I M Perfect lady

Dates on the calendar can stir up memories – a glimmer of significance to the day. My father would have turned 96 today – he’s been gone now 13 years – but he was gone for me long before that time.

It is different when you lose someone you were already estranged from – and your memories are tainted by his worst deeds.

What I don’t have are heart felt memories – or sadness that he’s gone. It is a void where a father should have stood.

So a date arrives and it is unusual with its significance- a day that used to be – and his life it feels was one that brought pain.

I don’t follow the news, but there are many who do – and many who feel the angst of all that is going on. I don’t have answers for the multiple things that are wrong – but what I do know is that within my family of origin when all seemed lost – what I focused on was what I could do in my small corner of the world.

I could gather Love, Peace and Joy.

I wasn’t changing the devastation my father’s life did.

I wasn’t changing the lives of those who suffered – I couldn’t.

But, I could affect change in my small circle. I was able to use my life to live the opposite. I live with intention and keep as much love, peace and joy in my world.

There are things we have influence over and there are millions that bring stress – and where we can do nothing.

I believe if each of us sought out more of what we love, what brought joy and held peace, the world would tilt in that direction.

I knew if I focused on my father’s deeds and the suffering and pain he sowed – I would have shriveled up and died inside.

When I vowed to not let him define my life – I turned towards a new direction.

It wasn’t easy at first – it felt awkward to turn away from so much bad – to seek instead the things that warmed my heart. Over time the new habit became my life.

Even today as so much is upside down and backwards in this country – I still center myself on the choices I can make to bring love and light to my little world.

It is during the darkest of times, we need more art – in all categories. We can send waves of positive energies out into the world each day by what we spend our days doing.

Perhaps in honor of a life so wrongly lived – it is a must for his daughter to live hers well.

Art is a sanctuary for my troubled mind- or when my left brain is stressed. There is joy letting the right side play.