I M Perfect lady

Drink In Their Truths

Mark Nepo writes in The Book of Awakening, “The unwavering truth is that when we agree to any demand, request, or condition that is contrary to our soul’s nature, the cost is that precious life force is drained off our core. Despite seeming rewards of compliance, our souls grow weary by engaging in activities that are inherently against their nature.”

In another section he writes, “It’s taken me thirty of my forty-nine years to realize that not being who I am is more deadly, and it has taken the last nineteen years to try and make a practice of this. What this means in a daily way, is that I have to be conscientious about being truthful and resist the urge to accommodate my truth away. It means that being who I really am is not forbidden or muted just because others are uncomfortable or don’t want to hear it.”

His words affirms how I found myself…first I was given the full frontal view of all the things I had said yes to when I should have said no. All the discomforts I had withstood for the sake of getting along, had grown even more uncomfortable and it seemed some discomforts had whole families of uncomfortable feelings.

It is like all the little mole hill choices grew into mountains as the years went past. That one little situation, that I said yes, when my soul wanted to say no, was now way out of control.

We fail to realize what each little tiny decision means in the direction our lives move and how often we neglect our souls to say yes to comply.

In that brief moment we take the road of least resistance and then ‘forget about ‘ or at least try to. But the things we acquiesced to add up and soon there are a pile of misrepresented items of you.

The total balance sheet of you shows columns of mixed up messages. Saying yes when you mean no weakens who you are and your life has no core value to stand up.

The saying, “if you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything,” comes to mind.

Mark Nepo and other masters, authors and teachers are trying to help us find ourselves…and the real self can be found in each authentic response to all of life’s little questions.

What do you want for dinner?

Where do you want to go for a ride?

What movie do you want to watch?

We think we will become enlightened by the deep profound questions, but actually we find ourselves in the small authentic answers.

This also caught my eye…. “Well, it is no secret that slowness remembers and hurry forgets; that softness remembers and hardness forgets; and surrender remembers and fear forgets.”

“It is beautifully difficult to remember who we really are. But we help each other every time we fill up the cup of truth and hold each other up after drinking from it.”

I love beautifully difficult…and holding each other up after drinking our truths.

My life is beautifully difficult and my passion or desire or where I find I am best used is in supporting others as they drink in their truths.

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bjukuri

Responses

  1. amy byrne Avatar
    amy byrne

    I’ve been thinking a lot lately. Well, you’ve got me thinking a lot lately. 😉 so my dad always had little poems or songs he’d teach me. One that I always loved and was actually reading last night is The Psalm of Life. Two of my favorite verses, although the whole thing is pretty great..
    Tell me not in mournful numbers
    Life is but an empty dream!
    For the soul is dead that slumbers
    And things are not quite what they seem.
    In the world’s broad field of battle,
    In the bivouac of Life,
    Be not like dumb, driven cattle!
    Be a hero in the strife!
    I awakened my soul when I left the church and stopped lying to myself and everyone else about my beliefs. Now here I am, realizing i am quite possibly disconnecting from my spirit once again, letting it fall into another slumber by being inauthentic in other parts of my life. Acting like dumb, driven cattle! Being agreeable! Wow. This is hard work. I’ve been giving myself away more and more and to who’s benefit? It’s not making me feel any better about myself. Im happy with everything I have in my life, my husband, my kids, our home. So why do I feel incomplete? Think you may have shown me one of the answers. Certainly not an easy one.
    I was reading carls blog last night. One of the lines went something like “I’m howling to the moon and stars. Making sure the universe hears me.” I know I’m a little off on the quote. But reading that actually gave me a yearning feeling that filled me up. I want to howl!! I want to feel that much!! I’m on a mission now. And I don’t think its an accident that I have been led to your blogs. I truly believe the universe is telling me, “hey Amy, remember this? Remember this feeling..time to get back to it!” So…
    Thank you, thank you, thank you.

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  2. I M Perfect Avatar
    I M Perfect

    Thank you Amy, for being brave and hearing the messages of the blogs. It is easier to be one of the ‘driven cattle’, but it comes at the price of our souls.
    Following your inner voice, listening to your deeper feelings, living authentically will open up your life in ways beyond what you can imagine.
    I love our dialogue….
    I feel your earnest desire to stop being driven…being in compliance and instead dance from the inside out!
    Go AmY Go!

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  3. Carri Avatar
    Carri

    One thought pops into my mind when reading this…silly really. My husband and I are driving to dinner he asks “where would you like to eat?”
    I repond “I don’t care or I don’t know.” This is always my response.
    He then says “How can you not care/know?” I just look at him and say “I don’t know, just pick somewhere and we’ll eat.”
    “But I asked you” he tells me.
    “Whatever is fine, I am just hungry” I sigh.
    On and on it goes until he finally says “Where DON’T you want to eat?”
    I tell him a few places NOT to go and he picks. But really in my stomach I want Olive Garden but I know he doesn’t love it. I also know he will go there if I pick it. Such a stupid internal struggle~ I want it but think I am satisfied with knowing he’ll go if I tell him where I’d like to eat. We usually go to a steak house and I get a fancy salad.
    NEXT time I will take a deep breath and tell him what I want. Then he can get a fancy steak at a salad house. Silly really but seems like a huge step…

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  4. I M Perfect Avatar
    I M Perfect

    Carrie, that is exactly what I used to do, and now I speak up. Sometimes it really doesn’t matter, other times I do have a craving for something specific.
    One fall I was pondering going to visit Carl in Texas and I wanted my husband to be the one to make up my mind. And he says, “why can’t you make decide on your own?”
    Here is the deal on this. If we don’t make the choice, we are not responsible. And sadly, we are so responsible for others, and not very responsible for our own choices.
    I love that you can see that we are shaped in the small choices. How nice to have a husband ask…since he is asking, he does want to know what you want.
    Here is another point. We are not used to having others see what we want and or deliver what we want even after we ask, so maybe we stopped having desires or wants.
    I know that when you start watching all the times you say, “I don’t care”…you will find places that you don’t consider your self worthy of having a voice, a choice and a desire or want.
    Learning to Care for ourselves is strange, especially coming from the oldest of a big family, we simply had to put our self aside and care for others. We are good care GIVERS, but not good caretakers of ourself.
    Let me know how this goes for you….

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  5. amy byrne Avatar
    amy byrne

    “If we don’t make the choice, we are not responsible.” So very true. In the ‘where do you want to go’ situation..the only thing Im responsible for is ME being unsatisfied with where we end up!! Come to think of it. I suppose that would apply to all my choices I’m given in life that I let others decide for me. I think whether its being women, moms, or from the families we were raised in, we are in very nurturing roles. We tend to need to take care of everyone around us first. I’m wondering Beth, if this is why we might not feel worthy..would that make us bad wives or bad mothers if we put our wants first?? Or does it go even deeper than that? But you’re right Carri, it is so silly. I do it all the time. And this is why I love my husband. He knows I’m picky and that I know what I want. Every once in awhile he will purposely teach me a little lesson and pick something he knows I hate, just to prove a point to me. He wants me to speak up!! The people that love us WANT us to be true. And like I said in our phone conversation, I know at least 3 people who love me and will be there for me..and YOU are one of them! And I’m hoping there will be a few more that will surprise me. 🙂

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  6. I M Perfect Avatar
    I M Perfect

    Great dialogue girls. I do believe we are taught not to put our selves on the list, or in doing so we are considered and told it is selfish.
    But I have found it is self loving to speak up for your self, to make your wishes and desires know.
    There is definitely confusion between self LOVING and being selfish.
    There is a balance to all things. And we teach our daughters mostly by how we live our lives. If we don’t have a self interest or self passion, or speak and act as a separate lady, they too will merge their lives into anothers, becoming invisible.
    So, by adding flare and artfulness or intrigue in your life, you are showing your daughters being an individual is a good thing.
    Again, great conversation, thanks girls.

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