Putting up boundaries to keep someone out is where I still get a little shaky. Yet it’s those times when I feel toxic energy seeping in, that I must erect a boundary in place. It is imperative to my healing.
Set up the space to keep me safe.
Peter Levine says on his CD, “Sexual Healing” that boundaries are key to healing.
He explains how if you have no boundaries you get stuck in that place, that trauma that abuse, the hollering, and the drama. But if you can erect a boundary, it is the opening to which you flow into.
It is the stopping power that I lost as a child that I can now use as big person, one that will restore my leaking boundaries.
Stopping them from coming into my world. I have the power to keep people out, where as a child I had none.
Who knew that trauma is about being boundary less, which is why the world seems so scary, you are unable to protect yourself.
Or you have the reverse, still no boundaries and no contact with feelings, so anyone can stomp all over you, again powerless to more and more abuse.
What I failed to realize is that healing is having boundaries.
Actually stopping toxic people from walking on you is healing.
In fact he says, having memories or not doesn’t matter, it is the process of completing the action where the healing stops.
Traumatized people get left in the trauma energy, the tightness, and the constricted fear with no way out.
He teaches you to flow between being comfortable and going into the tightness or stiffness of neck and places where you are stressed and then into places where you feel comfort, the ebb and flow.
It is so exciting when you find that you can exit a place, a feeling, a stressful moment, a relationship, a situation, and a conversation, to be the one to ask for space.
Space between you and harm.
Asking for space is the healing.
When you are the one who stops the harmful interaction you are healing, you are completing the cycle of abuse.
You are getting out of the way, instead of being frozen unable to move, unable to speak, to have a boundary.
“Boundaries are the key to healing.”
I M Perfect lady 