Did you know that brainwashing is when you no longer have the option of choice?
I witnessed my daughter lose her power of choice.
She didn’t even know she gave up her choices while she attended only one option.
The one option became the most important, she was willing to lie to protect that option, she was willing to give up her self for that one option, she lost her self by focusing on one choice.
It soon had control of her and not her of choice.
This secret life, the clandestine meetings, the specialness of feeling that only the two of them knew, created the one option.
This one option wasn’t to be shared.
It was separated from the world.
It was ‘special’.
She lost her other choices for none of them were allowed in the ‘special’ spot.
The special spot and the man who occupied this site began changing her to fit his spot.
She had to change to play there.
She couldn’t bring him into her life; she could only go to his.
This ‘special man’ didn’t fit into her old life; she had to create a new self to fit in his.
In doing so, she lost the options.
She lost the freedom, the flowing back and forth between two lives unchanged.
She had to become different in both worlds.
In his world, they had to be quiet, keep it secret, don’t let anyone know what it was they were doing, it was the key that turned the lock.
This twisted sense of special steals away the person you are and you leave your old life and self behind to fit into this new picture, unknowingly.
You leave yourself bit by bit by bit, until you are fashioned into this new self and the path back to your old self goes dark.
What my husband and I had to do was let her make choices, to unlock the frozen part in her brain.
While his key is secret, our key is freedom.
He had taken away the choices we gave them all back.
We had to do the opposite of what had led her down this road.
She gets to make choices.
We won’t tell her what to do.
We open up the space for freedom.
I share my views.
I show her how I see things.
I allow her to see them her way.
What I love is that we remain our selves and that alone will lead her back to her self.
She left us to play in a secret land we did not leave her.
So she gets to decide, does she want to play in the secret land or play in our land.
Does she want to be the person she needs to be to be ‘special’ with him or does she want to be her old self.
The freedom we allowed was the key that set her free to begin to once again make choices.
Choices, they seem so obvious so simple so easy, and yet that is what the perpetrator seizes first.
You are not given an option to do it any other way.
Their option is the only one that will keep this relationship going.
You have no choice but to go along.
And sadly, usually by this time you have become friends, you have given trusts and faith and love to the individual, and in order to maintain this ‘special’ relationship, IT depends upon your silence.
Your silence and his creates a cocoon that separates you from your self and the world around you.
You live in this upside down and backwards ‘other’ land.
You have to change to fit in there and the changes are so noticeable in your old life.
You have to lie to leave your old life to go to his.
You have to lie to your self and overlook how it makes you feel in your old life.
You come alive in his and die in your own.
What a tragedy.
The greatest thing we did was to give her back her choices.
To allow her to choose what path she wants to strengthen and which one she wants to weaken.
Her brainwashing was in a very short time and she didn’t play in the secret land too long.
The longer you are there, the more ingrained the false self gets and the further away the road that leads you back.
But as far as I can tell, by my experience, is that when I gave myself the option of choice, I was free.
Free to begin, choice-by-choice, bit-by-bit to recapture life for me.
The freedom in allowing all in our home to be free is the key that makes this a non-brainwashing home.
A home of choices, you get to decide which ones you want to make, but make no mistake, each and every choice comes with a consequence, and it is up to you which consequence you choose.
We create a life and self by each choice we make.
I M Perfect lady 