Tag: peer pressure

• Obscuring the view!

  I used to marvel at my husbands ability to move around the planet comfortable in his skin, how his clothing and appearance were secondary always that he seemed to enjoy life without a care.

   

  He wasn’t a participant in the game of looking a certain way, in the contest of having the latest fads, or a living mannequin moving about the planet, he just lived under his own set of rules, being himself.

   

  At times this irritated me, for he didn’t often match the men in a group, but it never seemed to faze him in the least, he arrived for dinner and enjoyed his meal, he got on the boat and enjoyed the ride, he traveled around thoroughly connected to what was, without a barrier between him and what was going on, for he wasn’t concerned how he looked.

   

  This concerning or discerning behavior I had, often times stepped in the way of me relaxing and enjoying myself, for I was so aware of the comparison between me and others, and most often times, me falling short of the mark.

   

  On this trip, I noticed me being much more like him, where I didn’t notice me in the setting, but the setting.

   

  When our cabin didn’t have a hair dryer, I just brushed it and let it go.

   

  In the midst of crowds of people, I was able to move about as me, confident and strong with flat hair, admiring wonderful art, scenic beauty and be totally with my husband, instead of having this drape of not fitting in flapping in front of me obscuring the view!

   

  What freedom lies in just relaxing and facing the world no matter what your outwardly appearance says, inside it says…I feel fine!  I am thinking, that we call it peer pressure trying to keep up the pace with others, when it really is mere pressure of being uncomfortable with who you are.

   

   

  July 6, 2011

  appearances, peer pressure, self-confidence, worrying

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• Caretaker of Me!

  “The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.  If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened.  But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.”

    ~Friedrich Nietzsche

   

  Peer pressure will always be there, the calling of a group, or the pressure to just go along with everyone else, to keep the peace, to not ruffle feathers, and it is usually at the cost of self.

   

  What I think we instinctively feel is that we will be alone IF we go against the pack and it is usually the case, and nobody wants to be the odd man out.

   

  So, instead of owning yourself, you just go along so you are not alone.

   

  Being alone isn’t seen as a worthy goal, going with the flow and peacefully accepting the group consensus is.

   

  What I find so intriguing is that I feel the draw of being part of a group even if it is dysfunctional and painful group!

   

  My old co-dependency feels frightened to be disconnected and separated.  I feel the anxiousness at times of never fitting in or being together like that again.

   

  It is like I have two separate dialogues going on at one time, my free spirit is cheering and celebrating, ‘thank God we don’t have to be part of that ever again,’ and my co-dependency longs to join up, hook up, tag team with anyone, be part of a group of any kind, to fit in and not be dangling free.

   

  Once I can separate who wants what and what I really want, peace settles back in.

   

  What relief that this body is no longer for rent!

   

  I am the owner and caretaker of me! 

   

  May 31, 2010

  alone, being part of group, co-dependent, fitting in, free, independent, ostricized, owning self, peer pressure, separated

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