I M Perfect lady

“Some people will not tolerate such emotional honesty in communication.  They would rather defend their dishonesty on the grounds that it might hurt others.  Therefore, having rationalized their phoniness into nobility, they settle for superficial relationships.” 

~Author Unknown

When I began following my truth and spoke with emotional honesty, it really never occurred to me that I was sealing the deal on having no relationship.

How sad and telling that most of my past relationships were based upon phoniness, either theirs or mine or both.

When I could no longer tolerate the absence of emotional honesty and the other side wasn’t ready for the full exposure to emptiness, our relationship ended.

Our phony relationship lay exposed.

It is funny how you can miss what wasn’t there, how you ache for the closeness you falsely created, incredible to grieve a loss of something you did not have.

It seems mental to feel separated and alone when a phony relationship dies. 

How can I grieve something phony?

How can I love something phony?

How can I have a relationship with phony?

Phony was the only family that I knew, was the only me I knew.

It is funny that you can crave a false thing, something that has no substance, like a drug.

It isn’t the drug itself, but the feeling.

I felt like I belonged.

Now I am standing separated from them.

I am different, perhaps no longer co-dependent.

Feeling strange at being totally alone and separated, yet totally connected to feelings, my emotions and me!

The phony me died, the phony relationships died and they gave birth to a real me.

“It takes two to lie.  One to lie and one to listen.” 

Homer Simpson