Promises and commitments seem to only have real power when they are used for self, when they are used for others we become their slave.
I want my daughter’s decision and commitment to be for her self and not for me, for it to be something she feels obligated to do for her own morals and values, leaving me out of the picture.
If she were to make choices based on what makes me happy, she has just transferred herself over to me for me to rule.
Promises and commitments when made for another seem on the surface to be a nice and friendly thing, yet if you look closer, they become silk chains that now keep you dancing for their happiness.
I do not want my children to live a life that has them chained to my happiness, I want their lives to be driven from the inside out, to do what pleases them and makes them happy.
Defining their own morals and values, owning their responsibility as individuals, being their own character sets them free to make promises to themselves, commitments they want to live by, that leaves us both free.
My actions can’t define her and hers can’t define me.
It is the freedom that is both liberating and scary as hell.
Letting them go to crash and burn or to grow and become strong and independent.
Kicking them out of the nest in my head, letting them grow and stretch into their own lives.
I can no longer catch them when they fall; their falls are much bigger. They have to get back up and travel on.
I think the threads and ties are for the mother’s benefit, I am thinking that our children are much stronger and more resilient than we believe.
While there is freedom when the silk apron strings are cut, there is fear that did we teach them all they need to know?
Are they strong enough to fly?
Life isn’t lived in a straight line without failures; it looks more like a drunkard path.
We all will fall, and stumble, make a bad judgment call, fall off the path and go in the ditch to gather a morsel of wisdom, it isn’t the mistakes we make but how we pick ourselves back up.
We are not born with wisdom we find it in the ditches of life.
I M Perfect lady 