I M Perfect lady

I found myself seeing myself but with my old perception and then with my new perception could see my old self.

It is like looking in a two-way mirror seeing your self on both sides. 

Amazing to see such contrasts between the two.

It dawned on me that I am a crazy, daring, bold lady, a woman of courage who tossed aside 46 years of rules and regulations to follow her own truth. 

I am in awe of the distance between these two women, and they both are Me.

The lady I used to be didn’t break rules, she followed along obediently even if she didn’t want to, people pleasing was her full time job, and choice making wasn’t her strong suit, her sense of self was gotten from the multitude of labels she covered her self with.

My new lady tossed out all the rulebooks, and set out on her own, using her own body as her guide, for the first time ever.

I remember stating, “It was like I was going to find myself, I didn’t know who I was or even that I was missing.”

And it was the truth.

I left my old me and I walked away, for the old me was a combination of other peoples ideas of me, their needs of me, their wishes of me, I was a me of their dreams, but not of my own.

The old me was built up for reasons that had little or nothing to do with me.  Even if I didn’t know who I was, I knew for sure who I wasn’t.

A child molester once said, “I changed who she would have been,” and he is right.

A little girl who has been molested loses her way, her passions, and her spirit. 

Her life is only about surviving.

In this two-way mirror on my journey I see how the same courage she had to survive, she used to set herself free. 

From the wide view I see a fearlessly bold lady who has taken her life back.  Who will no longer just survive, but she will live.

She will live her own dreams, have her own ideas, make her own wishes and suit her own needs.

Self lovingly at last, she is free to be the girl she was meant to be.