I M Perfect lady

As I sit back and ponder my Keynote at Dial Help's Gala, I recall telling Tom Rosemurgy, that I always felt safer when he was there.  It even struck me as odd, for I was mingling and thoroughly enjoying myself, so where did the "unsafe" feeling come from.

It occurred to me while taking my sheets off the line, that what he does is he upholds my truth with me.  He carries it, he believes me.  He, the Law Man.

I felt so safe with Tom and the Dial Help girls and even with the Audience.  Safe meaning my truth about my history was honored.

When I feel that with these kind folks, it makes me understand what "hostile" means.

It means NOT believing in me…

I know that some of my family reads this blog, and they would dispute my claims, that they don't believe me…or my story.  For they would say they do.

Yet the sole reason, I physically as well as emotionally have put distance between us IS their reaction to my truth.

While they were retaining a family, I was tearing it down exposing the abuse.

This is the parting of ways.

Their focus is and has been on keeping the family unit.  Which then leaves me standing there with my abuse showing and them paying more attention to keeping a family, than looking at how it affected me.

What I felt on August 9th, as I moved around the atrium with My Lady quilts fully displayed, were folks who seen me.

Their first agenda or words to me were not why I wasn't with my parents etc.

They were extremely attentive to the journey an abused person travels in order to regain their power.

My speech will not win ribbons, but what I love, Love, LOVE is that I did it.

I stood up and gave it my best first shot.

Against the family grain, I did what they don't want me to do.  Focus on Abuse and speak of estrangement.

I am not even certain, they realize that I am estranged…due to their lack of being with my truth and not with the family.  I have felt that they hold me entirely responsible for my poor choice of keeping away from family members, functions and exiting relationships.

How many folks would stay with someone who required you to keep your truth away.

I just read today in a book titled, "A Shining Affliction- A story of Harm and Healing in Psychotherapy" by Annie Rogers….

"I feel we're not talking about me – as I know myself."  She does not respond.  I go on. "When I say something really important to me, it doesn't seem to matter to you."  As I speak, her face is closed.  My words go out into the air and dissolve, as if I've said nothing – or worse, they hang in the room as if I've said the wrong thing.  I keep trying, as if I can find something that will interest Melanie and compel a response.  Then I give up, and we sit in silence again."  

 This is fairly close to the reaction my family has given me…What a great paragraph to depict why we feel the hostility.  There is no welcoming of our truths.

Here is a picture of Tom…that I love.  He never, not ever, closed his face and let my truth hang in the room as if I had said something wrong. He is a gift to all victims who find the courage to speak up.  And he passed me on to An-Gel, who also accepted me completely.  The ease we have with each other is priceless.  They help carry my truth.  

And here is one of my new friend Barbara Rose. We felt an immediate connection.  I feel humble by her hearing me.  Sitting with my buddy Kirsten Menigoz, who when we met felt a strong immediate comfortableness…old souls reunited.   

Imagine what a fine reception for my truth!  A beautiful venue…and even Live music of Melissa Davis.

Thanks Melissa…it added a wonderful lively touch.

Here I am in my speech talking about loving my lady, even without hair and standing like this.

I love my open stance, strong and sure.

And I love this one of the three of us. These two ladies are working hard to help victims…and I have now joined their team.  

It certainly was a night to remember…a place that honored my truth….stood in reverence of my quilts…I was completely at home there, for my truth was welcomed in.

Thanks to all the Dial Help Team, Tom and the community!  I am humbled by it all.