What I experienced was the karmic wheel that was much larger than what I seen of my boss’s one day.
This was an energy that had been repressed and bundled in fear.
Each moment in my life where I felt the superior was neglectful; I became insubordinate and tried to correct my mother’s behavior by correcting them.
The Universe has delivered to me various opportunities to attend to myself, but in each of the situations I instead became rebellious to the boss, not wanting to once again endure the treatment of childhood.
More than once, I have been told I walked a fine line of being insubordinate.
I looked up the meaning, it means to refuse to obey orders or submit to authority.
Of course my insubordinate nature was always to protect the unprotected children, no matter if the ‘children’ were my fellow employees.
I was stuck in the fear of being responsible for things that I wasn’t suppose to be responsible for and for making the supervisor/mother aware of their behaviors while wanting to please them by allowing them to leave for rest, yet resenting the mess they left me in.
If you look at this without the fear of being unattended, or the fact that I will not be held responsible for things that could/would and may happen, I am just a woman whose only responsibility is to care for my one rural route.
I can do that.
I did do that.
I literally kept bringing the focus back to my mail, my job and tried to ‘not care’ about what was going on in her world.
The separation is key.
The knowing what is my business and what is hers.
What is my responsibility and what is hers.
Thankfully she didn’t leave behind babies who were in need of much care, babies that I just couldn’t neglect and leave unattended.
What I see and feel most now is that I have a much broader view and less fear of the lines between what is my responsibility and what is others.
Picking up others responsibility has weakened my shoulders and weighed heavy in my life.
I feel the correction and the absence of fear that I am not being a good responsible girl in their absence with a load so much larger than my capabilities.
My own load I can manage.
I M Perfect lady 