I M Perfect lady

I have been sitting and looking or feeling Christmas this year and in a much different place.  In the past Christmas came in and swept me up and carried me off…filling me with huge expectations of me and wildly false expectations of others. It seemed the magic of Christmas was about changing my life.

It was suppose to ease my burdens and replace resentments with love…it was I guess suppose to act like magic.  Where all I had to do was 'wish' and my wishes would be granted.

If I believed.  And I wanted to believe that magically miracles would happen, and all I had to do was wish them so. That perhaps the right present would bring in happiness…that would stay the whole year through.

Today, Christmas seems overly garnished on an already peaceful life, that none of the 'stuff' will make my life better…that the purpose of Christmas lost its purpose.

Tis the season of love…seems odd, when love is always in season.

My remembering of Jesus and how he lived is not set aside for certain days, but lived, always. 

His birth represents to me, awareness that we all come from one God, we each are but a wave in the ocean of humanity…created by one God.  We are all equal…no one is more special than the other.

In the past, when I felt less than, Christmas mattered more.  When I felt that it was Jesus or God's job to save me, make me happy etc, I was left in the place of always wanting. Waiting for the right gift, the right person, the right action, and then like magic, my life would change.

Now that I realize, that what is bound on earth is bound in Heaven; when I consciously am aware that I am co-creating with God, that nothing happens without my active participation, that I am the center of my Universe, that He can only give back to me what which I send out…I am left without the magic of Christmas on this one special day…for I feel the Christmas magic in me always.

My love isn't found underneath the tree, it is within me.

My peace isn't when the right circumstances come together, peace is within me.

Joy is knowing the meaning of Christmas is always within me.