I M Perfect lady

I listened to a podcast, about exploring the rising trend about going No Contact with your Family.

I have been No Contact with my family now for over 20 years, which seems almost surreal. A brother was the last contact I lost – about 10 years ago.

It was good to hear others experiences. And, it affirmed a few things.

One being how the old way – of respecting your parents – for their role – rather for how the relationship was between you – is over.

The new way is now about the relationship. How do two people engage with each other. We no longer put the role before the way the relationship feels inside.

This makes so much more sense – and I feel that both sides would gain so much – if the relationship was healthy.

We are no longer expected to stay in toxic relationships no matter who they are with. There is a huge amount of freedom knowing you can do the No Contact route.

Another part was when a hospice nurse spoke about parents who were dying and how they wanted the estranged child to call. The feelings the hospice nurse had was that it was about control – that the parent believed since they were dying the child would acquiesce.

The nurse felt it was a selfish act.

This was how I felt and it is good to be affirmed with that choice. She even said that even though the child didn’t want to speak to the dying parent, most wanted to be called upon the death.

The nurse saying something about how terrible it would be to find out on Facebook. Which is exactly how I did.

The podcast also showed how there are many reasons for children to have no contact with their parents and siblings. As well as parents who put up boundaries against children.

Mostly, it is about how we feel inside when we are with our families. How they see us, hear us and understand. Just as in any relationship we have, it is best when they are healthy. When we can be ourself and be loved unconditionally.

I think this trend of No Contact, will make better parents – ones who are less about the role they play and more about the content of their relationships. It will help them see their child as unique individuals.

One young girl said how much better her insides feel now that she has no contact – she feels so free and happy in her life.

That is me.

You can listen to Oprah’s podcast to hear more.