline of creating boundaries" as opposed to the "art of disciplining." Whereas the latter focusing on changing our children through discipline, the former focuses on disciplining ourselves to change. My book "Out of Control" emphasizes how disciplinary strategies are just a means of control and manipulation. It's our lack of understanding to how to create appropriate boundaries that result in what we call a "disciplinary issue," as a if it were the child's fault."

  "This is the most important lesson in this chapter: All disciplinary issues with children occurs because of a lack of discipline within the parent. It's really the indiscipline of parents that we need to create interventions for, not the child!"

  "I believe that establishing limits and creating appropriate boundaries are some of the most difficult aspects of parenting. When we attempt them, we tend to be either too rigid  or too lax, unaware of how to create the right conditions for our children to thrive." Shefali

  I loved seeing how the old ways of parenting (at least how I was raised) was a form of manipulation and control.  

  And, I have parented this way. It is exhausting and it leaves the child to blame for all the strife in the house.

  Her approach is completely new and life changing; for the parent!

   

  Further on she writes;

  "You cannot set a boundary you do not have."

  "When you hear the word "boundary" you probably assume I'm talking about giving our children boundaries. However, I always start with the parent. I'm less concerned with our children's understanding and more concerned with our own internal boundaries. Whenever our children get out of line, it's not so much they who are out of line as ourselves."

  "If you are wondering what this looks like in practice, it means that our own relationship to our limits is wishy-washy. The line between what we deem appropriate or inappropriate isn't clearly drawn in our mind and heart. Our inability to set a clear limit is the reason our children keep violating our boundaries. As with all aspects of conscious parenting, the misalignment begins with us." Shefali

  I LOVE, you cannot set a boundary you do not have.

  This isn't just for our children; it is for everyone who we spend time with.

  Finding our own boundaries and standing firm within them, will define us and allow us to navigate the world with clarity.

  Do you know your own boundaries AND, do you know how you got them?

  I used to have boundaries that were given to me, or ones I created out of fear.

  Most were senseless and without substance.

  Lots were based upon the 'guidelines' of religion.

  Many were beliefs and 'sins' to steer away from.

  There are still a huge volume of people who live their lives by the old frame work of discipline, control and manipulation.

  This is very tiresome; because you are controlling others, instead of yourself.

  Yet, how can you control yourself, IF you don't know yourself?

  What you stand for, and why?

  What you resist, and why?

  And, more importantly, what are you for? 

  Are your clearly defined by your standards, values and inner knowings?

  My old controlling self was created by dysfunction and religion- a very constricted, dark place to grow.  It didn't allow for self-love, self-expression or individuality – freedom to be.

  Leaving behind my old ways, I learned to find new boundaries based on self-love.

  What honored and respected Me.

  It was completely scary and extremely liberating and freeing!

  I cast aside the old beliefs for ones that echoed from within me.

  I read somewhere awhile ago, that religion was created to control people.

  I can't know if this is true, but it feels true.

  So, many feel that if you don't have a religion; you are out of control.

  Free to do number of sins.

  Yet, oddly enough.  When I gave up my religion, I became kinder. 

  I mothered – by getting myself right first.

  A complete turn-a-round for my kids.

  They were no longer the problem, I was.

  I had to first find out what my boundaries were in order for them to see me.

  Mostly, when I became free to be myself and govern me, they were left with just being themselves. 

  When I honored and respected Me, I did the same to them.

  Without this book, I changed myself and became a better mother.

  The reason, I feel it is completely hard for parents to parent this way, IS that they don't know who they are, and what their own boundaries are.  

  You cannot set a boundary, you do not have.

  You cannot present a self you do not know.

  An amazing book!

  The best parents know who they are where their boundaries lie.

  
  

   

   

   

   

   

  January 7, 2018

  ---

• What if, instead of changing, we did more becoming? Stop trying to 'improve' or change who we are; but instead we allowed.

  Allowed all of who we are to appear.

  To let our feelings have value and expression.

  Give respect to emotions, especially when they appear difficult to honor.

  Allow ourselves to be ourselves, without explanation.

  Spend time watching for what we don't allow.

  "I can't say that." 

  "I am not allowed to say No."

  "I have to go…"

  To explore what boundaries you have in place that keeps you from becoming You.

  We often read and hear about setting boundaries; and we seldom hear about allowing.

  Allowing yourself to be different, to not match, to not go along to get along, to speak up, to disrupt the flow, to burst forth in your truth.

  Allow for actions to match your feelings; especially if they are different from what we have always done.

  Allow yourself to grow and become from within, even if it opposes what you are comfortable with.

  Letting the you inside of you become, is completely enthralling and magical and horrifying when you have lived away from yourself for a long while.

  We choose to live lies, because we had to in order to survive; to be one with the group, to be approved of, to be liked, to fit in.

  There also comes a time, we have to stop lying in order to live.

  "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." Anais Nin

  I have lived in a tight bud, my inner self and expression of me hidden from view. And, I have lived fully exposed and open.  I prefer the blossom to the bud.

  It is like breathing and not breathing.

  Maybe it is comes with age, where it is harder to pretend; or we feel the passing of time and that we have less to live than what we have used up.  But, if not now, when?

  There is no part of me that wants to return to the bud.

  When I followed the truth of what I felt, I began to unfold and expand and unfurl.

  Allowing yourself to expose You, can be very terrifying, while extremely empowering and exciting.  It is to watch the birth of you.

  When I first began this process, there was just a small bud of me. A terrified bud. One who understood one thing.  I was abused. And, the rest of my world didn't make sense.

  Yet this one wounded bud, was enough to allow the rest of me to come forth. I didn't bloom in one day. It has taken years.  Each year a bit more unfolds. In each choice, a petal is revealed.

  Imagine the world if all of us could allow ourselves to become who we were born to be?

  To fully express our inner beauty and originality!

  What I know to be true, is that the blossom of you, will be fully supported.

  And loved.

  by you.

  I am fairly certain that I am the most in awe of who I have become.

  While the outside may appear bleak, that I have lost so much, my inner view, of the garden within, is quite lush. 

  I love myself much more as a full blooming flower.

  Who knew what the bud would look like, when I allowed it to be Me.

  Fear certainly kept me in a tight bud; fear of disappointing, being disproved of, disliked, unloved, unpopular.

  Fears that were spot on.

  They did come to fruition.

  There truly does come a time, where the risk to remain tight in a bud is more painful than the risk to blossom.

  I did lose.

  But oh, did I gain.

  Again, the blossom is so much more easier to be; than the bud.

  As the blossoming flower, I can confidently express my nature.

  Perhaps all those who are looking for change, are just looking for a petal to unfurl!

  I hope so.

  Allowing the petals to unfurl would bring such beauty to this world.

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

  January 2, 2018

  ---

• Workout This Year!

  Another full year awaits us, wide open and a clean slate.

  What will your intention be for you this year?

  Will you make promises you can't keep?

  We approach a year as if the year has more power than the voice inside of us.

  Who is making the promises and to whom?

  Last year my word for the year was Dare. 

  In situations where I was torn, the word would push me into a decisions. Often a decision that I would not have made, if it were not for the promise to myself to dare more this year.

  So, as I sit here today, I am pondering my new word.

  I want it to be playful and silly, nonsensical.

  NONSENSICAL is my word!

  I LOVE this.  

  For way too many years I have been so serious, so methodical and reasonable, so responsible to be nonsensical. 

  I was afraid to be too silly and playful.

  What I believe, but can't prove, is that I was caught and abused while playing, so I became very serious and aware. Didn't dare let my guard down to throw caution to the winds and just be a kid and play.

  I have said my sense of being responsible has been a heavy burden and weight upon me.

  I felt too responsible; even for things that were not mine to carry.

  The happiness of others, to carry more than my share, to put my needs aside for everyone….oh the list is long.  A sensible list of being the oldest girl of 14.

  Now, I will try and release the nonsensical energies within me.

  Letting go of being so serious will allow my soul to run free – childlike.

  My actions don't need to make sense.

  Impractical and ridiculous will be fun things to do!

  Imagine the ludicrous, and the preposterous – that will be Me.

  2018 will be the year I let go of being so responsible and sensible.

  I looked up the antonyms to nonsensical and there I was – realistic and reasonable!

   

   

  

  And, for some reason, this photo will not post upside right.  I guess this is my start to being nonsensical!

  I am excited for a year of full of finding moments to be nonsensical – to let my inner crazy silly girl run free!

  Good-bye Daring, what a wonderful adventurous year you gave me.

  Out with the old and in with the new!

  My soul is excited contemplating the year ahead!

  I LOVE letting go of being responsible and reasonable! 

  Yes!!! Nonsensical we will have so much fun this year!!

  I wonder in which ways nonsensical will grow me?

  How will releasing nonsensical, change my world?

  It feels light and free.

  I want this for me; very much!

  I love having words that will change how I answer when choices appear.

  My nonsensical muscle will get a workout this year!

  
  

   

  December 31, 2017

  ---

• Merry is what we are!

  When past ghosts of dysfunctional behavior arrives by the way of my old pleasing ways; it can swiftly lower my energy to a point of "being all glum over there in the corner". 

  What I am always surprised by is the sneakiness, or how it is hidden in 'kindness'.

  I can now see more clearly how pleasing steals your joy, how doing to make others happy, can have the reverse response IF there are too many pleases at one time.

  Being aware, like hyper-vigilant about what you are doing especially during busy holiday times is very key for those of us who are recovering people pleasers and co-dependents.

  I got lost in what everyone else needed and forgot about me, until I felt backed in the corner and overwhelmed. Everyone was happy; but me. 

  Goal made.

  My old ways accomplished.

  When you please everyone and forget about your own needs, you will be glum in the corner.

  It has been a long while, since I lost sight of my needs.

  Or, my ability to say no and let others be less happy.

  What I also learned was that when you deplete your energy, it doesn't come back easily or with the intention of "It's Christmas Eve, Be happy now."

  My inner energy balance was drained.

  Not by one too many batches of cookies, but the combination of many things.

  I got caught up in doing it all.  

  Like I had done so much in the past.

  I used way way overextend myself, to serve those who I thought needed a brighter christmas. 

  Like I was Christmas Joy.

  Only to end up joyless.

  Empty.

  Energy spent.

  It wasn't one request or one thing, I thought needed to be done, it was the combination of it all.

  What was most surprising to me, was me.

  My feeling, the feelings in the state of being empty.

  This hasn't happened to me in a long long while; like years a decade or more.

  I got to revisit the scene of christmas, family, lights, presents and not have that fill you up.

  Meaning, if you arrive empty, you will leave empty.

  I have known, and felt for years now, Christmas can't replace the inner joy of being.

  It's not its job.

  Each of us are responsible for the energy we bring into the room, as Dr. Jill Bolte-Taylor says; but, we are also responsible for keeping our energy high, and not draining it to fill others.

  For some reason, this christmas I lost my ability to monitor my own energy, until it was all sucked out.

  Too late.

  And, I had to watch how it felt to be so empty of energy.

  I sat and noticed, noting how our inner world is solely ours to repair. 

  Nothing from the outside can refill me.

  I have to do it.

  I can truly see how our mental health – inner feelings- are so important.

  In the past many years, I have not felt this drained feeling, or the come down after christmas. I could never articulate what that was.  Now, I can see it be empty of self.

  Where you give far beyond, forgetting to keep a reserve. And, even giving to those who you can't fill. Please the un-pleaseable.

  The glumness of being empty overshadow all on Christmas Eve Eve.

  What an incredible gift to re-visit my old self.

  What joy to know, this is no longer my usual me.

  The weight of what some may call depression or feelings of blue, is hard to live with inside.

  Our personal inner landscape has to be tended to with care.

  We are the ones we are waiting for.

  It is up to us to keep our insides happy.

  We can't deliver happy, joy or love.

  You can't receive happy, joy or love.

  We have to be happy, in joy and in love from the inside out.

  Doing whatever it takes to keep our inner light shining bright.

  And, giving others the ability to do the same.

  I appreciate the ghosts of christmas pasts that came to visit.

  The gift I had to see my past self.

  I know where I lose my energy and what it takes to keep my love, peace and joy.

  When, you have joy inside, the christmas is icing on the cake.

  When you don't have joy, Christmas can't deliver it, no matter what gifts you get or don't get, who is there or isn't there.

  Christmas is a feeling you have inside.

  Merry is what we are!

  
  

   

   

   

   

  December 26, 2017

  ---

• My Lady, my Art and I

  "Art is something you do, that no one can take away" Terry Crews

  Hearing those words on a podcast today, made me emotional.  I felt their truth.

  Art truly is something no one can take away.

  It is personal, and part of us that no one can remove.

  Which is why my fiber art meant so much in the early years after discovering I was abused.

  Learning about my abuse, I felt abused all over again. That the perfect part of me was taken, that I was somehow cheated on being an innocent.

  Creating Art somehow restored the specialness inside of me.

  It was a part of me that will remain untouched.

  This makes me love Art and its process even more! 

  Art restores the soul and that cannot be removed.

  Art therapy, has to know this.

  
  

   

  On a different podcast, I heard this. "To take something to a different level, you have to go too far, to create a new paradigm." JD Roth

  Meaning, in order to create a new pattern, you have to be "way out there".  I LOVE this too.

  It affirms what I have felt.

  In changing the legacy of abuse, your life will have to be so different in order to really make the change into a new paradigm. It can't be sorta different, but way out there.

  And, the good news, for me, is that I have been accused of this. Of taking things too far, of being so different.

  I know we all know this.  Yet, we don't want to really know this, for it will mean doing things completely different.  If you want to shift into a new paradigm, you will have to be way out there when it comes to doing your every day life. Different doesn't mean kinda sorta the same. And, you will often be alone, in order to rise to a new level.

  "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over expecting different results." Einstein.

  What I believe so many struggle with, is wanting things to change, but not wanting to go so far away from what they are used to doing.  Or for the change to upset or disturb their worlds. 

  And, to be seen as going too far!

  Most just want to have things magically rise to a new level without having to travel too far off the beaten path.

  I love days when I hear things that affirm my journey.

  These quotes feel true to me.

  
  

  I love that my actions and life choices are too far away from my old ways of being.

   

  It is good to know that I have gone too far and that my art cannot be taken away from me!

  Also, on the podcast it mentioned that Art often is the most expressive after a turmoil or an upheaval, when things appear to be falling apart. Artist rise and give balance to darkness.  

  I know this was true for me. 

  My art balanced out my life.

  Art is quite a healer on so many levels.

  The process of doing art for me; is a life stabilizer, where I find joy, love and peace, where I express my unexpressed emotions, where life makes sense, when life doesn't make sense,and where I found myself, and where my soul felt its worth.

  
  

  Doing Art really is a therapy session for me!

  While it is silent; it speaks.

  Through color, design, and motion or emotion – art and I dance to the beat of my heart.

  I learned in art to do things I love, what makes me feel alive, what brings a smile, where joy is seen. And, my life is me imitating my Art – and sometimes, my art imitates my life.

  
  

  (The quilt I created after falling down many times racing in the Great Bear Chase 10K)

   

  My journey going too far, certainly has been much kinder to me, with my Art.

  My art often is the entry point and breaks the silence of abuse.

  What a journey we have been on; My Lady, my Art and I.

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

  December 21, 2017

  ---

• Living outside the lines!

  What are my life's greatest lessons; so far?

  What have I learned that has impacted my life, and allowed me to be who I am today?

  Is there something that others can learn from me?

  Am I an example, or a lesson?

  Can I be both?

  Will it not be in the eye of the beholder?

  I learned my lessons well as a child.  

  Lessons taught from the viewpoint of a strict religion, a dysfunctional family and my role models didn't rock boats or go outside the lines.

  My lessons were laced in fear.

  Undoing them has been to unravel my emotional and psychological damage IN HOPES of finding a self that I could live with.

  What I am sure many fail to appreciate, is when you have been emotionally, physically and mentally damaged, you can't know if you will find a self that you can live with.

  One who is at peace.

  Who can find joy.

  A self that feels like contentment and fulfillment.

  A whole self.

  Even if she is imperfect, patched and with scars.

  A person you can feel proud of.

  The woman who left the family, wasn't cheered, isn't seen as strong, or kind.

  So, I had to be my own cheerleader first.

  And believe in my strength.

  Feel my kindness to me.

  In life, our inner circles usually are our greatest support. 

  When you try and get healthy and put up boundaries, in a dysfunctional home, the inner circle will become your greatest hurdle.

  My lessons, were to do differently than my mother.

  That left us at complete and utter odds.

  She still tries to be part of my world.  

  I received my 59th birthday card.

  She says, "Love, forever and always", like words mean something.

  My biggest lesson was to do what she could not do.  

  I don't berate her.  

  I know, what it costs me to walk against abuse.

  I know what I lost.

  Many feel they can be vigilant, be aware enough and stay in and around and with relationships where abuse lives.

  I disagree.

  Many feel that kindness and love and acceptance and forgiveness WILL undo the legacy of abuse. 

  I disagree.

  IF, that worked, there would be no abuse in the world.

  My lesson IS that in order for you to be against abuse, you will have to walk away from those who abuse, who support abusers by being kind and family to them…

  My biggest lesson looks like a big failure, for in the end, I end up without a family of origin.

  I stand alone.

  They end up together, gathering as usual. Abuse a blip on the screen, a long while ago – or are they unaware of new blips to yet another generation?

  Both sides are teaching, and learning, and being examples.

  Nothing goes un-noticed.

  Many will see my life as an example of what happens when you do speak up and about and against abuse – you become estranged.

  Still, others will see me as an example of being free of abuse, a strict religion, inauthentic relationships – a free spirit.

  You will see me with your perception.

  And, that perception can change,

  but, will it change Me?

  Who am I to you, will depend upon how you see yourself.

  I have lived life from both sides now, and I love being a free spirit.

  Your eyes in the group will look at me much differently, than those living outside the lines!

  
  

   

   

   

  December 20, 2017

  ---

• How I grew!

  I grew quite a lot in one year.  I experienced things I had never done before and placed myself in situations that were beyond my comfort zone, and I grew.

  I learned how much more I can do and what I am capable of and how the body will rise to each challenge, and I learned how individualized life is. No one really cares more about you; than you.

  I learned I am not a racer.  Trying to beat time didn't ignite me. I enjoy the activity and time actually fades away. It was fun to be part of a team!  The real racers have perfected their skills and are real athletes!  I am a joy rider!  I love being outside with friends!

  
  

  I learned that I can ride far and carry my own supplies.  I learned that my fears are often huge in my head and in real life; quite small.

  I was quite anxious wondering how I would make the ride, the camping and being among new women I didn't know. Setting aside my fears, it went remarkably well. I would LOVE to do this again. It was challenging, and I learned I need better gear; but it was so achievable!  And, I made new friends and found new personal skills.

  
  

  I wonder where I will ride and camp next year and with who? Who will meet and what new place will I discover?

  And, I learned how to ride a Skegway!  Talk about fun – it was discerning and funny all at once.  In one short hour I felt like a pro! I would totally do this again.  My fears, were falling and going out of control, and none of it happened. I can't wait for the next opportunity to do this!

  
  

  And, the ladies of WIND, did a few overnight camping trips and we kayaked, biked and hiked.  I had to learn how to pull a trailer!  It was easier than I thought; but it does require you to think ahead.  I would much rather have my kayaks on the jeep!

  
  

  And, then I tried the paddle boards out!  OH My, they are much harder than I thought, and I can see with a good hip, they would be fun to have.  I would much rather be on the shores of Lake Superior than in town by a dock and bridge and boats. But, hey I was on one, and I stood up and paddled and steered it around – and fell.  Another fear conquered.

  
  

  And then I was part of a Copper Man Team – Team 49916 – And, my segment was to bike 23 miles. 

  Me among some great athletes again.  My hat is off to those who really get into racing and building a strong body. But, as I learned earlier in the year, I am not a racer girl.

  
  

  There were a few of us who dared to enter, knowing we would be in last place.  I loved the cheerleaders, who recognize the courage it takes to be out of your element.

  
  

  As my 58th year comes to a close, I know that I am a finisher! I have danced with my fears and won.  I dared, (which was my word for 2017) and because I dared, I had a wonderful adventurous year!

  I sit on the eve before 59, I am grateful for all that I did in one small year; not counting all the other less fearful moments of joy, hiking, biking, loving, creating, being.

  Life isn't about being fearless.

  It is about letting your fears ride along.

  Gather them close, become friends and see where you will go!

  
  

  I am so looking forward to being 59!

  I will always look fondly at being 58 and how I grew!

   

  December 18, 2017

  ---

• Celebrate Love and Presence

  I brought in some of the tubs to start decorating our home.  My granddaughter was helping me, and was excited to see what we would discover in the buckets.

  Bright bulbs, stars, delicate candles, greenery and lights…we then saw the Mangers, and she said, "I want to play with the barn and girl".

  I then decided, we would not  be putting up the mangers this year.

  I wasn't ready to introduce her to the theme of sin, a savior and her 'unworthiness'.

  How have I celebrated without religion in the past 12 years?

  Do I still want the familiar religious decorations?

  Is there a manger message without sin, and a savior who died, to wipe ours away?

   Can there be a new story about a barn, and a girl, and Christmas?

  How would it read?

  
  

  This girl and how do we celebrate Christmas for her?

  As they say, "Christmas is for children…"

  Maybe it is just a barn and a girl, and we have added the meaning in our minds.

  Meanings and definitions that keeps us all at odds and different from one another.

  The animals are animals in the barn she would love to play with; as would the baby be.

  Perhaps the bigger lesson is for me to look at the manger as she does.

  Without the content of religion.

  And, see just a barn and a girl.

  We can put the manger up to remind us to leave religion out of it.

   

   Let's decorate and focus on being present, to feel love and give what we love.

  Christmas is the season to Celebrate Love and Presence!

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

  November 29, 2017

  ---

• Bad Day.

  When asking "What is a good day?" you can tell a lot about a person.  What has been interesting to me, is that most often the good day is a random day, perhaps one that happens only once a year.

  What then are the other days?

  I am one of the very lucky ones, that has a random bad day. The rest are good days.

  However, I don't believe it was always this way for me. 

  I too, used to have just a few random good days in a year; the rest were a blur of grey heavy responsible ones. Routine and focusing on the wrong things was what had my complete attention.

  When my world fell apart the worst days showed me a part of me that I never met.

  The real me, the little me, the inside of me, my emotional me.

  A self beneath the me.

  This new self was buried under years of denial, religion, societal expectations, fears, and codependency.

  I didn't know her.

  At all.

  Once I became aware of her, I wanted to know more about her.

  What she loved?

  What made her happy?

  Who she felt seen and heard by?

  It was to be carrying a new sense of self inside of me.

  She had silently lived behind my life.

  My Self had yet to live.

  For 46 years she hung back, silent and compliant, lifeless.

  Little by little I allowed her to live.

  We met each choice as if it was new.

  What did she want to do?

  She learned how to say No.

  And, to say Yes to herself.

  We became one.

  The outer layer of me, dropped away and all that is now left is this me.

  The masks are gone.

  The pretending.

  The pleasing to make others happy etc.

  I am a raw self.

  Living this unveiled self has brought me not only good days, but days filled with many good moments.

  I am aware of the small things.

  Time slows down and I feel things.

  All the old things that I used to focus on rarely comes in to view.

  My inner self enjoys life so much more differently.

  The awareness is such that I can't imagine how I lived without it for so many years.

  I can't artfully articulate the difference between denial and Me now.

  I had to look up the Opposite of Denial to see what it was.

  Approval, allowance,permission came up.

  I am allowed to be Me.

  I have given myself permission to be me.

  I approve of being Me.

  When this is your core set point, being allowed to be your self and approving of it, all else is frosting on the cake.

  I have good days, because I am good being Me.

  And, I enjoy and appreciate myself.

  What the core belief of my old religion was, 'we are all weak, sinful, etc'.

  I no longer hold this within me.

  I now come from the place of feeling my unique specialness.

  Which is the tone of this blog. I M Perfect, and it is impossible not to be.

  When you feel perfect, it is really really hard to have a bad day.

  
  

   

  November 2, 2017

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  I woke up to a faint blush in the sky and decided to go out and be with the sunrise.

  It was so peaceful, quiet, and beautiful.  Only a few dog walkers and I were witness to this display.

  
  

  Each time I turned, another artful view I captured.

  
  
  

  And, our day continued with more to see, experience and enjoy.

  
  

  As we were on the Ferry, heading to Madeline Island, my husband said, "It is hard to believe that part of the world is having a hurricane, while we have this.

  
  

  I agreed and told him I had thought the very same thing during my sunrise experience.

  While pondering that thought, it came to me, that we often make our self sad by imagining the hurricane, while being in the opposite. When we are in a place of pure beauty and with someone we love, in complete harmony.  

  We interrupt our peace and go into the thoughts of imagining the storms.

  I then, thought, it was our responsibility to enjoy the peace in our present. To be joy in this moment of time.  It would not lessen the storm for me to be sad; but instead insult the beauty I was surrounded with.

  I was going to be joy. 

  Be peace and feel love on so many levels.

  In the balance of storms of life, I was representing the joy side. And, I was doing it well.

  I soaked up art and nature with someone I love.

  We explored an island and sought out things I loved.

  I stopped and took the picture.  Got out of the Jeep and got up close to things that excited me.  I visited with gallery and studio owners and artists.  My eyes were filled with so much that I loved!

  Sometimes in life, we are in a storm.  Our worlds and emotions are fraught with anxiety and angst.  We learn there.  About ourselves and others. We are often made to choose things to let go of and what to hang on to.  In the moments of storms we grow.

  And, when the storm passes, we are more aware of the beauty that surrounds us. Our emotions are raw and in tune with what is.

  I know the storm.  And, it has made me more aware of the joys of life.

  As Byron Katie says, "It is not my time to suffer."

  Yesterday wasn't my time to suffer.

  It was my time to be the joy in the world.

  The energy I added was infused with love, art, beauty, joy, gratitude and awe!

  It would not have served anyone for me to have been sad on my glorious day.

  I know, that those in the storm, will be different people when they exit it, compared to the ones who walked into it.  It is my hope that they too will be more aware, in tune with emotions and beholders of beauty.

  
  

  

  

  
  

  September 9, 2017

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