I M Perfect lady

I am irresponsible with my Light, with my self, with my body, with all the giggles, delight and pleasures, inspiration, free spirit feelings, art, my peace, my joy and my love, I leave them to suffer with others!

I am irresponsible in not wholly feeling, owning, and enjoying with abandon, me.

“Enjoying with abandon” strikes me as an odd choice of words that came out.

I literally do feel that I abandon ‘someone’ if I simply and totally enjoy myself!  That it is wrong to focus on just me.  Just me

Living my life separate and free. 

How is it that I feel so much like I am abandoning others when I do this?

The feeling of doing wrong while doing right has plagued me since I left my dysfunctional family.  It is the thread that has run through every thing.

The abandoning I am doing is actually a good thing; I am separating myself, my life from themselves and their lives. 

No one tells you that as you walk out of co-dependent behavior YOU will feel like you are abandoning him or her. 

Abandoning, I had to go look up the definition.

1.    leave somebody behind: to leave somebody or something behind for others to look after, especially somebody or something meant to be a personal responsibility

2.    leave place because of danger: to leave a place or vehicle, especially for reasons of safety and without intending to return soon

3.    renounce something: to renounce or reject something previously done or used

Synonyms: dump, ditch, discard, dispose of, throw out, throw away

The only reason I can feel like I am abandoning others is that I feel responsible for others.

You simply can’t abandon something you are not responsible for!

Yet each time I am sucked into feeling responsible for another’s feelings, I am abandoning my own feelings.

If I have to abandon someone, it best not be me!

“If I pick you up, I put me down!”

    Carl and Beth