I listened today to a mother and daughter speaking about a time in their lives where the daughter wanted her freedom to do drugs and the mother wanted her daughter to stop using drugs.
These opposing desires had them in a battle of the wills.
Until the mother realized she couldn’t do this anymore and she let her go, allowing her to leave the rehab and set out on her own. She believed that in three weeks the daughter would be back home.
Three years passed while the daughter went deeper into the drug world, selling her body to buy drugs, being homeless, until she almost died and had a near death experience, did she realize doing drugs wasn’t a good thing.
What caught my attention was that no matter what the disagreement is, until you both agree, there will be a battle of wills.
This battle of wills seems to make each person dig deeper and find reasons for their side and tearing up the relationship with each fight.
I can’t even begin to imagine letting a daughter go to sink deeper into the drug addiction, but I can also see the struggle to keep her out, when everything inside of her screams for drugs and the freedom to do what it is she pleases.
However, the mother did not allow this behavior to ruin her home; the daughter and her drug habit left her house.
This exchange I heard this afternoon, shown me that what my daughter and I are going through is mild in a sense, and that the freedom I have given her to make up her own mind is a good thing.
That she gets to decide what is good for her self.
While I know my perspective is clear and she knows it, she now has to decide what is good for her, her life, and her future.
Letting me down is the smallest of affects, for she will have to live with the choices fully just as the daughter who lived with all the things that come with the drugs, my daughter will have to live with all the things that come with a married man; the three kids, and ex-wife and the very beginnings of a divorce.
My life, my home, my inner peace and happiness are separated.
I will ‘think’ of her, but not experience her life, she will do that, she will feel the affects of all that comes with this man she has feelings for, he comes with a ton of baggage, all of which will spill into their relationship, but I will not feel it, she will.
I am willing to let her go.
Time will tell if the pull to go is strong enough to make her leave…there will be no battle of the wills. The door is open.
“A woman convinced against her will is of the same opinion still.”
I M Perfect lady 