The phrase, “The Elephant in the Room” what does that really mean and how is it used properly?
Have we been taught to not speak about things that are there, due to the reaction they bring?
What are Elephants in a room?
What is that?
Is it a truth that is too much to bear?
It seems to me that IF all know the Elephant is there and will not speak of it; we are all playing a game called, ‘lets pretend’.
And ironically, it isn’t the Elephant we are pretending about but ourselves.
A silent unspoken agreement that states, I will pretend to like you when I know you do things I don’t agree with, if you pretend to like me for pretending to like you.
It seems to me that allowing an Elephant/truth to sit unspoken about is to pretend to pretend to pretend that there is a common ground that slipped away with the truth.
And in order to maintain this false relationship, the Elephant/truth must not be mentioned, we skip around the mountain, and reach the summit of social niceties.
We then form a new relationship that requires us to not go near the Elephant or truth.
So what are we really preserving by being so courteous?
Isn’t it just an old relationship minus the new and changing truths?
This Elephant in the room that no one speaks about or entertains, to me is just dancing in denial with another.
Being in a relationship that dishonors both.
If truth isn’t allowed into a relationship, then I have no interest there.
I am almost positive that the Elephant that arrived in the room with my father is he is a pedophile. If many adults in my youth had spoken of this Elephant, perhaps a few little girls would have been saved.
It isn’t so much about the Elephant, but the ones who sit silently and allow it to be there.
Elephants don’t disappear, don’t change, aren’t healed or treated in silence, nope, instead they continue to live out their sickness in full living color, while many courteously look on, being much to kind to speak of such ills about another person, to kind, to much into the social niceties, preserving a family, saving a father, sparing a brother, keeping sweet, that which isn’t.
An Elephant in the room is showing you what is wrong and you will either see it and respond or look away.
Pretending there is no Elephant is denial.
And denial doesn’t heal, cure, erase, etc to the Elephant, it says much more about you than them.
They are being their true selves; you are not willing to see it.
You want to preserve a relationship of old, like good memories, and not willing to be present with who they are today, for it will crack, shatter, and explode the person you need them to be.
At some point in time, it will be harder and harder to be in a room with an Elephant, it will simply cost you too much.
My silence is not for sale, it cannot be used to cover your truth.
I M Perfect lady 