Away from them.

In a discussion about the FALC church, and similar others, was…whether it is a cult, cult-like or how it would be defined. I found it remarkable how some will not see the forrest for the trees or maybe how they want to keep sweet or make nice; that which misses the mark 9 out of 10 times.

It leads me to wonder how much off you can be, before you are really way off the mark? What does it take to change your mind about something?  And is it really the misses that count or the cost it would have for you to see things clearly?

I wonder about the stubborn mind.

I wonder about the mind who refuses to account for the negatives OR use the negatives to balance out the positives so you end up in a neutral place…of say cordial kindness…harmlessness.

I was also challenged with this today, in a comment on the Ex-toots blog. "To simplify people is to abandon critical thinking; it is extremism from the other side of the fence."

I looked up critical thinking to see what it had to say first, so I knew what was what.

"Critical thinking is a way of deciding whether a claim is always true, sometimes true, partly true, or false."

Am I off the mark in seeing things as either true or false?

Is there really an area in all things that is neither or both?

What am I missing in this?  

I don't believe I am simplifying folks, but rather the opposite.  To me simplifying is to not see the darkness.  

Is it that we want to put the dark side and the light side and make them equal so we are both right?

In the same comment, I was asked,  "I challenge you to ask yourself: what part of you wants to fault your siblings for accepting your parents as more than their bad acts, as worthy of love? What part of you wants them to be like you?"

I am not certain about this whole tone of questioning, it almost makes it seem like it is my fault for faulting them. And, that It is my fault in that I don't see them (parents) worthy of love.

I wonder when they get to be viewed?…and is there a mutual responsiblity in relationships?  

I believe there is.

I do not believe, anymore, in the onesided lopsided relationships where one person gives and loves and the other continues to mistreat and behave in abusive manners.

And, there were a few more questions…."What would you lose by validating their complexity and humanity? Of embracing what you have in common instead of what separates you?"

I am not certain I would lose by validating their complex humanity.  I would lose more by not validating it.  I do validate it.  I am under no illusion about the mind and its capabilities to distort and control the lives of humanity.

And, what we have in common isn't so much what I see, but what they fail to see…or see with the same eyes. I see us as equals…coming from whence we all came.

What always puzzles me is that I am challenged to make nice.

I am challenged to see the complexity and humanity.

I am challenged to see them worthy of love…..

AND, they are not challenged to do the same….or even remotely equal.

It seems to me these questions are being asked of the wrong person.

What I have found is that more often than not, people will challenge me and my actions and never give a second glance at the actions of either the church and/or my parents…and siblings.

The spot light shines upon the one who shines into the darkness…but the darkness doesn't have to explain its roles or behaviors….and certainly no one challenges it.

Instead of asking me to be a critical thinker, perhaps ask that of yourself.

I have done years and years of being a critical thinker and have faced truths and falsehoods along the way.  I haven't been extreme on one side or the other…well perhaps I am extremely interested in seeing the truth.

To me, it just doesn't seem that the critical eye is upon the source of the agnst, but it is fully directed at me.  

Where is the challenge to the abusers?

Where is the challenge to the supporters…passive or aggressive…past or present?

I don't know why I need to explain my side and they don't have to explain theirs.

If you ask, will they answer?

Is it easier to ask me…for you don't fear my answers?  Or are you just wanting the spotlight to fall away from them…