“Our own physical body possesses a wisdom which we who inhabit the body lack. We give it orders which make no sense.” ~Henry Miller
I seem to have an eating person and then a person who sees the affects, but the two haven’t met.
My eating person calls foods delicious and has cravings for sweets and she lives above my neck. She enjoys the tastes and eats as if the food will fall on the ground after she chews, paying no attention to the body underneath.
My eating is similar to smoking without inhaling, or so my mind has me believing, but the mirror tells a different tale.
What is so odd is the body that needs better eating is not in control of the eating and the eating mouth cares less about what happens after it tastes, chews and swallows.
While some diets look at the food and other people are telling the person to exercise, what I am thinking needs to be changed is the mind.
It is the town crier calling scrumptious bakery delicious, but who is it delicious for, A thought in the head?
My thoughts about food and what is the reality of food is a world apart, not even in the same room.
My awareness is never in both places at the same time, yet my head is attached to my body. My body is not welcome in the boardroom when decisions about it are made.
It shocking to know that my head lies or fails to acknowledge how the words and food don’t match, that there is a huge contradiction going on.
Yet my head is the first to complain as I stand in front of the mirror, Like it had nothing to do with the weight upon my thighs!
It is insane, the one that is craving and eating is now berating or feeling disappointed in the body…when the body is simply a dumping ground or garbage bag for the head.
I am right in the middle of calling its bluff, and trying to stop reacting to eating choices and instead bring the body to the table and eat for it and not for my head.
It is a fickle head…for it slurps up food, burps and then turns on its self when it sees the affects, like the traitor it is.
This lying eating head is the same head that wanted me to stay in bed and not do yoga; it is a part of myself that sucks the living out of me.
Within my food palate are vestiges of dysfunction, camouflaged in pretty cakes and candy, the pretty sounding names and tastes I have become accustomed to, my way with food.
My immature food palate will take time to adjust to eating food that the body can use for energy and nutrients instead of pleasing a childish mind set.
I am finding it odd that I have a iron grip on my sweets and feel less without them in my mail jeep. I like knowing they are there. It is odd to have this ‘value’ in no value items.
Like clinging to love that is really abuse.
I am holding on to the food that is keeping me overweight and out of shape, tired and lazy…and pushing away the good.
This is a repeating cycle in my wellness…holding on to what hurts me…fear of letting go of familiar even if familiar isn’t good.
I M Perfect lady 