I M Perfect lady

Tag: Bikram

  • We Begin Again.

    "I exist in perpetual creative response to whatever is present."  Martha Beck

     

    In yoga today, I was watching how I felt in each posture, where my attention was or my attitude, was I accepting or enduring or somewhere in the future.

     

    Today I wasn’t fighting Bikram and the length of time he wanted me to stay with the posture, nor was I expecting me to do beyond what I did.

     

    If I went in very mindful and controlled and had a good breathing sequence going, I was amazed at how much more I could do.

     

    In fact I did so well on the Balancing Stick, I was eager to tell you all, but the next two were horrible, for I was ahead of the pose, expecting a perfect one before I even began, based on the prior one.

     

    Well, the prior one was gone, it was a whole new game, and I didn’t focus, breathe or concentrate.  I wasn’t in that pose, I fell out and had to chuckle at the difference between the two.

     

    I caught the feeling of how quickly moments go by, how we have to grab and drink of each one, and not worry about the flavor of the next, or indulge to long in a past one.  We have this moment, right here.  

     

    Right here, right now, we begin again. 

  • One Posture at a time.

    It is here, I am half way done with the 60-day challenge, which means I got up 30 days in a row and did yoga, which to me is amazing.

     

    I felt good today doing the yoga, I was stronger in some places, less wobbly, and was able to hold the postures longer.

     

    I watched for resistance, and found some in weird places, just odd little muscles holding back.

     

    My shoulder muscles for sure seem always to be zapping up energy in postures where they are not required. 

     

    Also, my jaw muscles want to get involved, and they are in the way in Rabbit and actually when relaxed make my breathing easier and fuller.

     

    My shoulders, neck and jaw are the three places where I stored all my resentment and stress.

     

    It is odd, that my upper body was bracing and feels stiff, and my lower body is slack and yielding and weak.

     

    I am thinking as my legs walk my truth as I lock my knees against things that are not good for me, this will balance out.  And then my shoulders can relax and as long as I speak my truth, my jaw doesn’t have to clench in frustration.

     

    I told those muscles to relax now, that I had a better grasp on life, and that they no longer had to stand guard against things I didn’t pay attention to.

     

    It is like my body has been bracing itself for the next assault; knowing that I would go against the body to help/be/do for the others good, not mine.

     

    Like any broken relationship it takes time to mend and build trust, but we can one posture at a time.

     

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  • A Stranger In The Mirror.

    "You don't have to worry about changing the world; just change yourself, and you will surely inspire the world to follow. The longest distance any of us ever has to travel to reach Self-Realization is 6 inches.  Take your hand, right now, and touch yourself on the forehead with the tips of your fingers.  That is where we all must start.  Now touch your fingertips to the center of your chest, right over your heart.  That is our ultimate destination.  Six inches lie between mind and heart, between ego and Spirit, between fear and love.  Six inches is all that separates us from God.  It is the true path to Self-Realization, the way is lit by yoga."     Bikram

     

    It is day 18, a nice number and my yoga is strong, or I was strong with yoga. 

     

    The pain in my hip has changed and it now feels more like a healing pain, not a stopping pain.  I am able to relax in the pose instead of just bearing it, moving slightly deeper each set.

     

    What I felt somewhere during yoga yesterday that perhaps what was stopping me was not the fear of an old memory, but maybe the fear of a new me, or the mixture of both. 

     

    As I was letting go, maybe I was surrendering to the death of the old me, and succumbing to the new unfamiliar me.

     

    In that weird spot of letting go and not able to grab firmly on to a new me, I knew that I was not alone, that I would not be asked to traverse this by my self.

     

    An overwhelming feeling of gratitude flooded me, knowing once again the Universe and I would witness together each adjustment.

     

    It did not forsake me in the darkest of times, so I am certain It will walk with me now.

    I will be in awe of the synchronicity and flow.

     

    Watching everything I need fall into place at the right and perfect time. 

     

    My only task is to give 110% to yoga each day, and surrender to the flow of change.

     

    When I look into the mirror during yoga, I see so much of my mother, for I reflect her image closely.  I look deeply each day for her to recede and watch for sprouts of a new me.

     

    About five years ago I had said that my father would not define who I am, it never has occurred to me to set the same tone with my mother, so I did so today.

     

    Her image shares the mirror with me, I had emulated her so closely, each day I desire to see less and less of her, and more and more of me.

     

    To see a Me I have not met, a stranger in the mirror.

    Soul Sister