I M Perfect lady

Category: Current Affairs

  • All Used Up

    I have been trying to write about a year in review and there seems to be two years – or two different things going on at once.

    The pandemic is flowing over many months, it is the background noise of this year; but to me it isn't the only thing this year.

    I don't feel that 2020 was a bad year.

    There was 2020 and then the pandemic. I don't think it is fair to lump them together.

    I believe we can choose on which parts of 2020 we want to remember and highlight.

    Judging the year by the virus that arrived, somehow seems unfair for the year.

    Or, by the political divisions that seem to be showcased too often.

    And, we could focus on those who walked in the pandemic differently than us; but we can also choose to remember the ones who walked with us.

     

    I see the year in ways that are much more normal than not.

    Perhaps I have adjusted to this new pandemic lifestyle.

    Maybe being less social suits my personality.

     

    There are family things I did miss; but the family is there and will be there in my future.

    The loss doesn't feel as acute as other losses I have experienced.

     

    My pictures show a year of love.

    The people I love and spend time with.

    And, the many things I love to do.

     

    I see 2020 as another year of being me.

    Where moments turn into days and then months.

    I felt I was still able to decide how I would be in each moment and what I would focus on.

     

    The few weeks of fear – turned into acceptance and compliance – doing my part in the pandemic WHILE still living my life. We had a smaller playground to play in and less people in our worlds; but I feel I still lived.

     

    Travel was greatly reduced and done with more caution than before. We tried to balance the caution of the virus with living.  We made choices we were willing to live with the consequences.

    Dates turned into picnics and car rides.  We still ate out; but with take out.

    I believe a bigger loss would be to have stopped living in the pandemic for it means you lost almost a year.

    Instead I chose to live as loud as I could under new constraints.

     

    2020 was a year to prove how much empathy we held inside, how resilient and creative we are and how adaptable. It was a year to live in a pandemic and not just fear the virus. But, to live in spite of the virus.

    There were also things that were recommended; like taking Vitamin D, of exercise and fresh air, and eating healthier, reducing stress and anxiety. Ways of helping your body be strong and resilient itself – so as to have a better chance if or when the virus arrived.  Those things made me feel empowered and not just waiting to be struck sick.

     

    I see the year of 2020 as becoming a grandma to a little boy.

    I see me going grey.

    I see me getting healthier.

    I see me having more space and less social obligations or stresses.

    I see me enjoying more free time.

    I see me playing with family and friends, doing what I love.

    I see me one year closer to retirement.

    I see me living.

     

    Mostly I see 2020 as a year of opportunities that I said yes to. 

    I didn't miss out on very much.

    Maybe 2020 was the year for introverts and nature lovers; a Good Year.

     

    As the new year approaches, it is my intention to continue to live as if this is my last.

    For, one of the themes I felt this year, was that if the virus was to get me, I had lots of living to do first.

    Perhaps that is how we should always live. For, we don't really know what the end date is.

    2020 for me was a good year.

    2021 is looking good too.

    I am deciding right now to look at the good things, to be resilient and creative with the bad and be grateful for all that I love.

    It is hard to know when one year stops and another starts – for our life flows from one moment to the next. How we spend the moments; become our years.

    I spent mine well.

    They are all used up.

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  • Disturb the comfortable.

    "Art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable." Cesar A. Cruz.

     

    What is the role of artists in a land that is fueled by division?

    What can we as individuals do to balance the imbalance?

     

    When things seem the most insane, what is the sane thing to do?

    How can we knit together a human moral and value system that includes all?

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    My intentions are to support those who are trying to evolve humanity.

    Or, even more themselves.

     

    Each of us have one life and live in close proximity with our own truths.

    I celebrate those who have adventured into new territories from that which they were raised.

    Explored different pathways and byways.

    Sought and created friends from different walks of life.

    All of this will create a beautiful tapestry of difference; where it will be harder to see the other as 'evil'.

     

    What seems like "evil" is often another way of life.

    Another's journey, that we know nothing about.

    We can't know where they have walked, and the choices that were available.

     

    Let us all be reminded we are more alike than we are different and help each other out of their complacency of systems that were designed to exclude huge segments of humanity.

    As an artist, I will strive to disturb the comfortable.

     

     

     

     

     

  • Before It Is Okay

    "Freedom is being okay, before things are okay."

     

    Freedom is when you are okay – before this or that happens.

    Being okay with this present moment, and knowing you can be okay if things go differently than you would like them to.

     

    Being okay, is about you.

    It isn't about what the world outside is or is not doing.

     

    There truly is very little we control – it all comes down to self.

     

    Perhaps it is best to decide today, how you will respond to the election IF it doesn't go according to your vote. Decide how you will feel; but mostly how you will act. What will you change in your life?

     

    The whole country seems to be in an heighten state of anxiety; both from the Covid Virus and the Election that has filled our worlds in the past many months.  And, social media feeds are fueling both – and we can chose to engage or not engage or even perhaps how to engage in things that pop up on our feeds.

     

    If you haven't watched "Social Dilemma" you may want to check it out.  It is on Netflix.  Some of us fear the political party opposite of who we voted for. We may want to look deeper into what is driving the dialogues and how much of our days are spent on social media and what are our gains OR more what we lose.

     

    Being cognizant on what you are putting out into the world – means being aware of your own thoughts, beliefs and what they mean to the world at large. What it means to your future and those around you.

    Does everyone in your circle think alike?  Do they all believe like you do?  How do they bring in good energy and block toxic behaviors?

     

    I am guilty of writing about things that confound me and trying to raise critical thinking; especially towards cults and strict religions and dysfunctional families.

    I wonder what is a better use of my time?

     

    What makes you think differently?

    How can we entertain new thoughts and evolve humanity in directions that will cause more harmony, and less division?

    I don't think we need to be passive or to live in a non-reality. But, each of us make up the landscapes we live in. Each of us are participating in creating the world we will leave behind.

    Our individual legacies will be what echoes after we are gone.

    Do we want to leave outrage and disgust OR hope of changing the world; by changing our world and growing a more open mind.

    In my experience, the more my mind has opened; so has my heart.

    I have a broader sense of humanity and the myriad of differences that are being expressed.

    I am less certain that I and my limited beliefs and knowing, have any answers for others.

    I leave others to know what is best for them.

    Which reminds me of Byron Katie's words –

    "I don't know what is best for me or you or the world. I don't try and impose my will on your or on anyone else. I don't want to change you or improve you or convert you or help you or heal you. I just welcome things as they come and go.That's true love. The best way of leading people is to let them find their own way."

     

    As we all continue to find our own ways. Let us try and be kinder to what we don't know or understand or believe.

    Let us be okay; before it is okay.

     

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  • Our own free will.

    Below is a link I was given – to help me understand how some churches support Donald Trump.

    https://cornerstonechapel.net/?page_id=418&i=1538

    In listening to this, I do understand more.  

    I understand why they would not want change to come to a system that their religion fits into so comfortably.  One that appears to match their interpretations of the Bible.  A system that sees the world, as they see the world.

    It matches, and is comfortable.

    And, it keeps 'evil' out.

     

    What my experience of my religion was, is that those who didn't believe like us or who would threaten our beliefs, they were evil.  If their morals and values didn't match ours, they were seen as threats.

     

    When religion gets into politics, it gets real messy really fast.

     

    Then politics start to look more like a religion – and morals and values are passed through the lens of certain religions.  God starts to be pigeon holed into places and removed from others.

    Maybe when religion gets into humanity, we all lose.

     

    What I know, is that without a religion, I don't fear anything threatening who I am, what I stand for, and how I live my life.  I don't want a religion trying to interfere with my own moral compass.

     

    I am one of the lucky ones. I can freely live as myself – and I have privilege to do so.

     

    Yet, there are many religions whose teachings look down upon others and take away their rights to be themselves.  And, often these religions, see themselves are morality keepers.

     

    I listened to Matthew McConaughey's book and a few of his interviews – About "Greenlights" his book.

    What he would like to see is all of us agreeing on values as humanity.

    What do we as humanity value most?

    What will give respect to all?

    What are the values that will serve all of humanity, not just a few who happen to look and believe like us.

    Value–

    "the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth…"  

    "a person's principles or standards of behavior; one's judgment of what is important in life.

     

    What are the principles and standards for being human?

    What can our government do to help raise the value of all of us?

    Humanity will benefit greatly when all of us are seen as valuable.

     

    What I value is individual-ness, uniqueness – people being their authentic selves. I don't want cookie cutter groups of humanity. I don't want sameness. I want each of us to be able to live fully in our own expressions of who we are.  

    There are aspects of government that are tricky and messy and when we all work towards value, perhaps we can see clearer.  

    I don't want a government that values one religion over another. One way to see God over another. One sex of humanity over another, one sexual preference over another…

    Mostly the evolution and peacefulness of humanity will be when we all see our individual value as well as the value of all others.

    I do think we vote for what matters to us. 

    What matters to me, is that we all get to live our lives reaching our highest potential.  

    We will not all rise to the same level or become the same; but we will bring our uniqueness to the world.

    A world of beautiful individuals being themselves.

     

    We all lose when there is someone using their power to take away the power of another.

    We will all gain, when we can become self-empowered.

     

    A relationship that has two empowered individuals living their lives to their highest – is one that honors each person. That is the humanity I want to live with.  

    Isn't that what God gave us – our own free will.

     

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  • The Loud Few

    When I read in the paper – " the silent majority are just dying to speak up" – I thought how confused they are.  The Silent Majority doesn't speak up.  They don't go in parades that would show their sides. They are silent.

    Here is the definition of the Silent Majority.

    "The silent majority is an unspecified large group of people in a country or group who do not express their opinions publicly."

     

    When you are in a Trump train of vehicles – you have stepped out of the silent majority and have chosen a side.  

     

    I am confused.

    By how so many self proclaimed conservative religious folk  (FALC and Old Apostolic )are supporting Trump.

    I cannot see how they can overlook so much about him.

    I feel that who he is, what he stands for is at odds with their principles.

    Yet, maybe their principles are now showing.

     

    Their religious values don't seem to meld with his character – or do they?

     

    When the book and the bird disagree – believe the bird or  

    Birds of a feather flock together.

     

    Something between the two seem to match – it may be deeper than just the outer words.

    The systems they both use?

    I truly am confused by how vehemently they have thrown their support for him.

     

    I also wondered if politics and religion have ever been so closely aligned or in bed together?

    I don't recall the actual political leaning of my old religion.  If it had one, I wasn't aware.

    Do religions pick candidates?

    Or do most churches remain silent.

     

    Again, the character of the man – and the character of the folks within these strict religions has to match.

    Or, what are you drawn to when you vote?

    Do you vote for a person's character?

    Is it possible not to have your character involved in being president?

    Or more, does character matter in your religions?

    In your partners, and friends?

    When does character matter?

    I have more questions and puzzlements with the strict religions in our area who are so loud about Trump.

    I just truly don't get it.

    And, then I do.

     

    I do understand the juxtaposition, the sleight of hands, the facade and the truth.  My experience of what I thought the church was and what it turned out to be, was completely the opposite.

    It was empty of the morals and values I believed were there.

     

    A part of me is still fighting for the church.

    For it to have deep rooted morals and values, to have humanity at its core.  

    And yet,  many of you are showing me, affirming my experience, that the character of the church matches Trump.

     

    To have him the presidential candidate –  of the strictest religions up here boggles my mind.

    He has become even bigger than the head of the church.

    Or so it looks to me, from the outside.

     

    It is weird to say the least.

    "When someone shows you who they are, Believe them the first time." Dr. Maya Angelou

    Harder than believing who Donald Trump is, IS believing who the strict religious people are who are aligned with him.  Who are these people really?

    Again, this is an old religion of mine.

    One that failed me and still I was wanting more from them.

    More value, more morals, more character… more wisdom and intellect and kindness. More humanity and wanting more for everyone – Equality and choices and women's rights etc…when I know, this isn't what their religion is about.

    Which is why they match.

    Donald Trump is the political representation that equals their religion.

    They are not the silent majority; but the loud few.

     

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    My free spirit parade – humanity all being equal in love peace and joy.

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • Living Out Our Legacy

    We – here in the UP – are just over 2 months into Social Distancing, and learning about a new virus, and the ways it has affected our world.

     

    It is new.

     

    We have never been here before.

     

    We are not good with new.

     

    We typically believe we know the future, based on the past.

     

    However, the future is just a guess.

    Perhaps an educated guess, but still a guess.

     

    We can't know much, when something is new.

     

    We are being asked to live in the space of uncertainty.

    Many of us act like we have never been here before.

    Yet, we all live in uncertainty, we just don't want to acknowledge it.

     

    If we don't look at how uncertain our lives are, we can feel it is steadier than it is.

     

    The only thing certain, IS uncertainty.

     

    Some of us, were shaken out of our certainty, when we faced something that arrived in our worlds, unplanned, unseen, and uncontrollable.

    We quickly learned, that stuff happens, and our only control is how we engage with it.

    We don't have to like it, but we have to dance with it, regardless.

     

    I learned that no matter how much control you think you have in your life, it is all a facade.

    We are actually swinging pretty freely in the land of uncertainty.

    For the most part we are guessing as we go.

    Hoping that if we make the right choice today, we control tomorrow.

    But truly, where does our control really lie?

    What do we control?

     

    Giving up control and relaxing into uncertainty, truly is a gift of living life well.

    Or, perhaps of being burned really bad, when you thought you had your future all planned, and then your world turned upside down.

     

    The uncertainty that goes with this pandemic, has me practicing uncertainty and being okay.

    We can each use our words and actions to engage with it – live, while living in a pandemic.

     

    We each get to decide to take things more cautiously or disregard most measures.

     

    There may be real consequences.

    What parts are you willing to gamble with?

    I am unwilling to gamble with an outcome that could be deadly.

    It isn't fear as much as I respect the nature of the virus.

    The virus itself does what it does.

    We are still learning about its nature.

    There is more we don't know, than know.

     

    In my world, where I am still working, and actually working harder than before, I can only social distance so much – at work.  

    After hours, I am maintaining a pretty low profile.

    Until more is known, until we can get more history with this virus, I am treating it like a stranger, and keeping my distance.

     

    We will begin to learn more and more, as many are dropping the social distance stance.

    Time will gather facts.

    We will become less uncertain.

    Each of us will have our history with it.

    And, as we look back what will each of us regret?

    The moments we missed,

    or the ones we wished we had?

     

    The history of Covid 19 is being written while we are living through this pandemic.  Each of us are part of its history.  Years from now we will get to look back and the parts we played in these moments of uncertainty.

     

    I have been in an uncertain play before.  And, each time a choice was being asked of me, I always chose one that I could live with, and one that I could explain to my children with a restful conscience. Often the choices I had to make, they were the hardest to walk.  

     

    As each day passes, more info is being gathered, we are moving forward with the virus, uncertainty will grow into certainty in hindsight. 

    Again, we will all stand on one side of the virus debate. The followers of the recommendations, and those who wanted their liberty of disregarding them.

    There will be the history of the virus for sure, but there will also be our own histories.  

    We truly write today, what will become our past tomorrow.

    Living out our legacy.

     

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  • Driving on the Right!

    My Jeep is in the Body Shop for repairs from the Hit and Run.  I had planned for me to be out of town for part of it, knowing I would not be a happy mail lady delivering from a car. 

    The trip was cancelled, but not the body repairs.

     

    I was given a loaner car. (For which I am very grateful, otherwise I would have had to rent one.) A pontiac.  A low to the ground pontiac. Oh my gosh, I was amazed at just how low it was.  I hit my knee on the first try in, and knew I was in for a not so fun week ahead.  

    Or a funny week.

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    Mondays are typically heavy mail days, so I took the day off, so not to be overwhelmed on my first ride in the car. 

     

    Yesterday was a tough day, mentally and physically.  I was spent and not very happy. And, there were many moments that I appeared to be a crazy lady.

    I have not driven a left hand drive vehicle much in the past 10 years.  

    What typically are mindless movements, had me confused.

    Just figuring out what side was the drivers side – had me always on the wrong side; puzzled when I opened the door to see a mail tray.

    Or, standing by the trunk, lost without a handle.  I would have to go back and click the key  fob – Again, and again with each package – forgetting to have foresight.

     

    In order to maneuver a left hand drive vehicle for mailbox delivery, I have to be able to reach easily out the right-hand side of the vehicle.  Which means to drive and reach, I sit in the middle.  Now, while I was a backup delivery girl, I did this all the time. I got used to it, no big deal.  But after years in a right hand vehicle, this seemed backwards and clumsy.

    I control the pedals with my left leg, and steer with my left arm.

    In order to get out of the vehicle, I have to scoot over onto the seat.  

    I don't scoot like I did when I was young and would sit by a boyfriend. 

    I huff, puff, and get to the edge and then roll out sorta.

    The buckle that holds the seat belt, reminds me it is there, only when I feel it dig into my hip or my bottom.

    The ceiling of the newer cars, have a place for sunglasses and stuff, and I need to dip before I scoot.  The times I forgot to dip, I would knock my hat off.  Chuckle sometimes and swear other times. I feel like a flop out all out of breath and sorts!

    The middle seat in the car really isn't a seat seat.  It usually has the console or cupholder down.  I flip that up and then sit there or mostly there, but also on the passenger seat edge, which slopes down for the seat part of that seat. Which if you were really sitting all the way in it, it would fit your bottom well.  

     

     

    These struggles are just to be in the vehicle and deliver.  

    I know I have done this, I know many do it; but it is hard to go backwards from a right hand made for delivery vehicle to just a regular make do one.

     

    So, the next fun part is figuring out how to organize in order to actually have a workable mail car and keep the packages and mail easily in reach.  

    I had a variety of cars when I was the backup mail lady. Some had dashboards that were awesome and flat, or glove boxes that would hold my drink, or ashtrays that made perfect yogurt holders.  Some had wonderful big backseats, where my tubs could fit neatly to hold small packages etc. Trunks with low entry for getting in heavy mail trays with ease. Or big and roomy to hold large packages and a bigger volume.

    Each car has character points that make it an acceptable mail car.

    Even the height of the car makes a difference.

     

    Where the mail goes and packages big and small all depend upon the vehicle you have.

    It takes time to orientate yourself, and the mail, for a smoother delivery.

     

    This pontiac seemed to have everything I didn't need.  The slope on the dash has my phone sliding off, mail and small packages, that I automatically place there.  No safe place for a lunch, and the tubs and trays are so so placed.  You can deliver from there, but it gets on your every nerve and by the second half of the route, my body is done and done sitting so awkwardly.  You get slap happy for everything seems like a struggle and you are not up for each little task.  I haven't felt this inept in a long while!

     

     

    This pontiac as I said is low. Like the hood of it is lower than the bumper on my jeep, low.

    So, you can imagine my view compared to the jeep when looking at mailboxes. There are literally a few mailboxes I cannot reach, let alone see into.  

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    While this one was high, it isn't the highest on the route. I just looked up and laughed.  Like really???  My arms seemed too small.  And, If I reach too far out of the window, my foot slips off the brake….and I roll forward.  Insane and hilarious!

     

    Today flags were up on a couple of high boxes, which the only way to serve them, was for me to get out and retrieve the mail.  Not the safest practice for sure, but it felt good to be out of the car – after I scooted, huffed and puffed, sometimes hat on, other times hat off.  I am sure folks will start wondering when I exit the vehicle to deliver mail. 

     

    If my backup had a car, I would put notices in the high boxes, the 'regulation height is 46 inches off the ground", which is not a commonly known fact.  

    By the time I get back to the Post Office, my body, mind and soul are spent.  Just from operating a different tool than what I typically use on my job.

    I also noticed, I didn't look about as much. Well for one, I seem so low to the ground. In fact today a pheasant almost flew into my open window.  That I did see.   But, with so much that is out of sorts, my vision became closer to my needs.

    I have always been grateful for my jeep. I have worried about its safety, knowing if and when something happened to it, I would be back in a left hand drive vehicle, which I would have to make do, to do my job.  Doable, but the stress takes all the fun out of running mail.

    My jeep is scheduled to be done on Friday. The guys at the body shop, sorta knew I needed it returned as quickly as possible.  I can only hope they do not run into any snags.

    My backup lady, who did the mail on Monday, asked me on Tuesday morning IF I had practiced driving the car. I replied, "No.  It will be like riding a bike."  Well, I then had to tell her, 'Yeah it is like riding a bike, a bad bike."  A bike with a bad seat, handle bars to far to really reach comfortably and same with the pedals.  

    Today was a bit better.  I am learning to adapt to less than ideal tools, and my body was less sore. Which is sorta scary, that it too is adapting to slouching, stretching, and leaning.

    I have two more days to go, (hopefully) in the pontiac – and oh what a happy mail lady I will be to be back in the bright green jeep!

    I most likely will still be a bit crazy, huffing and puffing and with crazy hair and hat; but I will no longer be stressed about the vehicle!

    It is not a necessity, or a must have, but it certainly takes 75%, at least if not more, stress away from my job when I am driving on the right!

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • Revolting against It

    We see the world through our beliefs, our fears and often our guilt, and even our wishes.  

    It is hard to get a clear view of reality.  

    A reality that is stripped of everything but actions.

     

    Reality is often divided into those who see, and those who are blind.

    Or more, those who believe and then the nonbelievers.

     

    In my experience, it is near impossible to change someone else's mind.

    Or, to clear their vision.

     

    The believers believe in that which they have been programmed to believe.

    Actions will not sway them, facts will not be allowed to enter into their already made up minds. 

     

    Reality doesn't care what you believe or what programs you have running in your head.

    Reality is.

    And, wins only but 100% of the time.

     

    There is no point in fighting, fearing and arguing with it.  The sooner you can come to peace with reality, the more conscious your choices will be.

     

    As a wise woman said, "In the moment of a crisis, you are only given a few choices."

     

    In the case of this pandemic, we only have a few choices. We are either part of the slow down or part of the problem.

     

    What has been so interesting to me, is that the folks who belong to a very strict religion, a religion who has been telling them what to believe and directing their lives since childhood, are now up in arms about the government "TELLING THEM WHAT TO DO!

    I am perplexed by their response.

    And, then not.

     

    The religion dogma or conditioning is a sleight-of-hands, in which they have been brainwashed; but feel they have free will.

    This is very hard to understand or for me to articulate.

    Brainwashed controlled folks, acting like they are free, and that the government is trying to control them. They don't want to have their rights taken away, when they have already given them up to the church.

    What free liberties do they truly have?

    The women do not have rights to their own bodies.

    The things they are not allowed to do – sins – control them in ways they cannot see – BUT they feel they are free.  Freely choosing to not do this or that.

     

    It blows my mind, and not. That the most controlled folks are now up in arms about the government telling us to stay home for the health of others.  

    They are more concerned about their rights and being controlled, then infecting others by their actions; or non actions.

     

    Their fear of losing their power, which is already gone, is what is causing them to act irrationally.

     

    Perhaps it is their subconsciousness making them revolt. They can't afford to lose whatever small freedoms they have left.

     

    It isn't the Covid 19 that has them in fear.  It is the way the government is choosing to slow down its spread. They are unwilling to lose their freedom to save the life of someone they don't know.  

    And, I am sure some are afraid of the loss of their jobs, money and what it will do to them financially. But, what I hear most is the conspiracy and how the quarantine is infringing upon their rights.

     

    Mostly, it is complicated. We are all coming from different walks of life, being asked to do the same thing.  

    Being one that still has to work, my circumstances feel different.  We try to follow the rules while being out and about.  

    I respect the virus, and I fear those who are revolting against it.

     

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  • I am Full

    While continuing to play in my basement, I listened to a podcast with Michael Gervais. His podcast is "Finding Mastery" – I can't find the one where I heard this – "Fear is the natural response to the Unknown." 

    They went on to talk about breaking down our fear, in how we can take it down to day at a time, an hour at a time, or focus on right here right now.

    He also mentioned, that fear that goes on long term – turns into anxiety.

     

    This is critical for so many who are in fear of the outcome of our lives with the Covid 19 looming among us.  We have to break the cycle of fear.  Interrupt our thoughts, by doing something that will put fear in the backseat.

     

    Which answers the question of whether it is a good thing for me to do Sunday Art.

     

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    These ladies were created by a wonderful artist seamstress. She was going to toss them out, and I saved them a few years ago.  In the past few days, I thought about putting clothes on them.

    So, today I tried.

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    Working with 3D art is way not in my wheel house.  I was stressed immediately.  

    My conclusion is to not try new

    things that make you anxious during this time.

    I think, if I didn't try real hard, but perhaps sewed them right on, in a weird not clothing creating way, I may like it.  

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    I tossed some yarn on her head and that was that.  I do like the clothes, and I can see how a personality could rise – depending upon what I could create.  They can afford to wait a few more months until I have a calmer sense of being.

    So, I then went back to the Flat Art. 

    On the route last week,

    I thought about making my own Large Flower Background, and so I tried.

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    I will now have a canvas to start next week's Sunday Art. And, I finished off my Art time feeling less stressed.

    The art in its unfinished stages are seeds for next week.

    I have heard it is best to leave things not quite finished, so that you have an easy place to hop onto when you re-enter your art space.

    Sitting here feeling like I had a good Sunday of Art!

    I am full.

  • Sunday Art is My Fuel

    Continuing to do Sunday Art feels like a luxury that is a staple.  

    A frivolous routine that I use to refuel myself, and escape the reality of Covid 19.

     

    The heaviness of doing something practical overwhelmed me immediately.

     

    Lightness and joy filled me as I decided, Sundays were still for being an artist!  Engaging with this part of me offsets the rest of the week.  My week would be way too heavy without it.  And, if that bright spot is always open for me to enter, I feel normal, safe and that life is okay.

     

    That being said, I went down to make large flowers, since all my panels which were few are gone.  

    I stumbled upon a fabric with delightful flowers.  I was so happy to quilt them!

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    I never know where my art will take me, what will appear and how.

    I then, looked at this as an Art mural and sidewalk.

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    Once the drawing is down, I then will select fabric that seems to want to be part of this landscape.

    It is fun to see what will appear, work and grow together.  

     

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    And, then how what makes it come alive.

    The words and bird and hearts help!

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    What I thought of as I sewed, was how we are all being asked to make the best out of difficult situation.  

    We are having to keep a tight small circle; and some are down to a circle of one.  

    Alone; but surrounded by nature, words, art and those who are our rocks of support.

     

    I know when my life was at its darkest, the two huge therapies for me was outdoors and art.  Often the people of my life seemed to complicate an already dark place.  Yet, they were crucial to my wellness. 

    Perhaps maybe nature and art – was the fuel I needed to survive what I thought then was the unsurvivable.  And, there were many who cheered me on; but couldn't truly understand where I was.  

    In this, many are experiencing our path.  We are not alone; even when we are alone.

    We have many who are in the same boats. 

     

    Maybe we can share with each other the things that help us through difficult times. The tools that we seem to be drawn to.  

    Even when life was 'normal' for me, Sunday Art was critical to my overall wellness. I need a place that is my own, where I can slip into a space where time and reality disappears.

    Sunday art is my fuel.